Star Wars 8 shit talk

my secret santa gift arrived, and they got me the last jedi visual dictionary and a Praetorian Guard funko pop.

I also bought myself a second pair of Star Wars boxers and Rey and Stormtrooper figurines yesterday.

I'm becoming a child again v quickly

Spoilers ahead

THINGS I HATED:
- Leia Poppins. That was just odd.
- Holdo (Laura Dern) becoming the sacrifice hero and we should feel emotional about it I guess but not enough development or familiarity to really care. Meanwhile Admiral Ackbar who has been around since forever dies without any fanfare.
- So Luke has been studying the force for like 30+ years but he hasn’t really read those books... they make him look like a fool more often than not. I can now see why Hammil hinted at him not being very happy with how they developed the character. He’s supposed to be the wisest, most powerful Jedi but he comes off as a whiny old man. We needed that Yoda cameo to tell this wise jedi that you learn from failure? That’s a lesson they give you when you’re 6.
- Way too much humor, sometimes it’s ok but I’m sick with this anti-intellectualism that Disney is pushing on the Marvel and SW films. They don’t allow any ‘negative’ feelings to go on for too long or invite any active thinking (don’t come at me with ‘they’re blockbusters, they’re supposed to be fun’, because the OT and even the prequels as terrible as they were, didn’t spoon-fed you as much.
- This pacing results in a marked lack of tension throughout their films. Even when 2/3 of the Rebels are wiped you don’t really feel like the stakes are high. On the enemies side, the empire suffers heavy losses including the very hyped Snoke and he dies and nothing seems to really change.
- I know it’s a franchise but once again Disney is following on familiar beats. The most emotional moments always involve familiar characters (eg: Luke and Leia reunion). They can’t bank on nostalgia forever, can they?
- Way too many plot setups with unsatisfying concludions.

I disagree with everything you just said except "leia poppins"

The visuals and art in these new trilogy are really cool though.

Also I hate Finn as a character, they made him go through a very similar arc as in TFA. Seems like he doesn’t learn anything. He’s still trying to run away? He did it twice in TFA.

Frankly I loved the Leia Poppins bit because it was absolute unabashed space opera. Fully.

there was something sorta cremastery about it

Moka otm

I had no idea what was up with Finn. Is he supposed to be an opportunistic rogue, like Del Toro? Was he trying to just run away in the escape pod? But then later was willing to die later in the most dramatic and selfless way possible? What happened in between to change his character so much (that wouldn't have been changed by Force Awakens?)

The only spoon feeding that really irked me as I watched it was when Luke walked out alone to face Kylo and Oscar Isaacs wa all, "look, it's Luke, walking out alone to face Kylo!" Penalty, unnecessary exposition!

Also nerdy complaint:

As cool as the lightspeed kamikaze visuals were it will forever ruin any future space battle. If you can do that amount of damage then why even bother with bombers or big guns? You can have droids doing a kamikaze attack and end with a fleet in seconds.

What stopped the empire from smashing tie fighters at lightspeed at the ‘out of reach’ rebel ship?

Well, ideally you don't want to blow up a giant ship to take out another giant ship, those things cost money.

Finn was trying to run away to ‘save’ Rey, even then I kind of hate his character arc since we’ve been through this before with him. It seems they don’t know what to do with him which is a shame because a defected empire pilot sounds cool in concept and should be more badass or useful.

Wasn't he the janitor, or am i thinking of Space Quest.

Way too many plot setups with unsatisfying concludions.

Uh this was the entire point of the movie

Yeah I know I know the point of the movie was ‘failure’ . But they should’ve had something different in the mix. When all the main stories share the same lesson it feels more like a tv episode from an 80’s cartoon instead of a movie. The missed a montage of C3PO at the end going “In today’s episode we learned about failure...”

What stopped the empire from smashing tie fighters at lightspeed at the ‘out of reach’ rebel ship?

Ackbar death is the most emotional moment in the movie

Idk i think watching the Resistance on the verge of collapse was an interesting angle. The other films show them teetering - this one shows them tied on a string.

Its steered the franchise away from repeating the arcs of the past

Xpost

Yeah well, Special Forces TIEs do have hyperdrive!

Also, again, if kamikazing is an option they can waste some money on suicide droids and hyperdrives. Cheaper than risking losing 40 or more in a dogfight.

Ackbar death is the most emotional moment in the movie

lol wut

I thought Leia Poppins was the emotional peak.

A Tie Fighter would hardly enact the damage that the Raddus did on a suicide run.

The onky reason the Resistance didn't do it earlier is cos its the last big ship they have

I gave Carrie F a lot of rope in this one. And she was excellent despite it. #gravitas while everyone is just acting like goofballs or confused

Yea she was given more to do than in TFA

Whenever people get whiny at the straight through-lines in these blockbusters and their inability to feel something about another dead purple-haired space noble, it always feels to me like the old service industry stories everyone has in which a customer orders something they don’t actually want any of and then instead of just sending it back there’s a big to-do until the kitchen is reduced to serving a burnt beef patty on a plate with ketchup

Okay I have a favorite tumblr post about TLJ pic.twitter.com/aV0h9maHm0

— not spoiler free sorry (@ldrinkh20) December 17, 2017

Finn’s main theme for both films so far is that he’s pretty terrible at everything. The Phasma fight and cannon run are the first times so far that he hasn’t lost his nerve or had his ass kicked.

wait you can't get a laura dern action figure (yet?)

Here is a bunch of admiral holdo biographical detail that might help http://www.newsweek.com/who-admiral-holdo-laura-derns-purple-haired-last-jedi-character-has-thrilling-750016

I think there’s an extent that you’re being set up to dislike Holdo - I did like the impression that Leia had a policy of promoting women over flyboys.

Haha, yes, and if Admiral Laura Dern had just trusted in Poe to tell him her plan, Finn and Rose wouldn't have had to do any of the things they did. That's not QUITE Ebert's "idiot plotting," but it's close.

I really can’t imagine from watching the film that Poe would be “Yes that sounds like a sedate lady plan, I am totally down with it”

this is sweet, wish I'd gotten more of this vibe from the actual movie

Rian Johnson on Kelly Marie Tran:#TheLastJedi pic.twitter.com/GxhWrjvLNx

— Sean Stangland (@SeanStanglandDH) December 15, 2017

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2017/12/star-wars-last-jedi-laura-dern-admiral-holdo-listen-to-women

Every story about KMT’s experience being part of this is ridiculously great. We should all be her

Saw it this mirning at an ungodlh hour. Loved it. Cried a LOT.
Force Awakens affected me more deeply, but I enjoyed this one a ton.

Loved that there was so much Leia in this, in a good pivotal way & not just a figurehead. and lots of Poe too! Laura Dern, galactic badass yay.

brb Working on a fanfic that Poe is Leia’s sidepiece. They had some nice chemistry! Also Leia gave a nice wistful smile as she watched him walking away later, Leia otm basically.

Luke and Rey’s story was great, and I loved the buildup between Rey and Kylo, it was really intense & well acted I thought.

Loved all the red!! Snoke’s lair was amazing. seeing the Imperial Guards in action was thrilling.

And the salt flats visually was so stunning, omg that was so good.

One minor dud note was Leia’s whole flying through space moment... I was in full cry and then almost started laughing like wtf is this shit

Rose was a great character, but that leads to my other small gripe: oh my GOD her and Finn were so useless on Planet Vegas. Find the Master Codebreaker. Get arrested. Escape and go back to find the codebreaker? No. fuck around freeing stupid bloody lamb-spacehorse-cow things instead. If BB8 hadnt shown up it would have been a wasted mission! Also yes I am cheesed at them mainly bc they blew the chance for me to see more Justin Theroux!!! looool I need a spinoff asap he looked like Mandrake the Magician:
http://www.biglittlebooks.com/graphic-sounds/mandrake_cvr.jpg

Mr Veg and I speculated about Luke spending time on his wardrobe & hair choices before his Jedi projection

manbun? hmm nope
ooh how about a crewcut? ugh.
perhaps just a mustache? whoa. no.
goatee? yikes.
silk robe? ooh gold! yeesh. too wizardy.
oooh lol what about zardoz... MY EYES NOOO

Jedis don’t wear hats

I just realized that’s a rule

Scene from SW IX, calling it, Rey’s reading the books, gapes, says to Finn, “did you know why no Jedi wears a hat?!?”

Anyway more KMT

https://www.rollingstone.com/movies/features/the-last-jedis-new-hope-meet-star-wars-breakout-kelly-marie-tran-w513599

also my other stray thought

rebel bombers are stupid, ridiculously inefficient deathtraps. why would you drop like a thousand bombs all in one place. stupid

ppl gonna complain about "chrome dome" in the franchise that gave us "move it, goldenrod," "come on, red" and "laugh it up fuzzball" jfc

Jedi hat: https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/b/ba/Luminarafull.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/180?cb=20080325183610

for shame tombot

in yr face tombot

trigger warning for buzzfeed content but v charming nonetheless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOhB5JyEkOQ

I weirdly didn't like this and I don't know why!

I felt, I guess, that the whole "rebels? empire? either way they're belligerents" thesis was really interesting and was hoping, really, for Rey and Kylo Ren to band together to create a more workable system of governance

But I guess it's Star WARS not Star PEACETIME

But strangely, that whole "good vs. evil" dichotomy being questioned kind of had a "midichlorians"-like effect on me. Like... wow! now I don't care. I thought this was an epic good vs. evil thing.

The devastation of the Rebel fleet was good and felt

Far too many deus ex machina in there, from the space battles to the Luke standoff

In general I feel like Star Wars is a very long meal and I'm eating leftovers at this point

This was my least favourite of the worthwhile Star Wars movies (5>4>R1>7>6>8)

Re upthread links, it's kind of fascinating how Vanity Fair has become the highbrow Star Wars fanzine.

It occurred to me this morning that this and Thor: Ragnarok end basically the same way, with the survivors of an overwhelming catastrophe escaping on a single spaceship.