OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

jeezus fucking christ

This is why I only write for Consumer Reports now

almost certain that it does stand for autism and that sean autechre is proudly autistic

yours, someone w/ mild autism

the only problem with that bit of writing is that autechre DOES contain emotion and feeling, but u neurotypicals don't get it I guess

hold me closer
neurodancer

This Scottish newspaper employs some good arts writers, but its op-ed section is a joke...

http://www.heraldscotland.com/opinion/16169683.Brian_Beacom__Pulitzer_music_prize_judges_deserve_a_rap_on_the_knuckles/

That might be the worst piece of music writing ever.

Jesus christ

some excellent Scruton-ising there, it's a load of (c)rap, innit?

all I see there is a campaign to give Limmy a Pulitzer, everything else was just padding

I imagine Brian Bee Cum is about to have a slaughter in his menchies

High and low culture? Who is right when you recall Bob Dylan’s Nobel Prize for Literature last year, which caused a stooshie. “Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed,” may have acutely summed up man’s sexual imaginations but doesn’t quite compare with Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath.

This is something of a self-own, considering that lyric could literally be a line of Steinbeck dialogue...

I'd ask if anyone had any bets on how many previous music Pulitzer winners Beacom has listened to but you can't really bet on a certainty.

https://www.savingcountrymusic.com/album-review-jason-aldeans-rearview-town/

should be easy to see why this review is both poorly written and reprehensible (i don't buy his excuses in the comments.)

this dude

including in some songs these strange feminine (or synthesized) sighs and calls like something you would hear in the soundtrack of a 90’s-era war strategy RPG or 1st-person shooter game

what, like warcraft? is jason aldean going zug-zug

the zerg queen doing background vocals

best phrase...

Among other fair criticisms...

...in which he critiques his own critique, and judges it to be a good, fair critique.

new jason aldean single right here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwWh1xy6gvU

There are a lot of provocative statements in here:
http://www.vulture.com/2018/05/rock-and-roll-hall-of-fame-artists-ranked-from-best-to-worst.html

lots of discussion about that on the Pitchfork thread but it belongs here in the HOF

ctrl f trump

she really tried it

https://uproxx.com/music/taylor-swift-reputation-tour-legacy/amp/

Taylor Swift is my culture. Surely, I already knew that to some degree, but I never realized it more than when Reputation dropped late last fall. Unexpectedly in Norway that weekend, I was covering a small European music festival — or, I was supposed to be covering it. Friday morning, attendees kept attempting to communicate with me while I sat ensconced in puffy, pink Beats headphones I couldn’t bring myself to remove, wrapped up in the world of Reptuation.

"Waaahhh! I wrote a piece of sponsored content disguised as a personal essay and people called me an asshole for it - I'm just like Taylor Swift!"

That piece is better if you approach it as a satire of Taylor Swift's writing. i.e., making huge melodramatic emotional narratives out of small personal events that no one else should really give a shit about.

i feel like writing about "small personal events that no one else should really give a shit about" describes a lot of good songwriting, but i'm not sure what that even means really so

@triggercut the author is not that self aware, trust

eric: cf. Annie Dillard: "Write not about what you love most, but about what you alone love at all."

in fact just keep a private journal because nobody else is going to seek out your opinions on the new tram cops record

otm

but i guess they have to submit some type of work to get paid

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/tracks/pusha-t-the-story-of-adidon/

what's so bad about that?

"My favorite way to listen to music is out in the world — walking to the grocery store or uphill to class, one earbud in and the other free to hear birds calling and insects buzzing."

this lede is outrageous

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/why-are-nashvilles-brightest-stars-touring-with-the-survivors-of-one-direction/2018/06/25/6d547f80-7890-11e8-93cc-6d3beccdd7a3_story.html?utm_term=.5c9342f325e2

Ooph

https://noisey.vice.com/en_us/article/zm8dve/the-saxophones-unlikely-journey-out-of-meme-hell

woof

idgi

I would say "Noisey should stick to covering Genre X or Genre Y," but literally 99% of what they publish is hot, wet garbage.

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/shawn-mendes-headlines-rolling-stone-relaunch-event-presented-by-youtube-music-699343/

yes i know it's a press release but.

the lede...

On July 26th, Rolling Stone will host 500 music industry insiders, influencers and a select group of fans at a raw industrial space in Brooklyn.

...would actually work pretty well as a mad lib.

An old one. . .

Recurrence suggests an instant replay of the Railway Children's earlier album, and, in fact, it is. While the rhythms are spritely, the songs tend to sound alike -- at times like some of what Spandau Ballet was doing in the '80s, and at other times as though the Railway Children are trying to ape New Order. Recurrence's highlights, "Merciless" and "Over & Over," suggest that they are trying to do something original, only to fall just a bit short each time. Recurrence makes you wish you had a couple of aspirin to dull the effects. (four and half stars out of five)

https://www.allmusic.com/album/recurrence-mw0000200002

More of a case of actual content of the review not matching the score, but still, that's a pretty large jump.

after the resignation of their editor last week, the AV Club apparently has nobody around to tell music writers about this wild new invention called "a single"

Burial released two of the most absorbing, darkly beautiful electronic records ever in 2006 and 2007, but rather than release a follow-up, he has spent the decade-plus since quietly firing off one- to three-track mini-albums.

He goes on to describe a release as a "split" because it has one Burial track on each side of the record.

one- to three-track mini-albums

lol

‘Scuse me while I go ride my two-wheeled, motorless, pedal-powered, one-person car

tbf Burial was covering Burial on each side of that Split

Not long now until we can call it a side again.

"Good, gloomy industrial danceballad. Lacks vocals, but an attractive side all told. Could do some business with exposure" (Nonplus, BMI)

#tbt from dula peep

One of the most funny and embarrassing articles in history. Putting women against each other and speaking way too soon. It’s obvious everyone has room to grow but trying to diminish someones success just because... is a theme that rarely happens with male artists. pic.twitter.com/RTL7UDAmkf

— DUA LIPA (@DUALIPA) August 7, 2018

wait, are we making fun of this *fifteen year old article* or the tweet? Because I can bearly get passed the grammer...in that tweet

I looked up the article and it’s not poorly written (the Lol’z are mainly in the headline, and in retrospect).

As for pitting two female artists against each other... I feel like this was a standard thing the NYT did — reviewing two albums at once and comparing/contrasting — but maybe it’s true they didn’t do it as often w/male artists (or didn’t make the contrast as stark or critical, etc.)

if you dorks don't think "The Solo Beyoncé: She's No Ashanti" is funny, idk what to say