why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

^ uh, irony there

cinema was famously free on Saturdays

dinner came hot from the oven, not from a freezer

does the writer think that people just suck on frozen meals like they're fucking ice lollies instead of, y'know, cooking them in the oven

it's not the same if you can't taste an hour's worth of unpaid female labour in every bite

no you don't understand unpaid female labour is the name of my dog

to be fair, sometimes facebook can really deliver the goods:

https://scontent.fbed1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/11002615_10101573614770342_7901511622626986622_n.jpg?oh=66b51702e4743d335819f07f60990011&oe=5B0EE270

On the weird detail front, not refrigerating your cheese kind of stands out. And hell, if you want to keep your cheese on the counter you're welcome to, I won't rat you out to the cheese police.

http://i65.tinypic.com/2pref76.jpg

^ eh, as a parody, it's pretty passable. at least it doesn't misplace the punchline.

ok i love that

i laughed at that britney thing.

this i did not laugh at :

https://www.wired.com/story/inside-facebook-mark-zuckerberg-2-years-of-hell/

a very interesting deep dive read.

https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/27973309_785827021623335_731319092936336591_n.png?oh=9a15c4b9c7d29256d14c45ea7e7e7155&oe=5B07B4DF

i'm more annoyed about the car on the street PARKED THE WRONG WAY

clearly they need to build a wall imo

or two walls, rather

it looks like gun control stops 5 out of every 7 murderous triangles tho, it's a start

im 2 dumb to understand the gun control one

no you're not, you probably just missed the gate (i did too at first.)

aah ok

I guess gun control doesn't work then

hmm as if rules mean nothing without meaningful enforcement

never mind, I’m thinking too hard

It's not an analogy, it works exactly like this.

https://i.imgur.com/Te7BCdk.jpg

be on the look out for teens leaving IEDs in your yard. btw if you want to make one yourself, here's how

Drano you say

Boiling hot water. Safely contained in a little plastic bottle.

No fingers left.

well 5 minutes ago i didn't know i could make a drano bomb. cheers Facebook!

Teens man, first it was jäger bombs now it's drano bombs I can't keep up with all these funny new words!

weird how the makers of neither drano nor tin foil have gotten in any boiling hot water for all the sinks, kitchens and houses blown to bits, in what must be a very commonplace accident

i think the real trick is to wait until someone picks up the drano bomb and then throw toilet paper at them

https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/fr/cp0/e15/q65/27912849_2022576487753900_4892370308163534121_o.jpg?efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&oh=54ce1d6d8ab7eaa46e40009612f1e2ee&oe=5B0701A1

🤔

I mean, yes, both those things.

omar, you may like some of the content on this twitter account:
https://twitter.com/ButNoPotato/

Those drano bombs have been around for yonks: https://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/bottlebomb.asp

Forgot to say, that's a rare True for that one. Watch out!

the IRA’s warning to thatcher after they narrowly failed to kill her in the brighton bombing has somehow leaked into inspirational american facebook as a thatcher quote pic.twitter.com/VOEZvLqJWf

— bgreysk (@bgreysk) February 17, 2018

peak artist thing

https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/26172691_1776033742699591_8872384750729828252_o.jpg?oh=4afa0b150a329d93a7bf5a9928a64031&oe=5B4C2775

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-BoqE0lY5s

if you ask me to keep it going it dies right there

messenger hardman

What, is that about forwarding? Are people forwarding useless bullshit in messenger now or something?

https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14034825_1814699612074923_5324398950932043525_n.png?oh=7b4c8694fda06bb00cd466230201363a&oe=5B0CF1E6

11. Avoid the temptation to kill those you're close to. If you don't know your victim, it's easier to get away with it.

lmao at that thing abruptly turning from "I am very smart and have no patience for your stupidity" to "I am actually an alcoholic"/Hallmark Humor card land

Possibly one of the best ones on this thread..

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/fr/cp0/e15/q65/28166441_2026307467581048_2826386418698674966_n.jpg?efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&oh=2b2babef7d5f3eb443bac766a756f347&oe=5B07E0E7

- Bob Marley

‘EAT THE DELICIOUS FOOD’, urges sir anthony hopkins in an emotional facebook plea

None of us is getting out of here alive, so what's wrong with a little cannibalism?