marketing of masculinity

we die like real men: cursing our pea brained masculine stupidity as our chest cavity fills with the blood from our ruptured aorta.

isn't the german version meant to be an ironical commentary on the shittiness of the car?

of course the american version has to distort it into something 100% earnest and over the top macho

^^ gets it

https://i.imgur.com/JC4yAv1.jpg

I can make my own thank you very much

I have to put this somewhere and although it's not exactly right for the thread I don't know where else to put it.

http://i66.tinypic.com/300r9f5.jpg

https://btbgrooming.co.uk/

after showering, apply this gel to your BALLS

New GOLD BOND® Ultimate Men’s Essentials Body Powder Spray with Nightfall scent absorbs odor and wetness with no mess. It keeps a man’s skin cool and refreshed. All with a scent that’s fresh and distinctly masculine. Just push the button and aim it wherever you want to be irresistible.

Uses
Directions
Ingredients
Warnings

GOLD BOND® Ultimate Men’s Essentials Body Powder Spray with Nightfall scent provides all over odor and wetness control plus the refreshing scent of a body deodorant spray. And it’s great to use before work or physical activity, right after showering to stay cool, or before heading out for the night.

Product Highlights:

Absorbing for moisture and odor control
Cooling sensation
Energizing and seductive Nightfall scent

energizing and seductive

note that Shaq is in the commercial for this product

you had me at 'provides all over odor and wetness'

dermatologically testes

dry balls

ha

that's hilarious

lol amazing use of capitalization

That's the best part.

BALLS

after Excelsioring, apply this zing to your LOLZ

omg

xp kudos

*frowns*

https://68.media.tumblr.com/41efed5d93df4f945abaa0763158f4f4/tumblr_p751r8F3oE1w6v1v3o1_1280.jpg

Reminds of a subreddit called 'badwomensanatomy'. Edifying stuff.

I've seen that several times and it never stops making me lol

Reminds me of the time i tried to shave with a women’s razor

What alloy do they use in women's razors again? Femininium? Ovularium? I used those damn things once and totally got passed over for a promotion the next day.

Yeah, I shaved by balls with one once and I swear they got smaller!

Bespoke Post — themed boxes for guys who give a damn

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--npqP5ran--/c_scale,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/ro7enqnwt0mmudxr2heh.png

The perfect drink. A well-kept pad. Jet-setting in style. We'll help you get there. No gimmicks, no fees, no surprises – just great goods, delivered monthly.

tbf those are some manly fuckin' measuring spoons

Headphones the color of the chair father drank himself to death in, an ax to destroy the yard tree.

what is that little loop thing between the shaving brush and the headphones

Keyring? Artisanal IUD?

I don’t know. I’m also wondering what the hand axe is for

I guess it’s for shaving, because I sure as hell wouldn’t use the little non-wooden, non-leather razor down there in the left corner

I've actually owned a lovely hatchet for most of my life, but it is basically useless. Small pieces of wood are best cut with a bypass lopper (or just bent with hands); larger ones with a handsaw; largest ones need a powered reciprocating saw or chainsaw. There is no size of stick for which a hatchet is the right tool.

Artisanal IUD?

lol!

Isn't the little loop a money clip? Not to say dudes don't bake, but those measuring spoons seem out of place. Unless for drugs or something.

is it me or is that aesthetic already feeling outdated? this thread is eight years old and that HAND HEWN AXE, BRASS RAZOR thing feels stale

it does kind of feel dated but it is still everywhere

it was probably almost a decade ago when my friends had to run to the hardware store for something related to a backyard grilling part we were having and one bought a hatchet to be funny. we were making fun of that aesthetic then, and somehow it's still rolling?

there is, I swear to god, a store locally that has all this man stuff for sale, and they have a guy who artisanly restores old axes with a grinder and sharpener

so what you're saying is that making fun of this aesthetic is outdated and stale

that, too

we might be stuck with it, it's like all my peers who locked their tastes in back in 1999 and everything that was cool then will forever be cool

there are people who are locked into being rustic axe man. gonna be buying new and refurbished rustic axes until they die

they should be sharpening their old rustic axes, ideally with an axe stone while standing in the woods with no shirt

everything i learned about masculinity i learned from God of War on PS4, during the last week

https://i.imgur.com/KlMaKRK.jpg

It's like the 1890s has taken a permanent spot at the nostalgia table for manly shaving goods and hatchets, just like the 1950s won't let go of theme diners.

gonna be buying new and refurbished rustic axes until they die
LOL

long time ago i made this wall hanging thing with an ax and my roommate at the time thought i was nuts. i guess i sort of was. i painted the handle bright red.

http://cdn.hellosubscription.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/march-2016-bespoke-post-selections-coupon-98820.png

Liftoff

Get on, drink up, and tune out.

When you’re packing for a trip, staying organized and prepared will let you enjoy the sailing, skiing, or sun much more. Long train and plane rides are easy when you’ve got everything you need in one place. They’re also a great time to do some trip planning instead of spending your time digging around through your suitcase for headphones that you “could swear I have in here somewhere.”

This box has customizations – and you can upgrade to a premium leather version!

Polished

Keep yourself in top shape, from your head to your wingtips.

Shining up your shoes to add a little spring to your step goes back to the 18th and 19th centuries. It became a ritual that many men passed down to their sons as a rite of passage. When your shoes are shined up, it shows that you take care of yourself, right down to the smallest details. Line of Trade worked with an Italian shoe-care master to put together everything you need in a shoe shine kit, from the polish to the buffing brushes. It’s time to add yourself to a long line of stylish guys with great looking kicks.

Brew

You know what’s even better than drinking beer? Drinking beer that you brewed yourself.

All you need is a pot, a stove, a few weeks worth of patience, and one of these custom-made one-gallon homebrew kits. The one-gallon size is perfect for learning the ropes, since it’s small enough that you don’t need any complicated setups or too much time, so it’s especially user-friendly. All you need to worry about is what to sip on until your batch is done.

Canteen

Be the envy of the break room.

From opening your brown bag in elementary school to find some fruit snacks (and possibly an embarrassing note from mom), to using that hour for a midday stroll between your meetings, lunch has always been a welcomed break. Now that you’ve grown up a bit, swap the paper for a waxed canvas and leather bag. While you’re at it, show off your low carbon footprint with reusable stainless steel boxes and top it all off with your chef-quality condiments.

Puffin got it. Wtf.

https://i.imgur.com/tzC96C0.jpg

hmm, that's one use for it, i guess. i was thinking it could be used to improve the presentation of manly pubes - squeeze up a lock of pubes apart from the others, as if to say "there is an abundance of pubes, here is but a sample"

but could be used for keys as well