ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

We solve it by going to bed at 9:30...

That's when he yells if you put him down!

Oh Casper sleeps at that point. Thank god.

He likes to watch Breaking Bad sometimes too.

I'm about to go spend £40 on a wholesome family day out which I am 95% sure will end in tears and tantrums and cafe queues but we just NEED to get him out of the house

Having just spent 25 minutes getting a bandaid off a 5yo, the world contains no terrors for me.

"OK, sit down, I'm going to slowly remove this-- Whoa, what's THAT?!?!"

Works every time, and the bandaid is off in less than 2 seconds.

There seemed to be at least 8 arms blocking any such attempt, sadly.

My daughter's friend came over to play after school today. They were playing downstairs, and at one point he excused himself to the bathroom. I had to send him back in when my ears did not detect the sounds of flushing or handwashing. They then went upstairs to watch TV. I heard him excuse himself to the upstairs bathroom, and this time didn't think much of it.

I eventually had to use the downstairs restroom myself. I went in and sat down on the seat. RIGHT INTO HIS PISS THAT HE LEFT ALL OVER IT! Cleaned the seat and myself up, then went to check the upstairs bathroom. No pee on seat, but a big unflushed poop with no toilet paper in the bowl.

Later, my daughter had diarrhea and ended up crapping her pants. She's had fecal impaction for the past few days, so this has been a recurring side effect.

That was quiet an hour.

quite

Ugh Bs kids never flush the damn toilet, cos they were brought up with the stupid "if its yellow let it mellow" thinking, but dammit I will not live in a house with 3 men whose piss stinks, sorry. FLUSH THE DAMN TOILET

my kid (almost 4) just slipped off the couch and said 'i don't have any gravity.' then she looked at me seriously and said 'the gravity is all in your mouth' and exhaled.

lol

when my brother was about 3 he had a friend come over to play. The kid used the bathroom & afterwards Mum discovered not only had he peed on the toilet but all over the *walls* and the floor O_o

Oh god chickenpox

D:

had a blissful 0.5 seconds this evening when I'd closed the bedroom door having put the 3-year-old to bed and the baby was asleep in the crib.
the possibilities! I could have a sit-down!

then the drop - simultaneous baby crying and kid yelling 'mummy I need a wee and a poo'

;_;

Had a vasectomy. Anyone else done the same?

Had it done Friday morning circa 9am. Spent the rest of the day watching films home alone, but yesterday actually did a lot of (very slow, gentle) walking, including going into a bike shop to buy N a new bike, where, amazingly, I bumped into the dr who'd performed the vasectomy at the counter. He was impressed I was up and about.

48 hours post surgery and my scrotum is pretty much back to normal size, I've not had painkillers since yesterday lunchtime. One gentle accidental headbut in my nethers by N aside, I've had no pain - aware that something happened but it doesn't hurt.

In actual kid news the last 24 hours has seen Casper roll from back to front and Nora learn to ride a pedal bike.

Had a vasectomy. Got an infected testicle. Walked like an agonised cowboy for 2 weeks.

One of the few upsides to unexplained infertility is not having to think about a vasectomy

I was snipped shortly after kid 2. It was fast and easy and I have really found it liberating. A whole area of anxiety and expense and hassle just... gone.

in order: congrats, double congrats, ouch, commiserations, good job

I should add that my wife is also glad of not having to worry about BC and attendant hassles. (Though I guess one should insert a mailman joke here.)

think my time is coming pretty soon

ive heard enough 'vasectomy gone wrong' stories to scare me off for good, but we don't have any more room in the house, so....

can't believe you guys are so chill about having your dicks cut off but kudos all the same, maybe i'll feel the same way after becoming a dad

Ha, there was no 'cutting' involved in mine. Shall i go full ILTMI? Yeah, why not.

S there are two ways of doing a vasectomy; scalpel, or non-scalpel. Scalpel is as it sounds; open the ballsack, stick a knife in, cut the cables.

Non-scalpel basically involves a tiny soldering iron. They burn a little hole, bring the cable up to the hole, and then, in my doctor's words 'ruin' the cables one by one through the same whole. Harder to reverse, I'd imagine, but less invasive, quicker.

Four days later I'm tender and bruised, but feeling alright. Worked from home on the sofa yesterday, but walked 4km in to work this morning.

So no 'vasectomy gone wrong' horror stories here. Still early days though.

Oh, and there's a tiny, cauterised hole in my ballsack.

Had mine in 1990, no regrets. I had the version where my dick wasn't cut off.

i did it too. the procedure itself was not exactly painless for me but the recovery was pretty easy.

ive heard they give you a valium ahead of time which is pretty nice of them

If no dick is cut off it’s not a true vasectomy

Mine was non-scalpel but didn't involve a soldering iron or cauterization.

Local anaesthetic, tiny incision made with tiny scissors; the doctor fished out the requisite plumbing and went snip snip, clip clip. Tucked everything back inside and sewed the incision back up with one or two dissolving stitches.

Dang does this always involve going inside the nutsack?

That's where the magic happens, so yeah.

for years my wife was like "get a vasectomy" then I scheduled one and she read through all the stuff about the procedure and got scared and told me not to do it. *shrug emoticon*

Dang does this always involve going inside the nutsack?

medical professionals call it the 'fantastic voyage' iirc

They can now zap kidney stones with lasers noninvasively; surely some time in the future they won't need to do any scrotal violence.

Honestly men, compared to decades of IUDs / pills / diaphragms / condoms / Norplant or whatever (not to mention menstruation itself), a vasectomy (performed in the time it takes to watch an episode of Seinfeld) is NBD.

I was waiting for that. Thank you.

b-b-but our precious family jewels

we talkin' with commercials or without

Menstruation is a drag but if anything saving my dong eliminates a not bad number of those

lol frogbs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvirak5biLM

The cauterising method used here, too. The smell of singeing scrotum is not one I'll forget.

The smell of victory

Guys come back to us ladies when you have that pain 4 days a week erry month :P

(but on that note, I cant recommenmd Implanon highly enuff - havent had a period for like 2 years and it has been AWESOME)

yeah, my wife was on implanon for like 15 years before we starting trying for a baby and had like maybe three periods during that entire time, she fucking hated it when she had it taken out and the periods returned

The cauterising method used here, too. The smell of singeing scrotum is not one I'll forget.

― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, June 5, 2018 10:12 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

was wondering about this but decided not to ask