OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

i love that he quoted the skit from reasonable doubt as jay-z lyrics

Fuckin' Magnets, how do they work?

not so much music writing as racist concern trolling tbf

lmao "myron magnet"

from the creative team that brought you "geir hongro"

the corruption and oppression of their kleptocratic governments that keep the proles in poverty, ignorance, and fear; their religions that teach violence or passive resignation; and their cultures that oppress women, devalue learning, promote superstition

but enough about america,

👌

that photo is perfect not-alt right "I am upholding civilization against the barbarian darkness" fantasy

Looks like Chris Cantwell's attorney

to whom do i write a sharply worded letter about rescinding mr magnet's national humanities medal

Too late, it'll be pretty firmly stuck to him

shoulda checked the couch before he sat down

the only magnet we acknowledge here is penelope magnet

some of these ageing aesthetes are better off just staying safely inside their posh wanking pits, and refraining from saying anything until the death. Then we all win.

posh wanking pits

wait are these bad now?

nowt wrong with 'em!

But people like Sir Roger Scrotum should stay inside them.

someone on twitter said he looks like Dr Snuggles & now I cant unsee it

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/-7_WRSEwuk0/hqdefault.jpg

t/s friend of the animal world vs white supremacist who uses big words

This kind of thing not too unusual these days but published by the CBC, who have done tons of reporting on the story, possibly even breaking it in the first place?

http://www.cbc.ca/news/opinion/hedley-opinion-1.4586160

o_O

I've never heard of that band. I guess I should be glad to hear that there are bands I've never heard of that people are tattoo-level devoted to. There are more bands than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio.

can con

come on this guy seems supercool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_Dmilr2T10

I think I now have a new least-favorite band/song/video of all time.

Froot Loops = ruint

being male = ruint

it was apparently sparked by the author having a picture of her tattoo run with a story on the assault

:(

worst weird pointless npr write up of an absolutely nonsensical youtube video made by a maniac about how kanye west albums have some imaginary analog to situations from disgraced tv show 'the office', ever?

https://www.npr.org/sections/allsongs/2018/03/23/596443553/are-kanye-west-and-michael-scott-from-the-office-the-same-person-yes

I thought that Kanye/The Office thing was a (really bad) take off of the "Every Radiohead album described with Peep Show" format

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbSy5Z6m3u4

journalism in the era of legalization

fyc: https://www.stereogum.com/1988829/on-virtue-julian-casablancas-scorches-the-strokes-legacy-and-leaps-into-the-voidz/franchises/sounding-board/

i didn't finish it but i can't see it getting much better after the first 100 paragraphs tbh

I was gonna say, jfc no one is ever finishing that

10,000+ words!

(not unlike Tyranny in that sense) xp

i'm sure the reason there are this many paragraphs is bc the space between each resembles the line of coke he did before writing it

tbh this did succeed in getting me to check out the new songs (much easier than trying tog et through any of this) and they're not bad, really

That was fucking painful to read - and no, I didn't finish it. I tried to read it, got a few paragraphs in, scrolled down, saw the writer had written "I SOUND LIKE A DICK", agreed with the writer on that point and then closed it.

do the new songs take less time to listen to than finishing the first two grafs of this opus?

Speaking of verb tenses . . .

10,000 words of self-clowning

"a no-hope writer who couldn’t get into a half-decent MFA program"

i'm trying to imagine what this article would look like if michael nelson (ever considered a pseudonym, michael?) had gotten into a decent mfa program.

the fact that stereogum commenters like his writing is further proof that stereogum commenters have the worst taste

Michael Nelson
Haha yeah I had literally a whole section here about my fave Jules verse ever, which is in "Electricityscape." I went on for a bit about that. But I had to cut it, sadly, because this piece was running on the semi-longer side. I'm stoked you caught that, tho!

"semi-longer"

this was a real solid lol:

i'm sure the reason there are this many paragraphs is bc the space between each resembles the line of coke he did before writing it

― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Wednesday, March 28, 2018 12:28 PM (three hours ago)

I know this reads like … I mean it reads like bad writing, honestly, but it’s a real thing that really happened, I swear; it’s just that I don’t have better words.

The self-awareness makes it even more abysmal somehow.

it reads like bad writing

America's sudden favorite rapper, Cardi B, has built her body for optimal viewing at medium-to-long-distance range. This engineering foresight helps explain why, before she began making music history (a randomly chosen milestone from her tennis bracelet of success: she is the first rapper to have her first three Billboard Hot 100 entries in the Top 10 simultaneously), she was not just a successful stripper but a wildly successful one. The hills and slopes of her body are so captivating that you might not even notice the delicate beauty of her countenance until it's staring at you head-on from across a dimly lit restaurant booth while you wait to discover what it is that Cardi loves.

if you're gonna objectify, go big