US Politics January 2018: "You All Just Got A Lot Richer"

wow

I guess that's... good news?

tough rivers or water

As we all know, illegal immigrants can't cross water, which is why they're called "drybacks."

Parts will be, of necessity, see through

The emperor's new wall

*pizza chef winking and kissing fingers*

'see through'

...

'see through' ffs

If only there were a word that meant 'see through'.

Also, I wonder if he means that it will be just a transparent wall or like a literal forcefield. Maybe with laser turrets on top.

When you, a freshman, ask me, a sophomore, to explain Pink Floyd to you https://t.co/Fhc2RZGfSy

— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) January 18, 2018

I mean this is shit I thought about when I was playing with GI Joes at age 7 so it's presumably something he has involved opinions about.

The democrats should say ok “ok no wall unless it’s 100% see through” and see how that all shakes down.

i really do think it could benefit the Dems if they'd stop all the priggish finger-wagging and performative outrage and just go straight up troll. hire a handful of pro comic twitter wits (who would prob do it for next to free) and just drag the absolute fuck out of Trump's gang of chuds & entire GOP. And not just on social media, I'm talking about full-bore Dem Party messaging. if nothing else it could be entertaining and might boost morale.

I wonder if he means that it will be just a transparent wall or like a literal forcefield.

No, no, all Border Patrol agents will be replaced with mimes. They will patrol along the border, all the while making hand motions that indicate that there is an invisible wall present. SORTED. Hashtag MAGA.

(Indeed, you could even call it a MIME FIELD. You're welcome, America.)

...although watching most of these humorless nerds try and land a joke on the Sunday shows would be absolutely cringe-inducing

maybe Trump should start small, maybe by trying to catproof the backyard in Guantanamo or something.

I do think trolling would work! Fight fire with fire. They should say he wears diapers. They should say he picks his nose and eats it. They should accuse him of being a premature ejaculator who could never get it up for a porn star. He would take the bait. Every ... single ... time.

Anyway, surprised that, having learned (maybe?) the definition of a "clean" bill, that Idiot has not demanded a clean vote on the wall first, before anything else.

Just put up some signs that say "Force Field Ahead. Trespassers may fall into Hot Lava."

Fight fire with fire. They should say he wears diapers. They should say he picks his nose and eats it. They should accuse him of being a premature ejaculator who could never get it up for a porn star. He would take the bait. Every ... single ... time.

^yup.

“There’s been an evolutionary process that this president has gone through,” Kelly said.

arrested somewhere in homo habilis

Transparent is that TV show with the guy who thinks he's a lady iirc.

if Dems started claiming the President wears diapers he would 100% drop his pants on national TV. this is a win/win

or a win/win/lose

speaking of, Daddy Huckabee is at it again

More "breaking wind" from CNN! WH Press Corps to submit to voluntary brain scans to prove THEY aren't demented. To insure accuracy of brain scan, tests will be administered by rectal probe.

— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) January 17, 2018

dude should seriously consider hiring Dan Nainan to help him write a few jokes

Sounds like Huckabee went to the mall this weekend and was really impressed by the comedy t-shirts at Spencers Gifts

ok first - it's ensure, not insure. second, isn't he basically saying that everyone in the white house has their head up their asses?

lol, nvm, you got me huckster--it's the press corps, not the WH staff!

lol reporters r dumb (my son murders animals)

q][President Donald Trump will speak at Friday’s March for Life, becoming the first sitting president to address the annual anti-abortion gathering by satellite in its 45-year history.

The announcement, made on Wednesday by the White House, caps a stunning evolution for Trump, who once declared himself “pro-choice in every respect.” A year into his first term as president, anti-abortion groups are praising his record as one of the most supportive of their cause in recent memory.

Trump has successfully cemented his reputation among Christian conservatives even as headlines chronicle new details about past affairs and sexual dalliances, including with an adult-film actress. The president spends Sunday mornings on the golf course instead of in church, and freely employs a vocabulary that’s more Lenny Bruce than Father Flanagan.

For the anti-abortion movement, that’s all forgivable.[/

reminder: Christian conservatives are full of shit

As we all know, illegal immigrants can't cross water, which is why they're called "drybacks."

― godzillas in the mist (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, January 18, 2018 4:02 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fp duly given but could we not use / allude to racist slurs like this?

Republicans are about to shut down the federal government so of course Grassley is jamming through a bunch of terrible judicial nominees for a vote today

— Jessica Mason Pieklo (@Hegemommy) January 18, 2018

here we go

seconding Euler

poll: will the federal employees who get furloughed ever return to work again

drain the swamp!

Euler, Casino: sorry, got carried away with finding mockable stuff in the presitweet. Intention was to mock racist attitudes/language (not embody or amplify them), but will take greater care in future. Thanks.

Appreciate it, YMP.

Quiet news but

http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/17/politics/mueller-papadopoulos/index.html

Basically says that as long as neither Papadopoulos nor Flynn have any sort of sentencing date planned, things are active investigation-wise.

(Which may sound obvious, but it's the most public counter to Cobb etc going "Oh it's wrapping up." It isn't.)

Speaker Paul D. Ryan of Wisconsin said on Wednesday that it would be “unconscionable” for Democrats to oppose funding for the Children’s Health Insurance Program with a “no” vote on the short-term spending bill.

paul ryan, a man with a conscience who really cares about the health of children, so much so that he repeatedly pushed for an appeal of obamacare that included drastic cuts to CHIP

The announcement, made on Wednesday by the White House, caps a stunning evolution for Trump

christ what a fucking baby

https://www.arktimes.com/ArkansasBlog/archives/2018/01/18/activists-say-tom-cotton-has-a-do-not-call-or-write-list-for-some-constituents

This letter is immediate notification that all communication must cease and desist immediately with all offices of US Senator Tom Cotton.

All other contact will be deemed harassment and will be reported to the United States Capitol Police.

The Office of US Senator Tom Cotton.

government of the people, by the people, for the people, huh

doesn't cotton to communication

Guess we're about done even pretending to have a representative government at this point, huh.

Sen. Snowflake

lmao @ cotton that's the funniest shit i've ever seen

worst human currently serving in US Senate? maybe. McConnell is tough competition tho

Sorry to hard on this, but" Honestly there are so many layers of dishonesty and so much rage-inducing demagogic hooey in the "guys, I didn't mean an actual WALL, sheesh!" tweet that I can't help thinking about them.

1. Yes, motherfucker, you most certainly did mean a real physical coast-to-coast wall (paid for by Mexico) when you were campagining primarily on that issue. The quotes will be easy to find.

2. Yes, motherfucker, your racist-as-fuck voter base most certainly did understand you to mean it that way, and that was part of what had them cheering you along so lustily. The quotes will be easy to find.

3. News flash: since its inception, the border has consisted of opaque walls in some places, "see through" walls in other places, and nothing in still other places. So the brilliant innovation being proposed here is... talking more toughly. And rilly rilly meaning it this time.

4. Now that DT has been publicly called "uninformed," Mr. Big-Brain is desperate to not have people think he's an idiot. Hence the message "it was never intended to be a non-see-through wall, and OBVIOUSLY not where there's a mountain or something, DUH."

5. You just know Trump's racist-af supporters will experience sudden, extremely convenient, collective amnesia about how full-throatedly they cheered "Build the Wall! Who's gonna pay for it? Mexico!". This is depressing but not surprising.

6. The smarter "border-security hawks" may now come out to say that OF COURSE they didn't mean a real wall, _duh_. EVERYBODY knows that there are some places wherre the topography makes a wall impractical. EVERYBODY knows that you can use sensors and drones and and and. Which was basically the position of the last several administrations. So there's really nothing new proposed, apart from Tough Talk.

7. Pro-wall-nut Trump supporters can backpedal. They only meant they were finally glad to get a REAL commitment to border security from a president who's a REAL American patriot (wink wink, know what I mean).

8. Here's the thing, though (and it is what I was trying to get at in my poorly-thought-out post upthread): aren't many border crossings currently taking place in wastelands, through water, and in mountains? Surely if border-security hawks truly meant what they say, they wouldn't let Trump weasel out with "water" as an impediment. Could it be that maybe "border security" is just hypocritical proxy for racist bullshit? Saints forfend.

9. So Trump's tweet is both a way to lazily sell out his base (without them noticing or caring) and a get-out-of-rhetorical-jail-free card. He's set the bar so low that even he can clear it. With $20 worth of chain-link, he could declare a "total wall" victory tomorrow, and basically no one on the right would call him on it.

i think we're getting a shutdown

on the military aspect of a govt shutdown: a good number of DOD employees WOULD be furloughed. about 50% of the DOD would be furloughed (according to contingency plans released in Sept 2015). in comparison, during the last shutdown scare about 1% of State Dept. employees were designated for furlough. so it's not accurate to say that the military is "unaffected" by a shutdown. of course, the 50% that would be furloughed wouldn't be the soldiers or overseas operations, it would be the more civilian-oriented jobs in the states who get categorized as "inessential" (like about 95% of EPA employees, iirc).

just throwing that out there in case you get into a shutdown argument with your terrible uncle. the military will be affected - just not the "military" that everyone thinks of