Star Wars 8 shit talk

and to think it took this long for leia to be revealed as a jedi master

there's one moment where Kylo looks like a human Tom Servo

and now they can’t follow up on it :( xp

really glad her daughter Billie got to be alongside her in her last Star Wars film

TFA and TLJ actually the first two movies she ever starred in, too!

An important lesson from this film is to never, ever follow a plan cooked up by Poe or Finn. Those two dipshit cowboys are basically responsible for 99% of the resistance deaths in this movie.

― El Tomboto, Friday, December 15, 2017 9:37 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah and I loved that Johnson framed it this way to the audience, too. confounding the typical definition of heroism in the SW universe, where it's traditionally been ok for scores of young Rebel soldiers to die in 5 minutes as long as one of you delivers a badass knockout punch that results in a temporary setback for your opponent

really need to re-watch this.

stuff I've been thinking about:

if TFA was disney "unfucking" the SW universe post-prequel then i can see this movie as further "unfucking" the Force as a belief system/religion etc. No midiclorians, no science. a poor orphan can use the force etc.

I could see TLJ really succeeding in a complete TFA->TLJ->EP9 cycle. That is to say Disney knows they have this for the long haul and they may have set up TLJ where it HAS to exist in w/in the other two movies.

Also feel like TFA built up a large reservoir of goodwill for future SW movies/EU material and they used a LOT of it on this one in ways I can't quite articulate. It seemed really piecemeal. Too many ideas @ once.

Not sure if I liked it!

one for the poster

kinda bummed me out that maz kanata not only ignored the resistance's call for help (presumably; "no response") but she's a union-buster to boot

she possibly fucked the codebreaker guy tho

Who we never see again!

lol I loved that.

This was ok. Lotta ironic humor, lotta tribbles. My daughter and I left with a good knock knock joke idea.

knock knock
who's there?
pew
pew who?
pew pew!!! pew! pew pew pew!!!!

are you gonna tell us what the good knock knock joke idea was?

when rose and finn are in that cell, realising they're fucked, and they get an offer of help from an admittedly shady character, why aren't they immediately on the case? i know the script wants us to understand they don't trust him or believe him but what's the alternative?? they literally are like "nah we're good" when he promises he can break the code. uh? lost of lot of momentum and motivation for me there and i suspend disbelief for a whole lot less, believe me

I think of this the other way around - we are meant to understand that this will be their code breaker, but their distrust is entirely natural : why would a master of security be locked in a jail cell?

(It’s not clear what the film’s answer is - waiting for marks? Sleeping off a bender?)

i get that but "pshaww" seems like the least helpful, and least believeable, possible response. the entire resistance is about to be wiped out, along with all their friends.

maybe they stunned him like everyone else kept getting stunned and he just woke up.

I think it's emblematic of the hubris that afflicts the young Resistance fighters throughout the movie. The codebreaker they were assigned was a stylishly dressed, cool Maz Kanata-endorsed dude. DJ is an eavesdropping, stammering criminal sharing a cell with them, whose background they don't know, and who makes it clear he's only in it for the money. He's the type of guy they've been programmed to think they shouldn't trust or get in bed with. (And, in actuality, their suspicions were correct, though mostly because they shouldn't have been on the mission to begin with).

They know they don't *really* have it covered, but they've pulled off many last-ditch efforts in the past and naively think if they can get released from jail, they can find the Kanata codebreaker and be on their way.

maz kanata is a trumpian casino maven. not sure why they trust her, star trek long distance 3dphone style

she's more than 1,000 years old, and is a former smuggler that is sympathetic to the cause. and Han Solo vouched for her. that's probably as far as it goes

I just assumed Benicio del Toro had lost that pin in a gambling match and that the guy wearing it was not the real code breaker. Because what are the odds that two people in the same remote place could be equally adept at breaking into the impenetrable fortress?

except she said the guy would be rolling at a high stakes table, which lapel/coat guy clearly was doing

Justin Theroux is also credited as "Master Codebreaker"

Bill Hader does some of BB-8's sound effects? huh

feel like between this and Peter Rabbit, Domnhall Gleeson's going to really start enjoying his scenery chewing

So what happened to R2D2?

used as a makeshift privy

fathered several hundred porgs iirc

cy-porgs

This piece articulates many of the things I loved in the movie: https://www.avclub.com/part-kurosawa-part-wile-e-coyote-the-last-jedi-boldl-1821291545🕸

xpost -- Gross.

Enjoyed it! Imperfect, whoever said it dragged in the middle at points was right (I had to duck out at one point for a restroom break and pretty sure I chose well because I didn't feel like I missed anything much). During the movie I felt the whole 'sit-there-and-get-pot-shots-thrown-at-it' approach of the one cruiser was odd but given The Secret Plan and showing up impatience I suppose it works...sorta? Because why wouldn't a bunch of transports go to a convenient planet with an old base that's apparently right there.

But yeah, that was a fun watch, more than a few upendings of the SW visual templates, and the only two things I was convinced would happen -- Snoke surviving for a final showdown in the next film, and, perhaps oddly, Chewbacca dying (I really had a hunch that they were going to do that) -- obviously didn't, so I'm good with upset expectations. More than anything I'm intrigued where the hell the final movie in this sequence goes -- I figure Abrams will take it in for a solid landing and all but that's a higher bar to clear than before.

A whole lot of conservative types on Twitter seemed to really hate the movie. Sucks to be them?

that whole anti-1% sequence chapped their asses i'm sure

imagining College Republicans standing up and yelling at the screen

the other thing about the plan to go to the abandoned Rebel base is they had to come up with it on the fly, because they had originally jumped to light speed to escape and regroup for a while. Having Star Destroyers show up unexpectedly and kill 95% of their officers undoubtedly put a damper on things.

I'm not sure if the Mineral Planet was in the plans prior to all of that happening or if it just happened to be a lucky opportunity.

why not more sorrow for Akbar?

"We're in the middle of nowhere and the First Order is wearing us down. Oh hey a planet!"

watching them all fly shitty, degraded speeders was amusing

I would wager most of my friends that didn't like this were the same people that didn't like Looper

Yeah, but what the fuck was even the point of that? “Let’s thin the ranks of our pilots a little more, we’re all going to die here anyway”

The newfound sense of humor among the bad guys is straight out of Spaceballs

It's the point where Poe finally learns to be a leader and calls off the run

Xpost

Though i suspect it was also because they believed there was only one entrance and once the ram cracked the door it would be all over. They were also hoping for help.

This is around the point where even Leia is packing it in iirc

Yes that was pretty clear at that point in the movie - it's suicide but we are done if they get the ram to blow the door.
The thing which amuses me about this movie and Empire is the notion that they're delivering troops and fighting gear using starships, but instead of landing them where they want to attack, they set them down a few miles away and then head over on agonisingly slow walking machines. I mean, it's absolutely awesome and I love it, but still.

What I remember one night, Tex and me
Rappelled in on a hot Rebellium L.Z.

Lol otm about First Orders terrible logistics

Man I dunno about this one. So much going on - almost too much - and so much that was downright corny, I thought, mixed in with some great stuff ( especially Mark Hammill's performance and the final 30 minutes of the film). But god there was a lot here that just felt...off.
And I really don't feel a thing for these new characters. Old.

Light speed offensive seemed the *moment* of the film - impressive from a film execution and maybe conceptual perspective. But yeah it didn’t hit me emotionally. Am I dead inside or do I just not give a shit about Laura dern?

I like Laura Dern very much but I'm with you. I just couldn't buy her in this. Some of the casting in these new SW films is just bad or borderline.

I wd be mad about those 2 posts but im high af