Your Retirement Savings

my retirement plan is death

something to look forward to

My current job has a pension scheme so I assume by now it's over $1000. Banking on an early death tbh

a big tent and a one-way ticket to Uzbekistan should do me

pretty sure all tickets to uzbekistan are one-way iirc

Same as Ed, about 10% goes into a lol retiring fund. Thousands there I have a way better destination for rn tbh

Throughout the years of my working like I’ve done 10-12% or several years of nothing when I was too dumb to sign up for a 401k in my early jobs. For my new job I started last year I upped my savings per payday to 16%. 38 years old, seems prudent?

and get you showing off about buying a big tent, you’re clearly better-prepared for retirement than i am

I really need to get around to consolidating the last few retirement accounts from old jobs into my federal TSP

Defined benefit scheme so no cash value but it's a good un, presuming I don't get promoted and work til 66 I think it would be valued at that stage at something over a million

Actuarially speaking im quarter paid up so 250k I guess

I'm public sector btw but cant afford a house tbf

Yeah, my retirement account is doing pretty well through no fault of my own. Paycheck to paycheck I'm tripping over my own dick.

I’ve been contributing 10 to 15% of each paycheck for the last ten years to all stock funds. Company matches to a certain point and I’m full vested

Much like deems, defined benefit, public sector, fully vested, etc. I’d hit 40 years service when I’m 63, another 16 years off, and if I fully cashed out then and there it would approach a million at current levels but that would also remove my medical insurance payments so no thanks — will stick with monthly payouts instead whenever I do retire.

I have no idea. Nowhere near enough. Will be very disappointed if my plan to die on the job falls through.

The last time I checked my account at Fidelity, it was gratifyingly robust. Then the market gyrations hit.

I've been doing well with plugging 10% of my salary into a 401k for the past decade+. Don't yet know how any savings I've established is going to look once I send my son to college in a few years.

Fully vested public sector employee, bolstered by Roth IRAs and my own savings.

I've considered a Roth because why not. (Also suits my temper to just have the taxes paid already.) There's some supplementary money from the UC I have invested in a 401-ish setup that I treat rather casually; among other plans the UC offers a typical stocks/bonds mix that grows more conservative with time so it's sitting in that for the most part, and it'll tick over. My separate personal savings is for emergencies or some possible big purchase down the road, though with housing being what it is here, that's kinda unlikely.

suicide I guess?

I sure hope plasma clinics still exist by the time I'm in my sixties.

I have low risk Roth IRAs (a redundant phrase, I guess), so the fluctuations of the market don't significantly affect it. Obviously it's done better in the last 15 months but not substantially so.

I do think about it. Basically I have great credit, I really try to maintain that, I think when I get old I will apply for shit loads of credit cards....legally emancipate my daughter, then filter whatever I can give to her in cash form, then sell her the house for $1 while I continue to live there. Then just use one credit card to keep paying the other minimum payments and keep that shell game going for as long as possible, then whatever declare bankruptcy or die or whatever and hopefully leave the credit card companies eating it

Retirement in the 21st century is:

https://www.touchofart.eu/photos/Dariusz_Kaleta/big/Sokrates_i_Cykuta_dkal55.jpg

oh yeah and also I figure while running up the credit cards if there still is social security I'll take those payments, withdraw the cash and put those in an offshore account or even safety deposit box under a different name and just go grab cash for stuff after the credit card game is up

ums, how much do you charge for a retirement plan consultation, and can I pay you in pogs?

Step 1: storage unit full of Beanie Babies
Step 2: ???
Step 3: retirement!

I really like UMS's plan - $1 sale of the house is clever, but I think you should also budget for a good lawyer for your daughter. Legally emancipating her doesn't mean your creditors won't still try to lean on her to settle your estate.

For extra righteousness I might also say that your orgy of credit-card-fueled spending should probably shift away from local small businesses.ethically sourced whatsits, and more toward eeevil megacorps, as you get closer to financial self-immolation. Make sure all the people who get screwed over are the ones who deserve it.

considering how much you need to retire shouldn't there either be a few more options or consolidate a bunch of these into one? is there a practical difference between having saved $3,000 or $9,000 or $15,000 or $30,000? or is that the pt? that whatever we've most likely done so far is hopelessly inadequate?

does anyone else worry about putting money aside for the future when maybe there will be no gov backing the dollar in the future?

a big tent and a one-way ticket to Uzbekistan should do me

i'd love to visit bukhara one day

Ripple guys ripple

i have a meager IRA from a previous job that matched contributions, however, as i'm under 30 i wonder if i should just take that $ and use it to travel and whatnot before we go full waterworld

Invest in sunscreen and swimwear.

i have quite a bit but not as much as i should have; I withdrew a lot to buy a house six years ago, which was actually a good investment (so far). my company doesn't match unfortunately.

"does anyone else worry about putting money aside for the future when maybe there will be no gov backing the dollar in the future?"

all the time

I really like UMS's plan - $1 sale of the house is clever, but I think you should also budget for a good lawyer for your daughter. Legally emancipating her doesn't mean your creditors won't still try to lean on her to settle your estate.

For extra righteousness I might also say that your orgy of credit-card-fueled spending should probably shift away from local small businesses.ethically sourced whatsits, and more toward eeevil megacorps, as you get closer to financial self-immolation. Make sure all the people who get screwed over are the ones who deserve it.

― I will finish what I (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, February 9, 2018 9:16 AM (thirty-seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Thanks, that's good advice and also good point on screwing the big companies.

Old Lunch - sign up for my webinar "Dirtbag Retirement Planning"

Trump has been sort of...inspirational is the wrong word...but eye opening, like reading about him, it's like rich people act like crooks all the time why should I approach things like ooh save my pennies one at a time like a good little boy

Also inspired a couple of things...a friend's brother was getting divorced and they were broke as hell but his soon to be ex stayed in the house and just kept bullshitting and making payment agreements and sending them payments here and there as much as she could and it was FOUR years before she was evicted

also, my cousin does crop insurance and one of his adjusters is this older guy who went down post-Katrina with his wife in an RV to do freelance adjusting (there was obviously just shit tons of work down there)...anyway, he goes to check out this trailer park that had been destroyed, gets there and there's NOTHING left, like maybe a piece of sheet metal here and there or piece of wood, but like the things was erased...like it never existed...so like good luck trying to assess anything, he was just gonna write it up as a total loss for every person that could be shown to own a trailer there...

anyway, he's walking along the beach and he sees this sock...picks it up and it's full of cash. a lot. so he's like how the fuck would I ever trace who's money this was? so he takes it back, and him and his wife hang it up to dry like in a fuckin movie..anyway, it turns out to be more than $50,000....so he's real careful about it but it like fuck it, it's just gonna sit in some government office or something and they'll never get it to whose it was anyway...so they just keep the cash, don't buy anything crazy but just say hey this is food, groceries and clothing money...he got more than a decade out of it, just using it for those basics and paying in cash keeping the money in a safe

but eye opening, like reading about him, it's like rich people act like crooks all the time why should I approach things like ooh save my pennies one at a time like a good little boy

on one hand yeah but otoh you want to be a better human than djt. not saying you can't bend the rules and be a good person (and sometimes maybe bending the rules is required to be a good person) but the way djt acts like a crook he leaves a lot of damage in his wake.

who am i damaging in my scenarios? (if you say banks or credit card companies i don't give a shit)

back when i had a steady job i put 5% of every paycheck into retirement, which was matched by my employer. it is weird, now, outside of that job, to have ~$0 in my bank account but to have a decent amount stored away for "retirement" 35 years from now. hopefully i won't have to withdraw it early in order to make it through the next few decades

one of the many reasons I left the usa was that here I'm a civil servant with a nice pension plan. since I came here late it'll only be like 80% of my highest salary but that'll be plenty, especially since there'll be no health care costs. no college costs either (my older daughter will start higher ed this fall, if we were still in the usa I have no idea how we'd have handled that, I guess the usual loan thing)

https://i.imgur.com/kV3v7oZ.png

this is good presumably. anyway, i play along to an extent with the conceit that in 30y time the world financial markets will still be intact. but i am p close to converting my retirement plan contribution into a canned goods and ammunition stockpile fund

considering how much you need to retire shouldn't there either be a few more options or consolidate a bunch of these into one?

I worry that my savings are inadequate and I'm in the highest category (albeit barely)

I have a 401k, but have not been able to contribute more than a couple % of my income to it for many years. I've also borrowed from it twice, once to buy a home (stupid, I know) so I'm paying that back rather than accumulating new retirement savings. The recent fluctuations didn't hit me too badly because with the help of our company's advisor my portfolio is VERY conservative.

Although last year I was getting like an 11-12% return, now I'm getting 2.66% YTD. Thanks, Trump!

I am retired now. My answer will no doubt ruin the curve.

I contribute the max 18,500 every year and currently have $140K total. At 36 with a good twenty years to go I think I’m sitting pretty. Thank you Thrift Savings Plan. And I guess thank you Ohio for having such a low cost-of-living.

i have $1000 saved dollars and i am so fucked forever.

You have saved dollars?! So jealous right now.

P.S. I am powerfucked times infinity.

I do have a change jar at home that's like a quarter full atm, so it isn't technically true to say I have NO savings.

$0 but the only person in my family who's ever "retired" was my grandmother who worked for the post office and even then she worked 30 hours a week as a Wal-Mart greeter until she died, so the concept is fundamentally foreign to me.

the $1000 i have saved is because i tried to save some money while i was working a bit extra, and then i gave it to my wife for safekeeping.
i 100% live paycheck to paycheck, and my 2 days/week regular work doesn't cover my rent.

http://www.fantasticalandrewfox.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/On-the-Beach-cover2.jpg

Lots of unlikely people will suddenly have oceanfront property,

Looking forward to living in the beach, if only for a while

― I'm walking on Sondheim (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, February 11, 2018 6:07 PM (yesterday)

I looked at maps a while back, and if I stay in my current place ... total beach!

Some advice: don't look too closely at what's floating in the water.

Based on the smell of what is currently a lake, this is already my standard practice.

Fortunate to be about the last age group at my company with a guaranteed pension. Subsequent union contracts have eliminated the company-provided pension, while promoting personal responsibility for retirement. Didn't start my IRA until early 30s, against much advice, so am behind the curve to some of my peers, but still ahead of the national curve, I think.

Knock on wood, between personal savings, pension, retirement account w/ company match, and possibly Social Security, I should have enough to keep a SINK with a modest lifestyle set. Health is the big question mark.

certainly moving will make you re-evaluate how much vinyl you want to own

remember, even if you have a pension they can evaporate! Nothing is certain. Especially if the pension is not well funded

I hope to retire selling my valuable CD collection

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Idk more interested in these poll results than most

Poll options not high enough

otrm

Sorry. Guess I assumed most of you were in terrible positions in regards to retirement savings.

i think the people that are in great positions want to distinguish themselves from those who are in merely ok positions ...

Centrists Vs upper middles

I have no idea what position I'm in (not bad? but maybe not good) and figure out what qualifies as good for someone with my income and interests

age is a key factor in "good" -- if i was in my 20s and had what I have saved up, I'd feel pretty good about it, but I'm in my 40s, and so ... not so good.

I'll definitely say that if I hadn't've got in and stuck with my UC position all this time since 1997, it might be looking a little dicier for me to an extent. Knowing I've had an actual pension as a backstop -- and that I'm three years away from being able to claim it if needed, though obviously the longer I stay in the system the more it will be -- takes a load off one's mind. (Also, compared to other pension situations that are indeed looking pretty dicey in general, the UC's is on stabler ground overall -- it's certainly nice to hear that the CalPERS system is on better ground now too, though UC's setup is separate from that.)

I'm kind of hoping, perversely, that the pension plan gets killed and rolled into my 401k or something as a lump sum? Because I think I have to retire from this place to get the pension (or get laid off) and I'd like to quit before then.

Are you fully vested at all?

oh wait, I am behind on reading up on the changes to the plan

ignore previous post, I guess I don't care about that particular thing anymore

just reading this thread title alone gave me anxiety . im out

just reading this thread title alone gave me anxiety . im out

― (•̪●) (carne asada), Tuesday, February 27, 2018 1:19 PM (twenty-four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

same. don't be a music writer unless you want to completely destroy your future, defined as the span of time after you expire, defined as being older than 25

even pensions can get wiped out if they are not well managed.

the best retirement strategy is probably to go live in a different country - its the new retirement immigration plan!

Dont have to live like a 401k refugee

the best retirement strategy is probably to go live in a different country - its the new retirement immigration plan!

― Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Wednesday, 28 February 2018 6:05 AM (twelve minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Grand old tradition in this, at least from the UK, soon to be halted by brexit.

I’m planning on retiring to japan as the will have the best aged care robots.

Good point man, the bots will be our bedpans!

until they unionize

yes I have emigrated from my home country in part for retirement reasons (& other social safety network reasons), I recommend it warmly to others

I know people who saved, on their own, hundreds of thousands of dollars, through having a good job, cheap rent and no kids. I am not them. Thank god for 401k (and pension too, tho not really sure what I need to do to get it)

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/retirement/081016/5-reasons-retire-canada.asp

read that as: 5-reasons-retire-canada.asap

Canada is now KNown as NATION FORMERLY KNOWN AS CANADA

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Srsly poll the 47 and pls be srs this time with the numbers

10k to 50k here. i'm gonna live on twigs and berries

Ur young man you'll be sound

Srsly poll the 47 and pls be srs this time with the numbers
― Simpson L. (darraghmac), Wednesday, February 28, 2018 12:09 AM (fifteen hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Not bragging, more of a reflection on growing up lower income, and tilting the other way as a single, no kids guy (I save vs. spend, maybe to a fault). Have been with same company since 23, saving for retirement since 31 or so (starting at 8%, now at 20%), so at $450K in IRA alone. Above water in house, annual pension is secure, and have good emergency savings set aside. Not accounting for Social Security, feels like with my standard of living, I can still retire early.

All comes down to health, really. Could save like crazy, and keel over with it unused. Or could retire, everything crashes or inflates, and I'm penniless. At which point, the Bacon Retirement Plan comes in: one pound of fried pepper bacon per day, until the heart seizes.

Nicely done, no lie. (Except for that final backup plan.)

unless he or she makes it a hit youtube show to annoy a retired whiney

I just plan to die when I run out of money.

I have about 300k in a 401k I was able to save when I worked like a slave at a law firm (I turn 40 next year). But Im a. worried about the hyper stock market bubble exploding and slashing that number in half and b. the rest of my savings/net worth lol dipped below 25k recently after a move and my budgeting didn't include health insurance that I'm not eligible for until mid March.. not in an insane bind but its making me anxious as hell working with less and less of a safety net and being unable to save.

it seems the DINK lifestyle is the only solvent one these days

Kids are a luxury

otm

xpost If you are super worried about a stock market bubble (although it only matters what your account is worth when you actually withdraw the money) you could just transfer the 401k to an IRA and redistribute the funds or hold them in cash/savings until a time that you feel things are cheaper.

everything crashes or inflates, and I'm penniless

...as would be everyone whose net worth could be written without at least a generous handful of zeroes. A general financial catastrophe can't be planned around. You just have to gut it out with whatever resources you can salvage from the fire. But it's always a good idea to have some tangible assets that aren't just 'paper' or digits on a bank's balance sheet, because those are the first to immolate.

There was a time when I thought I'd be able to get away with just selling my CD collection if I was skint.

My plan B is "Well, I can always move to Lincolnshire".

My story is similar to officer sonny bonds', but I had it in the bank where it all got eaten by rent during long-term unemployment