Star Wars 8 shit talk

opening crawl...

"GENERAL LEIA is dead. Let's just rip that bandaid off."

So uh...is Luke dead? Or was that a projection of a projection? Or is that just how jedis die? Cf Obi Wan in ep 4

he's p obviously dead. I mean...Rey and Leia talk about it 2 minutes later.

he also vanishes

this frees up Mark Hamill to star in Corvette Summer 2

Yoda just vanished when he died too. I mean, he did in Empire. In this movie, he just shows up for no reason and then vanishes again, kind of like R2.

Maybe we'll get an army of Jedi ghost all talking calmly about how they are more powerful than ever while the bad guys blow up planets and stuff.

he doesn't show up for no reason, he shows up to steer Luke back the right direction. he's a force ghost, he ain't gonna stick around long

TIL that Hamill auditioned for Skywalker at the behest of his buddy, Robert Englund!

Did they ever explain why Sith Lords can't ghost it up too? Maybe Snoke could have worked out a way to do it, now purely motivated by revenge against Kylo.

I like the idea of Snoke spending 2 hours as a ghost doing nothing but telling Kylo he's just a little bitch until he slices off his own head to shut him up

So Yoda showed up just to give Luke a generic "just books, page turners they are not" pep talk? Though of course later they show that Daisy saved the books after all.

Given all the suicide and attempted suicide and sacrifice in this and previous movies you'd think the Jedi message would ultimately be that it's better to be dead.

Josh, if I give you your money back, will you stop?

the whole message was to prevent Luke from losing Rey too, that if she lost hope in the Jedi ways and the Force, she might be easily lured to the Dark Side too. He's so focused on failing his students that Yoda has to remind him that the failure and weakness that they inadvertently pass on to their students teaches them just as much as the lessons.

Burning down the tree and the texts = these are just "things", the Jedi religion is about more than just sacred artifacts. this speech is also the whole reason he uses his Jedi powers for the first time in years.

lol Tombot I was wondering when you would arrive.

Did they ever explain why Sith Lords can't ghost it up too?

They should make a mismatched force ghost buddy comedy, with like a Sith and a Jedi arguing and fighting on a road trip.

Anyway, I liked it fine! This is the shit talk thread, isn't it? My only real disappointment, silly nit-picking and teasing aside, is that I glanced at enough "now *this* is how it's done!" reviews that I went in maybe expecting a bit more. Because yeah, this *is* how it's done. It was a fun big-budget blockbuster. But I felt that it, like the last one, were trying for more of a Guardians of the Galaxy type ironic vibe but were weighed down by the mythology. Which isn't bad, either, just ... weighs things down a bit.

I do like how technology has advanced so far that, ironically, they're able to craft some truly artistically beautiful scenes in this sci-fi fantasy world. Luke facing down the bad guys, the Laura Dern sacrifice ...

the visuals have been striking in the recent SW films in a way that technology prevented the original series from being.

the final battle on the Mineral planet had some gorgeous shots while the sun was setting. Luke's final moment, etc.

I actually asked for a book about the TLJ art from my secret santa lol

I will never not enjoy the shots of the unknown baddies in Tie Fighter cockpits trying to lock onto a Resistance target

That book sounds scrumptious

Just learned that the fat resistance pilot who buys it early in the movie is named Tubbs. Not sure if that’s better or worse than Porkins.

The movie definitely had some beautiful images as well as some strikingly minimal ones ( Rey in the "mirror" scene, Snoke's throne room).
Different flick but the "Art Of Rogue One" book is a beauty.

my secret santa gift arrived, and they got me the last jedi visual dictionary and a Praetorian Guard funko pop.

I also bought myself a second pair of Star Wars boxers and Rey and Stormtrooper figurines yesterday.

I'm becoming a child again v quickly

Spoilers ahead

THINGS I HATED:
- Leia Poppins. That was just odd.
- Holdo (Laura Dern) becoming the sacrifice hero and we should feel emotional about it I guess but not enough development or familiarity to really care. Meanwhile Admiral Ackbar who has been around since forever dies without any fanfare.
- So Luke has been studying the force for like 30+ years but he hasn’t really read those books... they make him look like a fool more often than not. I can now see why Hammil hinted at him not being very happy with how they developed the character. He’s supposed to be the wisest, most powerful Jedi but he comes off as a whiny old man. We needed that Yoda cameo to tell this wise jedi that you learn from failure? That’s a lesson they give you when you’re 6.
- Way too much humor, sometimes it’s ok but I’m sick with this anti-intellectualism that Disney is pushing on the Marvel and SW films. They don’t allow any ‘negative’ feelings to go on for too long or invite any active thinking (don’t come at me with ‘they’re blockbusters, they’re supposed to be fun’, because the OT and even the prequels as terrible as they were, didn’t spoon-fed you as much.
- This pacing results in a marked lack of tension throughout their films. Even when 2/3 of the Rebels are wiped you don’t really feel like the stakes are high. On the enemies side, the empire suffers heavy losses including the very hyped Snoke and he dies and nothing seems to really change.
- I know it’s a franchise but once again Disney is following on familiar beats. The most emotional moments always involve familiar characters (eg: Luke and Leia reunion). They can’t bank on nostalgia forever, can they?
- Way too many plot setups with unsatisfying concludions.

I disagree with everything you just said except "leia poppins"

The visuals and art in these new trilogy are really cool though.

Also I hate Finn as a character, they made him go through a very similar arc as in TFA. Seems like he doesn’t learn anything. He’s still trying to run away? He did it twice in TFA.

Frankly I loved the Leia Poppins bit because it was absolute unabashed space opera. Fully.

there was something sorta cremastery about it

Moka otm

I had no idea what was up with Finn. Is he supposed to be an opportunistic rogue, like Del Toro? Was he trying to just run away in the escape pod? But then later was willing to die later in the most dramatic and selfless way possible? What happened in between to change his character so much (that wouldn't have been changed by Force Awakens?)

The only spoon feeding that really irked me as I watched it was when Luke walked out alone to face Kylo and Oscar Isaacs wa all, "look, it's Luke, walking out alone to face Kylo!" Penalty, unnecessary exposition!

Also nerdy complaint:

As cool as the lightspeed kamikaze visuals were it will forever ruin any future space battle. If you can do that amount of damage then why even bother with bombers or big guns? You can have droids doing a kamikaze attack and end with a fleet in seconds.

What stopped the empire from smashing tie fighters at lightspeed at the ‘out of reach’ rebel ship?

Well, ideally you don't want to blow up a giant ship to take out another giant ship, those things cost money.

Finn was trying to run away to ‘save’ Rey, even then I kind of hate his character arc since we’ve been through this before with him. It seems they don’t know what to do with him which is a shame because a defected empire pilot sounds cool in concept and should be more badass or useful.

Wasn't he the janitor, or am i thinking of Space Quest.

Way too many plot setups with unsatisfying concludions.

Uh this was the entire point of the movie

Yeah I know I know the point of the movie was ‘failure’ . But they should’ve had something different in the mix. When all the main stories share the same lesson it feels more like a tv episode from an 80’s cartoon instead of a movie. The missed a montage of C3PO at the end going “In today’s episode we learned about failure...”

What stopped the empire from smashing tie fighters at lightspeed at the ‘out of reach’ rebel ship?

Ackbar death is the most emotional moment in the movie

Idk i think watching the Resistance on the verge of collapse was an interesting angle. The other films show them teetering - this one shows them tied on a string.

Its steered the franchise away from repeating the arcs of the past

Xpost

Yeah well, Special Forces TIEs do have hyperdrive!

Also, again, if kamikazing is an option they can waste some money on suicide droids and hyperdrives. Cheaper than risking losing 40 or more in a dogfight.

Ackbar death is the most emotional moment in the movie

lol wut

I thought Leia Poppins was the emotional peak.

A Tie Fighter would hardly enact the damage that the Raddus did on a suicide run.

The onky reason the Resistance didn't do it earlier is cos its the last big ship they have

I gave Carrie F a lot of rope in this one. And she was excellent despite it. #gravitas while everyone is just acting like goofballs or confused

Yea she was given more to do than in TFA

Whenever people get whiny at the straight through-lines in these blockbusters and their inability to feel something about another dead purple-haired space noble, it always feels to me like the old service industry stories everyone has in which a customer orders something they don’t actually want any of and then instead of just sending it back there’s a big to-do until the kitchen is reduced to serving a burnt beef patty on a plate with ketchup