Real England

Pimlico 2nd paragraph on the front/homepage

"Charlie had a vision then to remove the stigma associated with the plumbing industry i.e plumbers with bad workmanship, who turn up late, rip off the customer, driving rusty old vans, not wearing uniform and arse's hanging out their trousers."

Not sure what's worse; the idea that workmen generally have arses hanging out or did, the use of the word arses on a homepage of a business or the misplaced apostrophe.

Not quite the leader of the free world calling some countries shitholes but not that far off it.

When I was doing my electrical qualifications, there used to be an asbestos awareness poster in the corridor that said something like: x amount of Plumbers die from Mesothelioma every year. And some leccy wag had defaced it with: and they were all shite.

The lecturer whose job it was to impress the importance of us having some level of scientific competence, like transposing power equations and ohm's law and all that shit. He used always say: if you are too thick to learn this stuff, you might as well fuck off to the mechanical side and be a plumber.

And then walk down to London with a cat in tow and become mayor.

http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/resources/images/3435089/

'ere we are puss, where the streets are paved wiv gold and the tradespeople walk around with their arses hangin out ov their traaaasers

amazing that this one joke account has been going for over a year

https://twitter.com/BestTraveI

It is a good joke though. Well, the Wigan Pier one made me laugh.

obviously cheddar man is good now, but, just seven years ago: "cheddar cave dwellers ate their dead and turned their skulls into cups"

Others went further: should you drink only the skull, or the whole head? The Belgian chemist Jean Baptiste Van Helmont believed that you should allow the brain matter to dissolve into the skull, which – nicely marinaded over time – then absorbed the body's vital powers. And if you balked at this, you could still use a kind of moss found on unburied skulls. Usually powdered, this was thrust into the nostrils of those suffering nosebleeds: Robert Boyle, among others, swore by it. Such treatments – part of a widespread tradition of "medicinal cannibalism" using flesh, fat, blood and bone – were so popular that come the 18th century, there were customs duties on skulls imported from the battlefields of Ireland.

I notice some dim fascists are horrified by cheddar, and others are like: it proves race is a social construct and racism is just made up etc...

"To us they can still seem a little strange,” said Bello. “I wouldn’t have my cereal in one.”

look, if it's clean what's the problem? hate a finicky eater

Yes, bung your oat drink in there, what's the problem?

moffe growing vpon the skull of a man

cheddar
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powered moss
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. gammon >:(

The Gammoning

pitch for an Altered Statesesque movie where psychedelic green moss turns civilized Cheddar-based dark-skinned scientist into gammon-hued throwback that attacks anybody that looks like a Remoaner

And talks with a Yorkshire accent.

Casting suggestions?

it's a shame Brian Glover is no longer with us. Warren Clarke?

He's no longer with us either :(

oh blimey I didn't know that!

the answer is leigh francis

(the list of actors born in yorkshire is counterintuitive: http://www.imdb.com/list/ls050172369/)

He could play both parts.

Patrick Stewart comes from a true Gammon nebula aka Mirfield. But he doesn't even cut it as bacon!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU-yXAXz4DI

I reckon Mark Addy could gammon up

pete postlethwaite would have been a shoo-in

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3d/Plucking_the_Red_and_White_Roses_in_the_Old_Temple_Gardens_%281908%29_by_Henry_Arthur_Payne.jpg/1200px-Plucking_the_Red_and_White_Roses_in_the_Old_Temple_Gardens_%281908%29_by_Henry_Arthur_Payne.jpg

A suspected drug dealer who hid a stash of Class A drugs inside his body when he was arrested has been in custody for three weeks because he refuses to go to the toilet, police have said.

https://news.sky.com/story/police-on-poo-watch-over-drug-suspects-loo-strike-11240262

3 flags flying high in a Featherstone garden this morning. Union Jack, Confederate Flag, Leeds United flag

charming

I wouldn't underestimate the anti-abolitionist pro-Trump demographic in Wakey and wouldn't be surprised if they were Leeds fans as well.

I've now realised garden number one was Union Jack + Leeds United, and garden number two had the Confederate

Although the slim possibility that it might actually have been the flag of Novorossiya has now come to mind

There is a someone in Mirfield with a Welsh flag hoisted up on 20ft flagpole. It doesn't look weather-beaten so they obv take good care of it. "brb I forgot to raise my flag this morning"

The Elland Road hierarchy has of course attempted to simplify all this confusion by combining all these elements in a single crest

https://static.dezeen.com/uploads/2018/01/leeds-united-graphic-design-dezeen-list-hero-822x463.jpgt

lol, their Football Lads Alliance/EDL inspired badge has made their commercial dept the laughing stock of the football league. They aren't quite all marching on together on this one.

It would be interesting to hear some people from regions of England explain what inspired them put up a confederate flag. Do you have strong opinions on the outcome of the American Civil war?

There was a car in the carpark at work last week with Confederate decals front and back and a little flag on the bonnet. Would love to know which halfwit it belongs to

I always assumed it was something to do with motorbikes. I remember a lad from school had a confederate flag in his back garden. The garden was always festooned with bikes and bike part, which his dad seemed to be permanently working on

Recently I stayed in an airbnb near Kendal, with a manc woman who was going on about how she had a system that beat the bookies at their own game and thats how she made her living. In the back garden there was an enormous Bob Marley flag and a trampoline

and two terrifying dogs "theyre just babies, they're excited to see you thats all"

Her son was top 3 in the world at some kind of online computer game, and may or may not now be playing it professionally (I couldn't quite tell)

"she had a system that beat the bookies at their own game"

it's a piece of piss, just don't back any losers and then you keep making profit.

I think the noughties was the peak era for BetFair DIY bookies, but the margins seem have have got much tighter for them these days. Or at least what I gleam from talking to "bookies types" I know.

My mum co-ran a bookies for most of the noughties, not a BetFair online one though. Think they sold up about 10 years ago now. She'd worked at a Coral for a few years before that. Funnily enough I've never been much of a gambler.

https://img.discogs.com/kRIonXdwAQWSu9jqF_aOpflO5cs=/fit-in/600x432/filters:strip_icc():format(jpeg):mode_rgb():quality(90)/discogs-images/R-10091924-1491465464-3246.jpeg.jpg

It is based on the Scottish flag so that's why Boaby and the guys used it, of course...

i'm sure there are folks who love rockabilly who would claim to be blithely unaware of any racial connotations to it, at least in the UK

Dukes of Hazzard fans

xxxp

I used to work as a betting shop manager years ago, not a good job to have when you an unhealthy predilection for gambling! I still have some friends in that line of work, they are always moaning about how doomed their employer is, and the constant robberies that seem to have got much more frequent in the last year.