Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2018

all told the idea of remaking death wish at the current moment in time is the most risibly cynical right-wing money-maker scheme imaginable so i think that's gotta be my vote.

they should remake Invasion USA it is basically a illegals-and-terrorist-invade-america fever dream

ocean 8 has got a pretty solid cast which counts for something. i dunno, i feel like come june when the choices are that versus Solo, Deadpool 2, Jurassic World 2, and Avengers 3, the idea of a nice fun team heist movie with no super powers or blue lasers or volcanoes will seem mighty appealing.

So Suspiria is not on this list because it actually seems promising?

the first strangers made me unhappy and uncomfortable but it's a genre i don't like generally so i can't really judge whether it was good or not. seems a weird thing to make a sequel to ten years later. who cares?

unfortunately: me, i will watch basically any horror sequel. "unhappy and uncomfortable" is a great description of the vibe the first strangers gave off, not sure how a sequel can even expand or improve on the very narrow but effective vision of the first one. but i'll see it lol

just reading that list of titles is extremely depressing

i'm still baffled that the venom movie is getting made, not least because it stars tom hardy

― grim-n-gritty hooty reboot (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 19 January 2018 11:53

And Michelle Williams!

Robin Hood could be good if they had the guts to bring on the feyness.

the reason the strangers sequel is coming out a decade after the first is it was in and out of development for soooo long. iirc it was written in 2011 and they only filmed the thing last year

Super troopers 2 will scorch the tired crust of cynicism from the zeitgeist

So Suspiria is not on this list because it actually seems promising?

I didn't see it on the Wiki list I was drawing from, but all that means is that a) there isn't a release date locked down for it yet, or b) I just overlooked it.

Solo: An XXX Star Wars Story

I overlooked Death Wish on this list. that woulda been my #1 with a bullet. I want to do serious harm to Eli Roth rn

when does that Universal Frankenstein/Dracula series get started? i will be rooting for the Apocalypse to save us.

Already begun with the mummy flick last year innit

They tried to start it (for a second time) with The Mummy, but that flopped and it seems like they don't have a plan now.

https://io9.gizmodo.com/universals-shared-monster-movie-universe-has-been-put-o-1820249731

O brave new world!

I was kinda hopoing it'd succeed so that we'd get tons of new unneeded universes like the DuckTales Expanded Universe

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Duck_universe

"unneeded"

why is crocodile dundee not on this list

Is there a new one? Didn't see it on the Wiki list.

Probably should have added an "Other (Specify)" option, especially since there will inevitably be things that come out during the year that haven't been announced/given released dates yet. I'll remember that for next year.

Voting either Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again or A Star Is Born (with Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper) because they're the only two that look like they'll have some of that old school Razzie mojo.

http://people.com/movies/danny-mcbride-is-crocodile-dundees-son-in-exclusive-first-look-at-mysterious-project/

oh look he is wearing the bottom of the barrel

I kinda wish every reboot were so openly contemptuous towards both the source material and the audience.

Pee-Wee's Bigger Adventure: Yeah, Fuck You (starring Danny McBride as Pee-Wee's son, Wee-Wee)

Srsly fuck the source material if the source material is crocodile dundee I mean cmon

^^^^ bingo

Stoked for Nolan's Mary Poppins Begins

xpost No no, I agree that the contempt is well-deserved in this case.

Voting Overboard, because the whole premise is rapey, no confidence they'll sort it out.

Danny McBride is the fucking worst.

I have a fondness for overboard due to a girl falling asleep on my shoulder during it once.

That earns it the one star out of ten.

voted jurassic world 2. JW is the worst movie i've seen in theaters within the last few years, and the trailer for this one shows even less promise

I didn't mind it, it really delivered exactly as promised tbh

I want to leave earth pic.twitter.com/LUYevASbVk

— Sam Sanders (@DreamSong77) January 21, 2018

Shouldn't it be Jurassic World 2: Jurassic Park 5

When my daughter, and for that matter my wife, learned there would be a Mamma Mia sequel, they each wondered how they can do that when they used up all the top tier ABBA songs in the first movie. I get it, but is it really called Here We Go Again?

I first read it as Mamma Mia: Here I Go Again and imagined a Whitesnake soundtrack.

The best that can be said about Danny McBride is that he wasn't the absolute worst thing in the most recent Alien movie

The Tea Is Leaving, but the Interruption Is Staying Right Here: Phantom Thread II.

The Hobbit part iv (fuck Peter Jackson btw)

Au Hasard Balthazar II: Kicking Ass

No Retreat, No Surrender 3: Alright, Maybe Surrender

I guess 4, a third already exists (lol)

Voted Avengers:Infinity War - That storyline in the comics is crazy enough and Thanos just is not going to translate to the big screen at all. The last few Marvel Universe movies were just CGI puke and jump cuts and battles that made little sense - this will keep the trend.

I don't think that's true at all (the last sentence). at least not with Civil War or Guardians 2 (Ragnarok I was lukewarm on).

Please come back and let us know if your opinion changes after you've actually watched the last few MCU movies, BlackIronPrison.

Guardians two awful
Ragnarok brilliant

My son is really excited about Jurassic World 2. First one was dumb but entertaining, it'll probably be ok.

I'm probably going to end up seeing most of the marvel movies, most of the animated movies and Solo. Mostly because I have kids.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

why is crocodile dundee not on this list

― Arnold Schoenberg Steals (rushomancy), Saturday, January 20, 2018 8:12 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so apparently it turned out to be a fake sequel/remake/franchise flick, and the hype (such as it was) was just to rope people in for a twist super bowl fake trailer where it turns out at the end that the whole thing is an ad for australian tourism. seems like a rather expensive and elaborate zing when they could have just... run an ad for australian tourism during the super bowl. whatever anyway, the poll is unblemished though so that's cool.