Anticip--er, Dreading KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE (Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson, Matthew Vaughn, Mark Millar)

woo this is astonishing

a coke-addled, down-and-out elton john watching a guy get torn to shreds by robot dogs was probably my favourite part

i hated it, obv

the hero of this movie goes on a mission to finger a woman and the audience watch in awestruck horror as the camera follows his fingers down her torso and into her vagina, where his techno-condom-clad finger deposits a little tracking device

what the fuck

product placement for fox news and the sun ffs

It was horrific

A movie is either well or poorly made and all that except for this one which should see all involved hanged over the thames

taron egerton is such a weaselly little shit, how did anyone think he could carry a movie

this movie has keith allen in it fer cryin out loud

Yeah this film was weapons-grade hot garbage. I didnt see it by choice or pay to see it mind you but ugh. The worst part was seeing Pedro Pascal humiliate himself by being in this crap.

I dunno can one be so blithe about just throwing out a nomination for worst part with this one tbh

You'd want a panel of experts watching it again and making empirical arguments.

Gluck getting volunteers for that gig wha

well I know what I’m watching the next time I’m on an airplane

if you all hated it this much it really must be something

This is one of those times tb and look I know I've done you wrong in the past but this is utter

And unlike the first one fwiw

Good post that

This and Baby Driver are great if you dig "genre film"/Fantastic Fest-style exploitation stuff, idk

lol there is no way this is in any way as good as baby driver.

nah, it's not, but I enjoyed myself

the church sequence, Christ, I'm legit appalled a movie got made that contains a scene of that level of gleeful brutality visited on anonymous everypeople who aren't even ostensibly bad guys

How the fuck is this a franchise

Xp yo I love fantastic fest sploitotrash but idk this felt leagues removed from say Hobo With A Shotgun

i mean, the movie is so gleefully ott that i don't think of it as *that* diff than Hobo with the obvious exceptions of the budget and marketing and lack of a moral center

Baby driver was total shit but in a much less offensive and awful way that the kingsman sequel

Ya I guess I feel like proper exploito needs a paper thin moral center and that without it you've just got a bloodfeast that for me went unredeemed

The moral centre of these movies is particularly British successful/'it' crowd maybe

It's there but it's absolutely impenetrable to anyone human

Ya, to echo upthread that whole Glasto scene (and ugh, the fingerbang part no no no no) comes to mind.

The fingerbang scene isnt far off a logical follow-on from reward stranger anal in first movie

But lookit this is rly overanalysis because it's charmless dreck of a type that sits on the lowest rung alongside...imma say the Eiger sanction yes that bad

I’m never going to watch the Kick-Ass movies fwiw. It sounds like the Kingsman sequel is more in that vein?

Yep that's pretty accurate imo

Someday we'll both like a movie I promise

The Eiger Sanction was kind of fascinating as I recall. I watched it when I was probably 14 though

ITT Deems and Tombot agree on a movie

Nice

if you all hated it this much it really must be something

The sequel was so long they called back the "save the world/get butt sex" line twice.

i cant remember the last time i hated a movie this much. i didnt like the first one much at all, but this was egregiously horrible and stupid and annoying

The first one was passable (although way too violent imo).
I have just watched the sequel yesterday (yeah, I know, I was bored and wanted dumb sunday evening entertainment...).
What a bad bad movie. At some point I had enough and wanted to switch it off then thought I must be near the end so why not watch it all at that point... but I was actually only halfway through !

the hero of this movie goes on a mission to finger a woman and the audience watch in awestruck horror as the camera follows his fingers down her torso and into her vagina, where his techno-condom-clad finger deposits a little tracking device

what the fuck

― h.p. minecraft (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 December 2017 20:26 (eight months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

god i'd forgotten all about this

what an appalling, hateful movie

I think there was ONE moment that I found a little funny : when the robodog is about to kill Colin Firth and suddenly Elton John gets in the way on the sound of "Rocketman".
so that was around 5 nice secs in a 5h long movie...

yeah the "fingering" mission was wtf !

I haven't seen either of the movies but having read the work of Mark Millar, the only thing surprising about any of the WTF-ery ITT is that Hollywood keeps adapting the work of Mark Millar.

Or, rather, why Hollywood doesn't follow Marvel's template of loosely adapting the work of Mark Millar with all of the hardman edgelord content extracted.

i had the misfortune of seeing the sequel in the theater (got free tix & mr veg was keen to see it)

i dont think i’ve fully processed what i saw that evening even now. bad bad bad BAD NOPE BAD UGH

This movie watching experience is PTSD level horrible !

why Hollywood doesn't follow Marvel's template of loosely adapting the work of Mark Millar with all of the hardman edgelord content extracted.

since Wanted didn't have any hardman edgelord content in the film, it seems that Hampstead, not Hollywood, is the actual site of your ire.

So the Doral Trump Massacre video is literally a digitally adjusted version of the "Freebird" scene from Kingsman I.

:(