SADDO: THE MOVIE (aka READY PLAYER ONE)

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People who learned about criminal justice from commercials featuring animated mascots absconding with cereal. Who learned about working from listening to their aging parents complain about it over dinner. Who learned about masturbation by doing it all day long with the blinds drawn while weeping copiously.

Another helping of mouthwatering cobbler? (Old Lunch), Monday, 19 March 2018 14:18 (six years ago) link

i object to your third point on uh personal grounds

in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 19 March 2018 14:20 (six years ago) link

It pains me that people get paid to drool out opinions like these while I sit here dropping gold on this board all day long for nothin'. Where's the justice, I ask you.

Another helping of mouthwatering cobbler? (Old Lunch), Monday, 19 March 2018 14:21 (six years ago) link

People who learned their friends from Xbox Live?

jmm, Monday, 19 March 2018 14:22 (six years ago) link

TBF, weepy self-abuse is, I'm sure, becoming a more popular pastime with every passing day.

Another helping of mouthwatering cobbler? (Old Lunch), Monday, 19 March 2018 14:23 (six years ago) link

you need to work harder to suggest seething, barely-suppressed racism in everything you write, that's where the money is if this guy's anything to go by xxp

in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 19 March 2018 14:24 (six years ago) link

But is gaming and nerd culture in need of legitimacy?

In the case of Black Panther, absolutely.

This is getting confusing.

jmm, Monday, 19 March 2018 14:28 (six years ago) link

Oh, I see, it's a Dadaist piece. I feel like such a dope for having expected coherence and lucidity and basic writing skills.

Another helping of mouthwatering cobbler? (Old Lunch), Monday, 19 March 2018 14:35 (six years ago) link

thing is, gaming is 'legitimate' by any rational definition - games have made more money than hollywood for years now, hundreds of millions of people play games on their phones or on facebook or both every day, mainstream gaming's biggest names like mario or pikachu probably have more global recognition than any movie star

the problem is self-identified 'gamers' who scream for recognition of games as art but ruin lives when someone makes even the slightest move towards offering the mildest form of artistic critique, and seek social acceptance for their entirely illusory skillset built in a medium which actively prevents them from engaging directly with society

in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 19 March 2018 14:36 (six years ago) link

finally, a movie which speaks directly to a culture of total morons

like MARVEL never happened

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Monday, 19 March 2018 14:37 (six years ago) link

i just hope spielberg is prepared for the backlash when there's a nerdsplosion after tracer from overwatch gets cucked by panthro from thundercats in the background of a scene or whatever - packing this many nerd treasures into a single movie is basically a nerd-rage wages of fear type situation, where the slightest knock could blow the whole thing sky-high

in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 19 March 2018 14:40 (six years ago) link

Yeah, I've been thinking that this thing is going to tank with its target audience if Spielberg has the temerity to, oh, say, depict the female characters as something other than castrating harridans without journalistic integrity.

Another helping of mouthwatering cobbler? (Old Lunch), Monday, 19 March 2018 14:56 (six years ago) link

xp obviously I need to unplug from the internet because my first thought was "hmm ok so who is Tracer's girlfriend who Panthro is hooking up with"

mh, Monday, 19 March 2018 14:59 (six years ago) link

tsk, so heteromormative

in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 19 March 2018 14:59 (six years ago) link

I'd correct you but it'd involve admitting I know who "tracer from overwatch" is

mh, Monday, 19 March 2018 15:01 (six years ago) link

wait i fucked that up never mind

in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 19 March 2018 15:01 (six years ago) link

mods pls stike this mutually embarrassing exchange from the record, don't wanna look like a fool in the ready player one thread

in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 19 March 2018 15:02 (six years ago) link

I think I just realized who the movie is meant for, though

mh, Monday, 19 March 2018 15:03 (six years ago) link

Well, as BG says, the actual market for this is much larger than a loud minority - this will do fine.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 19 March 2018 15:05 (six years ago) link

we're finally going to mainstream video game slash fiction

mh, Monday, 19 March 2018 15:07 (six years ago) link

god if only

as the crows around me grows (Noodle Vague), Monday, 19 March 2018 15:07 (six years ago) link

honestly I'm surprised this isn't a movie thing. we can get alien and predator in the same film, so I can't wait for the Tomb Raider/Assassin's Creed crossover. natural fit, really

mh, Monday, 19 March 2018 15:08 (six years ago) link

my kids are very ready to see this. they both really liked the book. also, they are kids.

scott seward, Monday, 19 March 2018 15:21 (six years ago) link

my youngest saw a wrinkle in time and he said it felt "empty". which is pretty scathing coming from him.

scott seward, Monday, 19 March 2018 15:26 (six years ago) link

He got the ILM guys to do it

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 22 March 2018 22:09 (six years ago) link

the reference-heavy, self-aware book

one of these adjectives is very wrong

Cambridge Metallica (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 22 March 2018 22:10 (six years ago) link

Ready Pop-Cultural Ouroboros

Toilet Paper Tube Bracelets -- Super Hero Themed? (Old Lunch), Thursday, 22 March 2018 22:11 (six years ago) link

listening to audiobook of this. can't quite decide on which part has been worst so far, but the part where he describes the plot of bladerunner and who all the characters are is certainly up there

jamiesummerz, Friday, 23 March 2018 15:32 (six years ago) link

that's like cutting your own ear off just to see if it's as painful as you imagine it would be

Cambridge Metallica (Noodle Vague), Friday, 23 March 2018 15:34 (six years ago) link

Sounds like Cline might be looking at a lawsuit from Wikipedia.

Toilet Paper Tube Bracelets -- Super Hero Themed? (Old Lunch), Friday, 23 March 2018 15:34 (six years ago) link

kind of reminds me of how on Nathan For You he hired a dude off Craigslist to ghostwrite a workout book but only gave him a week to write it, so there are entire pages which are just descriptions of the foods he likes

frogbs, Friday, 23 March 2018 15:35 (six years ago) link

Thank you for reminding me to read my copy of The Movement: How I Got This Body By Never Going To The Gym In My Life by 'Jack Garbarino', which I'm sure is a more inspired read than Ready Player One by Ernest Cline.

Toilet Paper Tube Bracelets -- Super Hero Themed? (Old Lunch), Friday, 23 March 2018 15:39 (six years ago) link

great thing about that title is that it draws you in while never once claiming that jack's body is a desirable body

its definitely got more of an emotional core, thanks to the death of Dende the jungle child

frogbs, Friday, 23 March 2018 15:43 (six years ago) link

(I'm willing my supple and elegant comedic mind to come up with an adequate bridge between The Movement and Ready Number Two in order to construct something that resembles an actual joke instead of just a couple of poop references that make me giggle like a six-year-old.)

Toilet Paper Tube Bracelets -- Super Hero Themed? (Old Lunch), Friday, 23 March 2018 15:52 (six years ago) link

The sequel will be called "Continue? Insert Coin"

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Friday, 23 March 2018 15:53 (six years ago) link

ready player pwn morelike amirite fellas

the best thing about the audiobook is Will Wheaton aka the worst fucking character from TNG doing his 'Japanese person' voice. it's really special.

jamiesummerz, Friday, 23 March 2018 16:54 (six years ago) link

O_O

MIckey Rooney couldn't be summoned from beyond?

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Friday, 23 March 2018 17:17 (six years ago) link

wow, can you share the audio at all? or is that a bad idea?

Thomas NAGL (Neil S), Friday, 23 March 2018 18:00 (six years ago) link

There are certain segments of the audiobook up on YT, but I don’t know if that one is there:

https://youtu.be/Q0wNSzPzn2o

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish), Friday, 23 March 2018 18:30 (six years ago) link

wondrous thread:

Oh I hated this movie so so much. What an irredeemable piece of treacly, incoherent garbage https://t.co/zYWSJA5PA2

— This fall on CBS, Kevin James is: (@Boringstein) March 29, 2018

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish), Thursday, 29 March 2018 05:51 (six years ago) link

lmao @ the shining, movie could not be working harder to personally call my bluff

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 29 March 2018 06:27 (six years ago) link

Eric didn't hate it enough for you bitches

https://www.slantmagazine.com/film/review/ready-player-one

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 29 March 2018 07:15 (six years ago) link

i'm genuinely looking forward to hearing your impressions of this, morbs

sir chesley bonestell, qc (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 29 March 2018 10:06 (six years ago) link

lol by the time i'm READY it will be gone from theaters, very likely

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 29 March 2018 11:19 (six years ago) link

"Ready Viewer One."

"What?"

"Well, you're the only one who bought a ticket."

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 29 March 2018 11:23 (six years ago) link


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