ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

that was a gag in the last ep of high maintenance... they kept the placenta in the medicine cabinet for some reason?

In reference to the thread title, my daughter was running around the house in her underwear today (which, we have a guideline about putting clothes on if you're up and about in the house), so I showed her this State sketch and after repeat viewings she is quoting it and giggling like a maniac.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x32ja7v

huh so turns out my 3 year old is a demon. I have no idea how I'm going to deal with him and a newborn by myself (have had family helping so far and it's still been tough)

yeah everyone's always like "oh having a kid is tough" but real heads know that #2, at least when #1 is still pretty small, is a whole other level

I don't understand how having just a baby was so hard last time :p
if I was just dealing with another newborn now it'd be fine!
3 yr old had fun day out yesterday, we made a treasure hunt for him this morning with a present at the end, and now he's been screaming for about an hour.

if it makes you feel any better, #3 was much easier than either #2 or #1

there will not be a #3 :)
dunno how anyone does it!

#2 only really sleeps when held at the moment...

Second time you're a lot more chilled though. First time is all "OMG there's some blood, quick let's get down A&E" whereas by the time #2 comes along, unless an arm is actually hanging off it's just "Whatever, just have some Calpol".

Yeah it's like the old "sanitize the pacifier" > "rinse the pacifier" > "let the dog lick the pacifier" progression.

i remember considering buying a very expensive "bottle steriliser" lol

When I was a tacker I remember my mother boiling the bottles to sterlize them - they were plastic ones too. Once she did this, then we went over the road to chat to the neighbours, she completely forgot the stove and we came back to a house full of fragrant melted plastic smoke.

lol

well this morning the 3-y-o was kissing the baby's foot and telling him 'you'll always have a friend' *blub*

<3

awww

Awww.

Wait til the baby starts nicking the older one's toys in a year or two.

Heh, Dex n Mo are often all over each other hugging when we're walking round the shops, in this staggery silly kids way, and B will bellow "STOP LOVING YOUR BROTHER!" :D

He'll miss it when theyre beating each other up at 16 I suppose.

Thank Christ Casper sleeps.

98thcentile for height and weight. I’m 5,8” at a push and Em is 5’3” maybe. Wtf

Nora’s been amazingly good with him by and large.

3-year-old is sweet to baby but has been horrendous otherwise. HV said it's the equivalent of your partner coming home with another woman/man so there's that. He better get over it sharpish though.
Baby is a ray of sunshine compared to first time round. Growing out of clothes because he's long and leggy!

Casper’s in 3-6 months already. He’s only 7 and s half weeks!

Nora was pretty foul to me about once s day for the first month. Em escaped- I think she’s too precious a resource to risk.

2-month-ish fistbump...

Mr oldest is 13 and heading for that obstreperous teen phase rapidly, ugh. The other day he demanded his dad draw his bath for him because he straight up could not be bothered to turn on 2 effing taps himself. I mean... wtf. Its that pushing boundaries thing, right?

sounds like my threenager... I'm dreading the actual teen years!

Nick do you have this ridiculous 'witching hour' I.e. any length of time between 6pm and midnight where an otherwise sunny baby grizzles and cries until you find the exact secret combination of feeding/walking him round the house/ swing chair/ sleepyhead/ dummy/ no dummy/ try feeding again until it's 11pm and he can finally go to sleep? it's like 3 year old goes to bed and hands over the baton to the baby...

I'm pretty chilled about it as I know it doesn't last... Also first time round we had terrible screaming all night every night, so I'm wildly grateful that it's not that. But sometimes I just want to watch Homeland in peace...

Oh god yes

We solve it by going to bed at 9:30...

That's when he yells if you put him down!

Oh Casper sleeps at that point. Thank god.

He likes to watch Breaking Bad sometimes too.

I'm about to go spend £40 on a wholesome family day out which I am 95% sure will end in tears and tantrums and cafe queues but we just NEED to get him out of the house

Having just spent 25 minutes getting a bandaid off a 5yo, the world contains no terrors for me.

"OK, sit down, I'm going to slowly remove this-- Whoa, what's THAT?!?!"

Works every time, and the bandaid is off in less than 2 seconds.

There seemed to be at least 8 arms blocking any such attempt, sadly.

My daughter's friend came over to play after school today. They were playing downstairs, and at one point he excused himself to the bathroom. I had to send him back in when my ears did not detect the sounds of flushing or handwashing. They then went upstairs to watch TV. I heard him excuse himself to the upstairs bathroom, and this time didn't think much of it.

I eventually had to use the downstairs restroom myself. I went in and sat down on the seat. RIGHT INTO HIS PISS THAT HE LEFT ALL OVER IT! Cleaned the seat and myself up, then went to check the upstairs bathroom. No pee on seat, but a big unflushed poop with no toilet paper in the bowl.

Later, my daughter had diarrhea and ended up crapping her pants. She's had fecal impaction for the past few days, so this has been a recurring side effect.

That was quiet an hour.

quite

Ugh Bs kids never flush the damn toilet, cos they were brought up with the stupid "if its yellow let it mellow" thinking, but dammit I will not live in a house with 3 men whose piss stinks, sorry. FLUSH THE DAMN TOILET

my kid (almost 4) just slipped off the couch and said 'i don't have any gravity.' then she looked at me seriously and said 'the gravity is all in your mouth' and exhaled.

lol

when my brother was about 3 he had a friend come over to play. The kid used the bathroom & afterwards Mum discovered not only had he peed on the toilet but all over the *walls* and the floor O_o

Oh god chickenpox

D:

had a blissful 0.5 seconds this evening when I'd closed the bedroom door having put the 3-year-old to bed and the baby was asleep in the crib.
the possibilities! I could have a sit-down!

then the drop - simultaneous baby crying and kid yelling 'mummy I need a wee and a poo'

;_;

Had a vasectomy. Anyone else done the same?

Had it done Friday morning circa 9am. Spent the rest of the day watching films home alone, but yesterday actually did a lot of (very slow, gentle) walking, including going into a bike shop to buy N a new bike, where, amazingly, I bumped into the dr who'd performed the vasectomy at the counter. He was impressed I was up and about.

48 hours post surgery and my scrotum is pretty much back to normal size, I've not had painkillers since yesterday lunchtime. One gentle accidental headbut in my nethers by N aside, I've had no pain - aware that something happened but it doesn't hurt.

In actual kid news the last 24 hours has seen Casper roll from back to front and Nora learn to ride a pedal bike.

Had a vasectomy. Got an infected testicle. Walked like an agonised cowboy for 2 weeks.

One of the few upsides to unexplained infertility is not having to think about a vasectomy

I was snipped shortly after kid 2. It was fast and easy and I have really found it liberating. A whole area of anxiety and expense and hassle just... gone.