A Steven Spielberg Poll (1994-2018)

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of those I've seen, after scott:

Saving Private Ryan - an expert gilding of midcentury ball hairs w/ embossed face of hanks
A.I. Artificial Intelligence - okay when the kid is not visible, idea totally stolen off kubrick
Minority Report - stupid oopid
Catch Me If You Can - good enough to justify leo
War of the Worlds - not good enough to justify tom
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - odysseus arrives home after a long absence to find a small turd on his pillow
The Adventures of Tintin - ...to find america's greatest living director modeling trousers fashioned from the skin of argos
Lincoln - aside from that, how was the play?

not quite as cool as seeing damo's wang but (contenderizer), Thursday, 5 April 2018 05:11 (one year ago) link

war of the worlds. saw it twice in theaters & cried both times when they're escaping the city

flappy bird, Thursday, 5 April 2018 05:14 (one year ago) link

A.I. Artificial Intelligence - okay when the kid is not visible, idea totally stolen off kubrick

huh?

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 5 April 2018 12:43 (one year ago) link

We have to go thru the AI story a lot on ilx huh?

bad left terf nut (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 5 April 2018 12:46 (one year ago) link

p sure that was a gag post

explosion from DOOM courtesy of id software (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 5 April 2018 12:46 (one year ago) link

Sorry contendo

bad left terf nut (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 5 April 2018 12:48 (one year ago) link

p sure that was a gag post

― explosion from DOOM courtesy of id software (Doctor Casino)

I thought so at first until I read the rest of the dismissals.

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 5 April 2018 12:58 (one year ago) link

Did it pass the Turing test?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 5 April 2018 13:14 (one year ago) link

Prep work, Alfred. I got internet dickhole finals tomorrow.

not quite as cool as seeing damo's wang but (contenderizer), Thursday, 5 April 2018 14:42 (one year ago) link

And you're still boning up on Spielberg Bashing 101? Better pull an all-nighter.

"Minneapolis" (barf) (Eric H.), Thursday, 5 April 2018 14:45 (one year ago) link

For students who get a 70 or below, I got a velociraptor waiting.

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 5 April 2018 14:46 (one year ago) link

A.I. is one of the handful of movies I will defend to the death (precisely because of the ways it seems to get away from its director?) but that I cannot stomach sitting down to watch again.

ryan, Thursday, 5 April 2018 15:14 (one year ago) link

(I guess it's also the kind of work where "intention" doesn't seem to matter...)

ryan, Thursday, 5 April 2018 15:15 (one year ago) link

tbf, I haven't seen most of these, so I won't vote.

I will say that the D-Day landing scene of Saving Private Ryan was some of the most brilliant filmmaking I've ever seen. Spielberg also indulged in some scenes that were so thickly sentimental and schmaltzy that they nearly ruined the movie for me.

A is for (Aimless), Thursday, 5 April 2018 15:50 (one year ago) link

Have you seen a lot of WW2 films from the '40s and the '50s? Many of them are more "sentimental."

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 5 April 2018 16:05 (one year ago) link

Yes. That is so. But the existence of worse doesn't elevate what is bad.

A is for (Aimless), Thursday, 5 April 2018 16:11 (one year ago) link

D Day scene in '..Ryan' must surely be one of the most influential sequences of all time. I wish i could vote for that by itself.

Only saw WOTW recently and the effects looked dated as all hell.

piscesx, Thursday, 5 April 2018 16:28 (one year ago) link

the D-Day scene is really something else. unlike a lot of battle scenes which are gory and thrilling and not especially a tough watch, this one is extremely tough viewing. definitely pioneered the use of the "editing out every other frame" technique to create a more jarring sense of reality, and it made sense with the industrial terror of that kind of battle. actually a very good signifier of Gladiator being shit is when Ridley Scott used that same technique in that film's battle scenes, just trying to make the film and its boring story more dynamic and deciding to use a technique that simply didn't belong or make sense.

omar little, Thursday, 5 April 2018 16:54 (one year ago) link

three months pass...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Thursday, 5 July 2018 00:01 (one year ago) link

Oh right, this one.

I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Thursday, 5 July 2018 13:04 (one year ago) link

Well, it ain't Ready Player One, in any case.

I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Thursday, 5 July 2018 13:05 (one year ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Friday, 6 July 2018 00:01 (one year ago) link

wow!

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 July 2018 00:05 (one year ago) link

I think the top 3 are otm (tho I'd flip 1 & 2)

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Friday, 6 July 2018 00:07 (one year ago) link

Given the twaddle written about Spielberg on this board, that top three astonishes me.

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 July 2018 00:11 (one year ago) link

a loud minority perhaps (or they don't vote)

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Friday, 6 July 2018 00:31 (one year ago) link

Don’t see how a better version of what Lincoln is could exist, it is a heist movie where the heist is the 13th Amendment, and I love a good heist.

devops mom (silby), Friday, 6 July 2018 00:45 (one year ago) link

Yes. I saw it again three months ago and every time I cringed at an indelicacy I wonder who else could have commissioned this script and these performances -- how the fuck else could this have been made?

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 July 2018 00:51 (one year ago) link

I approve of Minority Report's swan dive from 25 votes to 2.

I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Friday, 6 July 2018 03:12 (one year ago) link

And the top 4 is the right 4, regardless of order.

I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Friday, 6 July 2018 03:15 (one year ago) link

Who on earth would vote for the BFG?

nate woolls, Friday, 6 July 2018 08:06 (one year ago) link

2 votes for crystal skull = you dont wanna base much on these results, ppl are fuckin with you

The opening scene of Crystal Skull is really good.

Alba, Friday, 6 July 2018 10:20 (one year ago) link

the fridge

youre talking about the fridge

two months pass...

a.i. is on hulu rn btw

i tried rewatching it last night and... it's a great movie but also one of the most emotionally traumatic things i've ever seen

princess of hell (BradNelson), Monday, 10 September 2018 16:03 (ten months ago) link

Still as fine a set of poll results as this board ever produced.

I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Monday, 10 September 2018 16:25 (ten months ago) link

one month passes...

Comic I respect: Ugh, BernieBros.
Me: Sure, whatever.

Comic I respect: AI is the 14th best Spielberg movie.
Me: Who the fuck do you think you are?

— πŸŽƒ Jake-o'-lantern πŸŽƒ (@FilmBart) October 22, 2018

I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Monday, 22 October 2018 17:43 (eight months ago) link


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