the day after the deadline: can the union survive brexit and other deep questions

(jfc I didn't notice the Spoonerism and now I wish I could delete my posts because they are not worthy, even if they are correct)

(My sister is a regular attendee at Secret Affair gigs :( She is an old mod though)

nickb that is an extraordinary achievement

*claps*

*WARNING humourless party pooper post ahoy!*

A report by the work and pensions select committee highlighted people with Down’s syndrome asked when they “caught” it, a woman reporting frequent suicidal thoughts asked why she had not yet killed herself, and someone whose assessment said she walked a dog daily, when she can barely walk and does not own a dog.

the "substantial minority" the report concludes, that have been partially or completely fucked over by these ATOS/CAPITAS assessments is Rumsfeld type bullshit speak for FUCKING SHITLOADS i.e. not a minority by any definition.

i mean forgive me if that's an obvious point but it honestly seems like d davis et al are folding their arms and whining that the EU hasn't sorted this all out yet

Three headlines from this morning that I saw in a row:

Japan warns Theresa May its giant firms will quit UK if botched Brexit makes it 'unprofitable' to stay

Ministers admit almost 65 existing trade deals with non-EU countries are ‘at risk because of Brexit’

David Davis criticises 'discourteous language' from the EU in transition period document

NickB wins today’s internet!

Ugh at healthcare professional interviews: half the time the person interviewing a person in need of disability benefits has zero qualification to do so - one example from amongst my friends was the person with MH issues whose interlocutor was a physio in a Juicy tracksuit.

the "substantial minority" the report concludes, that have been partially or completely fucked over by these ATOS/CAPITAS assessments is Rumsfeld type bullshit speak for FUCKING SHITLOADS i.e. not a minority by any definition.

OTM. National disgrace.

look, in this country we obey the rule of law and you're a scrounger until proven dead.

someone just head of me in the airport security queue the other day had a laptop with an atos sticker on it and it was all i could do not to smash it on the floor

...and then tell them it was still fit to work

(My sister is a regular attendee at Secret Affair gigs :( She is an old mod though)

"this is the time for gammon"

ATOS are an enormous company who amongst other things make laptops, mind, and ATOS healthcare is't even called ATOS (sez wikipedia), they've been OH Assist for four years.

(This is not meant in any way as an excuse, more an aid to calzino's rage - if there's ever a large fire at their head offices at Meadowcourt, 2, Hayland St, Sheffield S9 1BY, and anyone needs an alibi, hit me up)

...and then tell them it was still fit to work

The assessor who saw my partner assured her: "We aren't ATOS, we are a completely different company" or something like that. But to add to the Kafka-esque dread (or maybe just the standard corporate muddle) any mail correspondence she had with them had an ATOS letterhead on it.

mod and gammon OMG

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/feb/09/lack-of-migrant-workers-left-food-rotting-in-uk-fields-last-year-data-reveals

at least after these pro-Bexit farmers have lost their access to cheap labour and phat EU subsidies they'll have that amazing resource The Gove-brain to fall back onto.

on gammon and migrant workers

https://www.economist.com/news/britain/21736178-harrogates-downward-migration-trend-few-years-ahead-britains-how-it-faring

Congratulations to NickB and all his fans on a tremendous achievement.

"Investing in an industrial dishwasher could eliminate the need for a kitchen porter, he says."

strong influence of Bezos-thought in Harrogate, coupled with cutting edge 1950's technology. Unless he's thinking of buying a robot to operate the dishwasher as well!

Tophill East (Weymouth & Portland) result:

CON: 47.0% (+16.8)
LAB: 46.0% (+23.1)
GRN: 7.0% (-5.6)

Labour almost took a traditional Tory seat in the by-election, just short by 9 votes. Prompting a "Vote Green, get Tory"/"Labour should support PR" spat.

my thoughts on the matter are complex but boil down to 'pipe down and get behind corbyn' tbh

Tory vote up +16.8%. They're on fire.

would love2pipe down corbyn B====D~~~

I'm thinking of a new version of Dexter, where instead of murdering other serial killers, he works through the electoral register murdering Tory voters in marginal seats.

I think antagonising Green voters is the totally wrong approach fwiw.

the bunch of f'king ninnies ;P

come on, they're not all vegofascists

I'm thinking of a new version of Dexter, where instead of murdering other serial killers, he works through the electoral register murdering Tory voters in marginal seats.

keep thinking about how excellent this & its reception would be. the zeitgeist demands that this inspired idea is realised

Roses are red,
Gammon is pink.
They're in women's mentions,
To say what they think. pic.twitter.com/ob63hiTYxC

— David Whitley (@mrdavidwhitley) February 14, 2018

I wouldn't have thought Cameron would have needed to take out a loan tbh...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/02/13/would-be-jihadist-took-10000-bank-loan-islamic-state-travel/

:o

Claiming to be living alone is one of the most common types of benefit fraud – don’t ruin #ValentinesDay by failing to declare your true circumstances https://t.co/tZuNYZ5fer pic.twitter.com/ahutOO6NUy

— DWP Press Office (@dwppressoffice) February 13, 2018

And the link is to a fucking Express story too. Fucking maniacs.

what

the

fuck

claiming to be based abroad is one of the most common types of personal and corporate tax avoidance but iirc hmrc’s twitter is oddly devoid of cutesy threats despite benefit ‘fraud’ being a vanishingly small amount of money compared to the vast sums being stolen from the uk’s coffers by offshore tax havens

i sincerely hope somebody bombs those cunts

I have beautiful visions of accompanying a large mob into the offices of a select few institutions and smashing up literally every computer we find

Love is dead and all that remains is a huge punitive faceless bureaucracy.

HALentine's day as it were

https://d3gqasl9vmjfd8.cloudfront.net/b51b00ae-5f6e-476a-bd25-16017b9433d1.jpg

maybe they should just reform the power-sharing executive without the DUP

The Great Orator.

"We will continue to go to, mm, go on cheapo flights to, mm, stag parties in ancient cities where we will, mm, i'm sure we will continue to receive a warm welcome [trips over words, ruffles hair)" I particularly like the part slightly later on where he almost says "learn European Lavatories".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3-FBniMhMU

not included in this clip - a "joke" about dogging, a "joke" about sex tourism in Thailand and this exchange at the Q&A

Journalist - Foreign Secretary - what do you say to those people who say 'yet another speech from a Cabinet minister on Brexit but where is the clarity?'

Boris - The carrot?

Journalist - The clarity.

Boris - Clarity! OK. God. Carrot. Carrot. Well, as I say, I think you have an abundance of clarity in the Prime Minister's Lancaster House speech... And it can be good for carrots too, by the way, since you - well, you didn't actually mention carrots, but... we can take back control of our agricultural policies, and it may be that we can do wonderful things to, with, you know, our own regulations to, you know... promote organic carrots.

does he know he made a cunt of this or is he so shameless that he has no idea/knows but doesn't care?

He can't be using Farage-ist as a pejorative, when him and the all the far-right Cons owe so much to him.

he doesn't believe that words mean anything so why not

sorry corbyn-fans yr bearded idol is a COMMIE SPY

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DWB4aHQW4AELxi-.jpg:large

believe it or not, 32 years ago jeremy corbyn didn't think much of margaret thatcher and wasn't too keen on reagan either *clutches pearls*

meh! we all got penetrated by the Soviet Union back then, sometimes twice! Anyway, what about the shock story of the genocidal dictator and Thatcher.

Not quite gammon at the bottom there but close enough.

1986 was the height of the Cold War?

Love how he meets all these subversives out in the open in Portcullis House, clearly hiding in plain sight.