^^ can't handle the authentic voice of the streets
― you're my luger not my rifle (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:16 (six years ago) link
The single-shot film is beautiful in its simplicity. A young woman stood in front of a parked car in a nondescript setting delivers a thought-provoking monologue exploring the advantages of ‘small’ and challenging the conventional idea that ‘big’ is always better. The camera slowly zooms towards the simply-dressed protagonist as Siouxsie & The Banshees’ 1978 classic ‘Hong Kong Garden’ gradually becomes more audible.
been compulsively reading ad industry sites the last few weeks, they really are a whole higher level
― you're my luger not my rifle (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:20 (six years ago) link
That advert is particularly dire, poetrywise.
― (Henry) Green container bin with face (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:30 (six years ago) link
... written by some berk at Giff Gaff and read by an actress, some googling tells me. Are fake poets worse than real ones though?
― (Henry) Green container bin with face (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:33 (six years ago) link
they're all terrible
― you're my luger not my rifle (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:34 (six years ago) link
Hi charity wankers we know it's not nice when people are cruel to animals you can knock it off with the weepy saddo voiceover
― la vache qui pleure (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 21 April 2018 13:13 (six years ago) link
I'd not noticed Hong Kong garden
― Mark G, Saturday, 21 April 2018 14:44 (six years ago) link
nor me tbh maybe somebody pointed out to them that the lyrics are somewhat "contentious"
― la vache qui pleure (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 21 April 2018 15:13 (six years ago) link
Not sure if you can see this as my friend filmed it off the TV but this Farm Foods ad with Hasselhoff holding court at the dinner table with a bunch of 20-something Geordies is something else. I keep watching it hoping to glean some sort of sense and well...
https://www.facebook.com/kathadore.may/videos/10160381827565381/
― brand new universal harvester (dog latin), Monday, 23 April 2018 11:55 (six years ago) link
new high fibre yoghurt advert voiced by... SuperHans.
― koogs, Saturday, 19 May 2018 14:50 (five years ago) link
"Tell you what that high fibre yoghurt is really moreish."
― triggercut, Saturday, 19 May 2018 16:19 (five years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RZsVYPlhAU
― Heavy Messages (jed_), Saturday, 19 May 2018 16:32 (five years ago) link
poor Mo. i blame Alan Davis taking away the lucrative Quorn voiceover work.
― koogs, Saturday, 19 May 2018 18:23 (five years ago) link
the football themed adverts have already started. will be sick to death of them a month before england go out.
― koogs, Thursday, 24 May 2018 18:05 (five years ago) link
Hey Tampax, we get it, I don't think those shorts need to be that tiny
― Karius whisper (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 June 2018 13:54 (five years ago) link
So glad that the season of multinationals pretending, badly, to be into football is here
― Karius whisper (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 June 2018 09:51 (five years ago) link
Watching footballers, or any sportsperson, having to do even the tiniest bit of acting is always excruciating.
― Poisoned by Johan's pea soup. (Tom D.), Saturday, 2 June 2018 10:15 (five years ago) link
I heard some of the worlds top scientists have arranged, Fantastic Voyage style, a micro sub shrunk to almost molecule size, to get to the centre of Ryan Giggs brain - to work out how the thick cunt even manages to breath!
― calzino, Saturday, 2 June 2018 10:29 (five years ago) link
Wiltshire Farms frozen meals for olds are so depressingly 1950s school dinner they make me want to give up food.
Postcode Lottery: maybe try not employing utter twats.
Peace, keep up the good work, creatives.
― Karius whisper (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 June 2018 11:54 (five years ago) link
I see fewer adverts these days than I ever have, I think. But they horrify me much more.
― Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Saturday, 2 June 2018 12:26 (five years ago) link
Yeah I'm probably watching more TV than I have in years and most adverts are like acid on my soul
― Karius whisper (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 June 2018 12:42 (five years ago) link
everything about those Knoppers ads screams "made in Germany" but his lips look like they're speaking English
― VAR VAR Rasputin (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 15:34 (five years ago) link
and that’s why we’re leaving the eu
― CARL MARKS PRINCIPAL INVESTING AND ADVISORY SERVICES (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 15:39 (five years ago) link
paging Dktr Oetker
― koogs, Wednesday, 13 June 2018 16:29 (five years ago) link
i like his pizzas tho
― VAR VAR Rasputin (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 17:11 (five years ago) link
they don't taste like pizza but they do taste nice.
― Heavy Messages (jed_), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 18:09 (five years ago) link
^ neu advertising slogan for Herr Doktor Oetker.
― We can be herpes (Tom D.), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 18:11 (five years ago) link
I've just watched a dog singing so maybe the Knoppers ad was in German originally
― VAR VAR Rasputin (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 18:47 (five years ago) link
lol Tom
― Heavy Messages (jed_), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 19:03 (five years ago) link
Awesome there's a guy who looks a bit like Richard Herring dancing round the house to "Come Up and See Me" because he's got bone-on pills
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:16 (five years ago) link
That dishwasher advert with people singing "This Little Light of Mine" is quite kill worthy
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:18 (five years ago) link
And it's a horrible Top of the Pops album type cover of "Come Up and See Me" too.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:18 (five years ago) link
I wasn't paying much attention to the music I was too busy being gobsmacked that they were celebrating erections thru the medium of interpretive dance
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:20 (five years ago) link
Are you sure it isn’t Richard herring
― U. K. Le Garage (wins), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:28 (five years ago) link
Does he have erectile dysfunction y/n?
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:32 (five years ago) link
If he has I'm sure he'd have done a routine about it by now.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:33 (five years ago) link
P sure he’s done dozens Hold up imma ask
― U. K. Le Garage (wins), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:34 (five years ago) link
Entire show it appears.
http://benjaminhendy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/TalkingCock.jpg
― Dan Worsley, Friday, 22 June 2018 20:36 (five years ago) link
dear Andrex if you don't pack it in with "how clean do you feel?" I *will* find your copy writer and I *will* mummify them in bog roll
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 21:22 (five years ago) link
I'll join you
― kinder, Friday, 22 June 2018 21:25 (five years ago) link
but they are kids!
― koogs, Friday, 22 June 2018 21:32 (five years ago) link
Nothing worse than child actors reading cutesey what-kids-say lines thought up by 35 year old Oxbridge cokeheads.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 21:50 (five years ago) link
it's a battle of repulsion between
1. child actors reading cutesey what-kids-say lines thought up by 35 year old Oxbridge cokeheads.2. child actors with adult voices (some car advert i can't find from a few years ago that had 5 year old boys talking in northern gammon type voices about miles per gallon or whatever)3. adult actors with kids voices e.g. Haribo.
I think 3 has to be the worst.
― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:23 (five years ago) link
I remember that car advert, think it might've been for one of those Vauxhall 7 seaters whatever they're called
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:25 (five years ago) link
LOL one of the actors in the Haribo advert is a nodding acquaintance in a pub I frequent.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:27 (five years ago) link
That is not his real voice in the advert.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:31 (five years ago) link
how do you know if you've only nodded to him?
― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:33 (five years ago) link
I have spoken to him several times. Also he is a bit of loud actorly type.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:37 (five years ago) link
ok then, i believe you...
― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:38 (five years ago) link
(example of 2 that springs to mind is the insurance ads with kids voiced by fry and Laurie. Choccy topping?)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rXTLBX-7foU
― koogs, Saturday, 23 June 2018 00:58 (five years ago) link