Star Wars 8 shit talk

That light speed ship-split shot caused audible gasps

"I must also have no soul because by the eighteenth new species of big-eyed furry creature all I saw was dollar signs."

you mean there is a consumerist toy driven aspect to the new star wars? heavens!

Sure, but they really stuffed this one to the brim and then kept going.

An important lesson from this film is to never, ever follow a plan cooked up by Poe or Finn. Those two dipshit cowboys are basically responsible for 99% of the resistance deaths in this movie.

To the extent that it feels like a cop-out when Dern is like "I like him!"

xxp to simon

they really didn't. compare it to ROTJ or the prequels

off the top of my head, the porgs, the horse things, the crystal dogs, and the little nun things were all on the cutesy end of new stuff. (if they market lactating toys of the teat creature we'll know they've hit the dregs)

The Porgs and Vupltices (yes) could've at least helped in the fight. Porgs shitting on AT-AT windscreens while the Vulptices (YES) gnaw at their cables.

Those two dipshit cowboys are basically responsible for 99% of the resistance deaths in this movie.

Haha, yes, and if Admiral Laura Dern had just trusted in Poe to tell him her plan, Finn and Rose wouldn't have had to do any of the things they did. That's not QUITE Ebert's "idiot plotting," but it's close. Still, I liked Dern's character a lot.

I also liked that del Toro's character actually took the money and ran rather than having a last second change of heart. For a split second I thought that would be him in the AT-ST saving Finn and Rose.

Benicio was the MVP for sure

Bit disappointed that BB-8 and its First Order counterpart didn't actually go one on one so let's book ten minutes of Ep in for that.

fingers crossed benicio is fleshed out in the han solo movies

This is canon now pic.twitter.com/lNvPKp1iPH

— Jackson McHenry (@McHenryJD) December 15, 2017

"fingers crossed benicio is fleshed out in the han solo movies"

is he supposed to have never aged? how would that even work

science fiction movies have magical makeup, costume, hair, and special effects sorcerers iirc

favorite image from the film (besides "Luke" facing down AT-ATs at dawn) is space wizard leia surviving the vacuum. tearjerking!

lmao I hated that scene so much and I'm not totally sure why

You know what I just realized is a very important choice that they made? Nobody gets their hand cut off in this movie. Thank you, Disney.

Each SW director is allowed to choose either a hand removal or a bisection, but not both.

*Shpoilers* I did like it a lot more than TFA. However, the only explanation I'll take for the Porgs is that Chewbacca took them as a sustainable source of meat on the Falcon. The Luke hologram sequence was bloody cool. However, like Simon I hated flying Leia...it felt very out of place in the sequence. The glossing over of Poe's coup attempt is ridiculous.

Things I probably thought too much about:

Are there not videorecorders in Snokes throne room? Or did the force disable them?

If a ship going at light-speed is so effective against Star Destroyers, why are there not kamikaze drone type ships? C3PO could also have taken one for the team instead of Dern and soulless old me wouldn't have cared.

Would they not physically inspect the gated cavern instead of trusting a schematic? These rebels are not smart enough to be worthy opposition to the First Order.

Also, as god is my witness, when the movie wiped to Rey and Luke for the first time, and he reached to take it, I was milliseconds away from leaning to my wife and saying "He's going to turn around and chuck it into the ocean angrily." Then I thought naaaah, no way. The actual choice was funnier.

"it" = his lightsaber

I think technically Snoke's hands were cut off...during the process of a wider sliceroo.

And if Luke shut himself off from the Force did that mean he was jumping on that big fishing stick with no manipulation? Impressive.

Did anyone else notice that the credits include a listing for John Williams's original song from Altman's The Long Goodbye? I'm assuming it appears in the Canto Bight scenes somewhere but I wouldn't have been listening for it.

LOL you guys this movie had both a space horse race AND a horseback chase scene in it. AND little ragamuffin space orphans.

I was so relieved the kids didn't have corkney accents.

oh god how I hated the adorable space orphans lol

controversial Luke lol i didn't mind: lightsabre river-chuck
controversial Luke lol i did mind: wiping dirt off the shoulder at a crucially tense and emotional climactic moment

otm

other good, possibly fan-bothering lol: Yoda says the Jedi books were not much cop; 'page turners, they were not'.

Great lol:

"The odds against it are fifteen thousand, two hundred and forty -- "

"SHUT! UP!"

" . . . to one."

space wizard leia helps the audience cope with carrie fisher's death / sets rey up to take over for her as a surrogate daughter who brings jedi justice to ben

Another layer to this is how it seems like Johnson just decided to throw away everything from TFA he didn’t like. Snoke. Phasma. Kylo’s mask. By the end of this he’s boiled it down to the one big conflict that matters, taken the meaningless mysteries off the board, and raised the stakes by an order of magnitude

not reading the above right now, but don't you guys usually change over to a current thread once these genre OOH SPOILERZ things actually get released?

I'm not sure how much credit RJ deserves for that / how free a hand he really had. xp

naw Morbs think we only had the one thread for Star Wars 7 shit talk

https://society6.com/product/our-blessed-rebel-queen-carrie-fisher_print?sku=s6-8248160p4a1v45

nashwan steered us right into spoilertown and there's no turning back

Ah wait how could I forget Star Wars 7 Spoilers Thread: This SPOIL bath is going to feel so good.

Better to keep it all in one place tho imo.

should a mod add "now with SPOILERS" to the thread title?

fine, i don't care who chops Luke's leg off

lol unfortunately i've spoiled myself plenty already but i'm psyched for this film based on tombot's impressions

return of the jedi
star wars
the empire strikes back
rogue 1
the last jedi
the force awakens
revenge of the sith
the clone wars
the phantom menace

that's encouraging

there's unique magic to this one (without being too spoilerrific -- a super dope fantastic racing beast stampede) though for sure it is not perfect given its bloated running time but still it is way way worth seeing. it never gets as dumb as when han first got introduced in the force awakens with that raiders of the lost ark big trouble in little china space smugglers sequence. anyways i'd say the 'good' star wars movies outnumber the 'bad' ones now 6 - 3 \m/

I wouldn't rate Return of the Jedi that high but I'd say my list would be:

Empire
New Hope
Force
Rogue 1
last jedi
return

then all that other shit in a heap at the bottom

luke skywalker jedi knight outfit is the best star wars action figure

serious battlestar galactica / fifth element vibes in this one

I got no bad feelings about this movie.

not reading the above right now, but don't you guys usually change over to a current thread once these genre OOH SPOILERZ things actually get released?

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Friday, December 15, 2017 12:24 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If we do, will you stay in here and behave yourself?

I enjoyed this. BB8 sucks though. I can't even explain why ... something about that little bugger gets on my last nerve.