Star Wars 8 shit talk

Yeah, he did call her "chrome dome".
Loved Luke's weirdo milkman moment, though.

I thought little stable boy kid at the end was gonna do some pop-n-lock dance performance a la Boogaloo Shrimp in "Breakin'". The cheese...

And that Maz Canata scene - wtf ? Yeah - could go on and on.

That scene that lasted two whole minutes?

Yeah, two minutes and it still stunk.

It wasn't a scene, it was a Skype

The way this movie dealt with Snoke, Rey's parentage and Jedi mysticism was awesome, great, moving. Issues are there to be found but man it hits the main chords so well, and all the conspiratorial Star Wars fans complaints only underline its strengths.

I like Laura Dern very much but I'm with you. I just couldn't buy her in this. Some of the casting in these new SW films is just bad or borderline.

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal)
Posted: December 17, 2017 at 12:11:32 AM
Calstars u woukda only enjoyed it if it took place entirely in Moz's cantina

Bar Wars? Would watch

forest whitaker in rogue one being maybe a lone misstep

Felicity Jones was the bigger mis-cast in Rogue One - couldn't buy her as badass.

I have to say, per abcfsk's post, that one of the great things about Snoke was that he was set up as the mysterious badass but fairly obviously in a Palpatine 2.0 version and then for all his evident powers he just turned out to be an easily distracted bullshit artist. Like his final look was 'Oh god...that was the stupidest thing I could have done.'

yeah, hubris was his undoing.

I love that Kylo Ren *is* actually a clever, disciplined guy when he's able to keep his emotions in check. His undoing is always his rage, which keeps him unfocused and prevents him from being the ultimate killing machine.

He is tormented because he's never been able to be his own person. He had *two* legacies attempting to dictate his future (Vader and Luke) and neither one is ever able to fully overcome the other. So in a sense, that's why Rey has a leg up on him - her parents being nobodies removes the burden of having expectations to live up to.

If I ever saw this again (no offense, Star Wars, but unlikely) I would count up all the times an ironic turn-around gag was trotted out.

Here's your lightsaber. (throws it away)
"Master, I am the murph bir drab!" (take off that stupid helmet, I can't understand a word you're saying!)
There's the ship! (it blows up) Aw, come on!
I am the most powerful evil leader! (dies)
All you're good for is doing crazy things and blowing stuff up (enemy appears) Do you want me to do something crazy and blow things up?

and xpost Yeah, space walrus breastmilk gag the most wtf thing here. Also, Spaceballs humor in full effect. "For god's sake, put a shirt on or something!" Or my fave dry moment, when Adam Driver is all "shoot them" and the other guy is like "SHOOT THEM!" and Adam driver just turns his head and looks at him, like, no doi.

Oh, and clearly the next movie just when all hope is lost an adorable calvary of freed slave children a la Temple of Doom and Thunderdome will show up riding those freed space horses.

I have a feeling the next film is going to jump forward like 5-10 years or so. not far enough to where you'd be questioning why the characters don't look older than they do, but enough time to allow the Resistance to restore their numbers

also I predict Palpatine finds a way to resurrect himself

Jumping forward that much might be the least worst way to handle lack of Leia also.

opening crawl...

"GENERAL LEIA is dead. Let's just rip that bandaid off."

So uh...is Luke dead? Or was that a projection of a projection? Or is that just how jedis die? Cf Obi Wan in ep 4

he's p obviously dead. I mean...Rey and Leia talk about it 2 minutes later.

he also vanishes

this frees up Mark Hamill to star in Corvette Summer 2

Yoda just vanished when he died too. I mean, he did in Empire. In this movie, he just shows up for no reason and then vanishes again, kind of like R2.

Maybe we'll get an army of Jedi ghost all talking calmly about how they are more powerful than ever while the bad guys blow up planets and stuff.

he doesn't show up for no reason, he shows up to steer Luke back the right direction. he's a force ghost, he ain't gonna stick around long

TIL that Hamill auditioned for Skywalker at the behest of his buddy, Robert Englund!

Did they ever explain why Sith Lords can't ghost it up too? Maybe Snoke could have worked out a way to do it, now purely motivated by revenge against Kylo.

I like the idea of Snoke spending 2 hours as a ghost doing nothing but telling Kylo he's just a little bitch until he slices off his own head to shut him up

So Yoda showed up just to give Luke a generic "just books, page turners they are not" pep talk? Though of course later they show that Daisy saved the books after all.

Given all the suicide and attempted suicide and sacrifice in this and previous movies you'd think the Jedi message would ultimately be that it's better to be dead.

Josh, if I give you your money back, will you stop?

the whole message was to prevent Luke from losing Rey too, that if she lost hope in the Jedi ways and the Force, she might be easily lured to the Dark Side too. He's so focused on failing his students that Yoda has to remind him that the failure and weakness that they inadvertently pass on to their students teaches them just as much as the lessons.

Burning down the tree and the texts = these are just "things", the Jedi religion is about more than just sacred artifacts. this speech is also the whole reason he uses his Jedi powers for the first time in years.

lol Tombot I was wondering when you would arrive.

Did they ever explain why Sith Lords can't ghost it up too?

They should make a mismatched force ghost buddy comedy, with like a Sith and a Jedi arguing and fighting on a road trip.

Anyway, I liked it fine! This is the shit talk thread, isn't it? My only real disappointment, silly nit-picking and teasing aside, is that I glanced at enough "now *this* is how it's done!" reviews that I went in maybe expecting a bit more. Because yeah, this *is* how it's done. It was a fun big-budget blockbuster. But I felt that it, like the last one, were trying for more of a Guardians of the Galaxy type ironic vibe but were weighed down by the mythology. Which isn't bad, either, just ... weighs things down a bit.

I do like how technology has advanced so far that, ironically, they're able to craft some truly artistically beautiful scenes in this sci-fi fantasy world. Luke facing down the bad guys, the Laura Dern sacrifice ...

the visuals have been striking in the recent SW films in a way that technology prevented the original series from being.

the final battle on the Mineral planet had some gorgeous shots while the sun was setting. Luke's final moment, etc.

I actually asked for a book about the TLJ art from my secret santa lol

I will never not enjoy the shots of the unknown baddies in Tie Fighter cockpits trying to lock onto a Resistance target

That book sounds scrumptious

Just learned that the fat resistance pilot who buys it early in the movie is named Tubbs. Not sure if that’s better or worse than Porkins.

The movie definitely had some beautiful images as well as some strikingly minimal ones ( Rey in the "mirror" scene, Snoke's throne room).
Different flick but the "Art Of Rogue One" book is a beauty.

my secret santa gift arrived, and they got me the last jedi visual dictionary and a Praetorian Guard funko pop.

I also bought myself a second pair of Star Wars boxers and Rey and Stormtrooper figurines yesterday.

I'm becoming a child again v quickly

Spoilers ahead

THINGS I HATED:
- Leia Poppins. That was just odd.
- Holdo (Laura Dern) becoming the sacrifice hero and we should feel emotional about it I guess but not enough development or familiarity to really care. Meanwhile Admiral Ackbar who has been around since forever dies without any fanfare.
- So Luke has been studying the force for like 30+ years but he hasn’t really read those books... they make him look like a fool more often than not. I can now see why Hammil hinted at him not being very happy with how they developed the character. He’s supposed to be the wisest, most powerful Jedi but he comes off as a whiny old man. We needed that Yoda cameo to tell this wise jedi that you learn from failure? That’s a lesson they give you when you’re 6.
- Way too much humor, sometimes it’s ok but I’m sick with this anti-intellectualism that Disney is pushing on the Marvel and SW films. They don’t allow any ‘negative’ feelings to go on for too long or invite any active thinking (don’t come at me with ‘they’re blockbusters, they’re supposed to be fun’, because the OT and even the prequels as terrible as they were, didn’t spoon-fed you as much.
- This pacing results in a marked lack of tension throughout their films. Even when 2/3 of the Rebels are wiped you don’t really feel like the stakes are high. On the enemies side, the empire suffers heavy losses including the very hyped Snoke and he dies and nothing seems to really change.
- I know it’s a franchise but once again Disney is following on familiar beats. The most emotional moments always involve familiar characters (eg: Luke and Leia reunion). They can’t bank on nostalgia forever, can they?
- Way too many plot setups with unsatisfying concludions.

I disagree with everything you just said except "leia poppins"

The visuals and art in these new trilogy are really cool though.

Also I hate Finn as a character, they made him go through a very similar arc as in TFA. Seems like he doesn’t learn anything. He’s still trying to run away? He did it twice in TFA.

Frankly I loved the Leia Poppins bit because it was absolute unabashed space opera. Fully.

there was something sorta cremastery about it

Moka otm

I had no idea what was up with Finn. Is he supposed to be an opportunistic rogue, like Del Toro? Was he trying to just run away in the escape pod? But then later was willing to die later in the most dramatic and selfless way possible? What happened in between to change his character so much (that wouldn't have been changed by Force Awakens?)

The only spoon feeding that really irked me as I watched it was when Luke walked out alone to face Kylo and Oscar Isaacs wa all, "look, it's Luke, walking out alone to face Kylo!" Penalty, unnecessary exposition!

Also nerdy complaint:

As cool as the lightspeed kamikaze visuals were it will forever ruin any future space battle. If you can do that amount of damage then why even bother with bombers or big guns? You can have droids doing a kamikaze attack and end with a fleet in seconds.

What stopped the empire from smashing tie fighters at lightspeed at the ‘out of reach’ rebel ship?

Well, ideally you don't want to blow up a giant ship to take out another giant ship, those things cost money.

Finn was trying to run away to ‘save’ Rey, even then I kind of hate his character arc since we’ve been through this before with him. It seems they don’t know what to do with him which is a shame because a defected empire pilot sounds cool in concept and should be more badass or useful.