New Entries into the UK top 10 in 2018

Rudimental - These Days feat. Jess Glynne, Macklemore & Dan Caplen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjTj-_55WZ8

Ho hum

Liam Payne, Rita Ora - For You (Fifty Shades Freed)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQUuqbzQVsY

Low expectations here, but it's not that bad, mainly due to production.

Kendrick Lamar, SZA - All The Stars

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQbjS0_ZfJ0

Yeah, this is good of course, guess everyone's already heard it though.

Marshmello & Anne-Marie - FRIENDS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzD_yyEcp0M

Labelled as *OFFICIAL FRIENDZONE ANTHEM* on Youtube. Bit rubbish.

Two new entries last Friday, don't think I need to say much about either of them as they aren't exactly obscurities.

Post Malone Feat. Ty Dolla $ign - Psycho

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGYJuETPQEg

Justin Timberlake ft. Chris Stapleton - Say Something

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MPbR6Cbwi4

Yeah, this is good of course

first positive impression of "all the stars" i've seen on ilm

i like it all right too

Eh, I'm not blown away by it, but it's pretty good

I used to listen to a tape of The Hound of The Baskervilles when I was about 4 or 5 and I always liked the name Stapleton, and thought it wasn't fair that it was the name of the villain.
This Stapleton isn't the hero I was hoping for though.

Anyway, no new entries in the top 10 last week, and only one this week - Zedd, Maren Morris, Grey - The Middle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3mJkSqZbX4

It's one of my least favourites so far. It sounds like all the worst bits of 2014 lumped together, and the vocal line on the bridge with "why don't you pull me close..." is an exact rip-off of something very familiar with "I think I'm going crazy" and I don't like that either.

Oh, I forgot this a few weeks ago.

Dua Lipa - IDGAF

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgfe5tIwOj0

It's ok, not her best, clothes in the video are pretty cool.

George Ezra - Paradise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOwihbur34E

Saw this on Ant & Dec and thought "oh, this isn't bad actually." Then just checked out the video and "oh, actually it is bad, sorry"

I also cannot escape the fact that Ezra is the name of Henry Pratt's dad.

Two new Entries on Friday.

Lil Dicky - Freaky Friday feat. Chris Brown

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZla1ttZHaw

Wow this is horrible in so many different ways it's hard to know where to start. So I won't.

Sigala & Paloma Faith - Lullaby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghSQz2BcDQU

Very 2016. Would I have liked it then? Don't think so. Definitely not now. Both of these artists can do (a bit) better.

I was quite surprised to see "God's Plan" drop suddenly from #1 to #10 after 9 weeks at the top. It seems this is the explanation:

Basically, he's fallen victim to a rule called "Accelerated Decline" (or Accelerated Chart Ratio) - which is designed to stop a song that's dominating streaming services from clogging up the charts.

In a nutshell, if the sales of a song fall for three weeks in a row, the ratio by which sales are calculated is tweaked. Instead of 150 streams counting as one sale, the ratio becomes 300:1.

The current record fall is the NHS Choir's Bridge Over You, which dropped from number one to number 29 back in 2015, after topping the charts that Christmas.

http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-43598328

That sounds, um, not good. I like how the charts are mostly back to the way they moved in the 80s and early 90s, at the top end at least, but messing around with ratios like this seems a bit too much like gaming the system

blatant manipulation to undermine our NHS imo

granted, I'm a) not in the UK and b) not in possession of the actual data (I'm sure Chris Molanphy or something is writing about it now), but that seems like a very strange and arcane rule

Haven't updated this for a month. Fortunately the charts now move at a glacial pace.

Here's The Weeknd with Call Out My Name. It's boring.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4ZoCHID9GI

Here's Drake - Nice For What. I don't hate it as much as I hate everything else he's done but can't quite get a grip of what the fuck it's supposed to be doing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9BwWKXjVaI

Calvin Harris & Dua Lipa - One Kiss - yeah, this is ok, the instrumental break has a good mix of the summery and the menacing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm8rz-llMhE

Ariana Grande - No Tears Left To Cry - this has been discussed enough elsewhere of course.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffxKSjUwKdU

Banx & Ranx + Ella Eyre - Answerphone ft. Yxng Bane - I definitely had to copy/paste that title. Actual song is a bit nondescript.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayzAJ9yjnX8

Anne-Marie - 2002 - co-written by Ed Sheeran. "The words you pen get played again, your blithe resolve I can forgive / But when you tell us how to live it's just so heteronormative" indeed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tvLIhEaEKo

how many Ed Sheeran songs are there that go "it was better back then/I'm 26 now"

I've never really enjoyed his music or persona but I've managed to avoid it easily enough outside of Jessie Ware cowrites but this is absolutely abysmal and its success really does feel like a damning indictment of culture

"Answerphone" is a weird one because much as I don't enjoy that style of pop voice that seems ubiquitous now (that mix of lazy enunciation and cutesy oversinging) you can tell Eyre could and should be doing better

'Answerphone' is my favourite chart hit in some time. I've only heard probably 5-10% of what's been in the charts this year though.

Let's catch up with this (it may take a little while)

Post Malone – Better Now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7TZt7yewh0

Sounds like recycled bits of things I might've liked about five years ago, but somehow much worse. He also really needs to lose the neckbeard.

Nothing to add about this one, except that I'm glad it's here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYOjWnS4cMY

David Guetta & Sia - Flames

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J75enyWdbBM

Standard DG and standard Sia, which works together pretty well, I like how it constantly plays with being anthemic but doesn't ever go there. Still, fairly forgetable. Video reminds me of the Kung Fu Fighting discussion on ILM this week.

Jess Glynne - I'll Be There

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQp1_GfDhwQ

Been vaguely bored with Jess for what seems like an age now, this is one of her best ones for a while, but still...