Real England

Almost said 'soy', but not today satan

"While this is undeniably funny, they also could have caused a very serious accident", said one Facebook user, who thanked the police for intervening

Realness is so fickle. A golf buggy is in no way Real, but at the moment of theft it begins to assume a patina of realitude. By the time it reaches the McDonalds drive-thru it is wholly made of Real.

World Cup window display at the undertakers. pic.twitter.com/k0sPojtfdo

— Ray Newman (@MrRayNewman) June 8, 2018

On his 97th birthday here's some garden art of Prince Philip and (I think) Colonel Gadaffi. pic.twitter.com/BoTIjd6dbj

— Balderdash (@notDcfcBoss) June 10, 2018

holy shit

lol it’s like happy days crossed with what’s the scariest gigantic statue

bellissimo

https://pbs.twimg.com/card_img/1010146669302870016/FBOi1kKS?format=jpg&name=800x419

A prestigious private girls’ school has faced strong criticism after holding an “austerity day” where students dined on baked potatoes, beans and coleslaw.

St Paul’s Girls’ School in west London was accused of being “tone deaf” after it tweeted about the charity fundraiser which saw staff and students eating “simple food” in place of the fare they are normally served.

It said money saved on dinners at the £24,000-a-year school – whose former pupils include actors Rachel Weisz and Natasha Richardson – would go towards the school’s charities.

Really fancy a baked potato now

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/af/Vincent_Van_Gogh_-_The_Potato_Eaters.png

Tato, beans, butter, blue cheese, feast fit for a private schoolgirl that

behold the drab potatoes of austerity

Bombay Potatoes would be at least equal or cheaper to make than jackets with beans and cheese, but that wouldn't be austerity!

Look you're not helping my supper cravings here calz

I've just killed a 250g bag of roasted monkey nuts, so moreish!

Got a total potato craving, haven't really been hungry for a week and I'm fairly hungover today but I want some full fat carbs

I did some slow-cooked pork chops in honey, garlic and onion gravy with mashed potatoes (with butter + double cream) earlier, it was pretty fucking good tbh!

Never thought of slow cooking pork chops, normally grill/fry them hot and fast. How long d'you give them?

I haven’t had carbs for like six weeks and suddenly today I’m hoofing down oxtail stew and coconut rice chased by half a bag of stroopwafels.

I've got everything I need for rice and peas tbh, that might do as a substitute

Made the oxtail with short rib instead, totally recommend.

xxxp
about 2 1/2 hours in veg stock, honey, garlic, red wine vinegar (the recipe specified rice vinegar, but I'm a maverick) at gas mark 2, and turning occasionally is what I did and it was pretty good.

Pork chops are one of those meats where the margin between lush and inedible is pretty tight

getting a digital meat thermometer changed my life in this area iirc

The Chinese seem to have mastered the lush side of pork, i'm way dodgy with it and probably why I'm still trying different ways of cooking it all the time. My attempts at recreating Chinese takeaway style pork dishes have been bad to absolute inedible tbh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=RB3ruxchwaY

corvids4eva

Corvidista ^^^

oooohhh, knaresborough corvid

Might be a good week for Real England pictures...

Genuinely chilling, proper ‘banality of evil’ stuff

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-suffolk-44859082/ex-ukip-councillor-made-999-call-after-murdering-wife

Someone has glued a dildo to the kings royal hussar regimental headquarters and the infrastructure company that manage it say its not a priority so it will be attended to in 40 days pic.twitter.com/KCgmtRaIXL

— Felicity Morse (@FelicityMorse) July 25, 2018

hell yes

Missing 99 dildos and a mannequin Vladimir Putin IMO

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/8xbgzb/the-guy-who-put-dildos-all-over-the-wall-street-bull-explains-himself

Richard Digance@RichardDigance
The sleepy city of Salisbury became the most highlighted place in the world on 4th March 2018, when Sergei and Yulia Skripal were found collapsed on a bench, victims of a nerve agent known as Novichok, manufactured in Russia.

10:53 AM - 9 Aug 2018

Richard Digance@RichardDigance
For many weeks Salisbury partly closed for business and Richard, a Salisbury resident, along with his neighbours, wondered how the story would end.

10:53 AM - 9 Aug 2018

Richard Digance@RichardDigance
It’s hardly surprising that Richard wrote a song about the incident and thus the title track of his latest album. Everyone in Salisbury had been affected and it took two months before things returned to anything normal.

10:53 AM - 9 Aug 2018

Richard Digance@RichardDigance
On 11th June Richard went into his recording studio with the idea of the song and little else. At that very moment none of the songs on his latest album had been written. In just one intensive week, working 15 hours a day, the album came to be.

10:53 AM - 9 Aug 2018

Richard Digance@RichardDigance
All the songs were written and recorded in one week, yes seven days. They were mixed and mastered in a further two days after Tom Leary had stayed at the house and added fiddle, mandolin and a few nice bendy guitar riffs. All was complete.

10:53 AM - 9 Aug 2018

Richard Digance@RichardDigance
Richard then set about painting the front cover artwork which took another day and then it was down to Nick Curtis to finalise the album. Once finalised, the title track, Salisbury, was sent to Charlotte Murray who produced the video you can watch in my next tweet!

10:53 AM - 9 Aug 2018

http://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=120&v=b_7EKFO2jrA

Not bad but I think it needs an eagle flying out of the night

what he shd've done was put a banging donk on it

Bruce Dickinson William Blake gravestone reveal

Chuckle Brothers star Barry's funeral held in Rotherham
This is unbelievably moving and also unbelievably Real England.

That list of funeral guests is outstandingly real and English. I wonder what kept Joe Longthorne away.

Lisa Scranage, 45, and her fiance Mark Kitchen, 37, got to the stadium with her 14-year-old son Ryan at 10:00 BST, having travelled from Featherstone.

to me
to me
to me
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to me

this is extraordinary

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2018/aug/18/tony-adams-arsenal-fish-and-chips-football-drinking-culture

I’ve had three ice-creams already today.

Each paragraph is like a piece of flash fiction complete with a curveball at the end.

fucking hell

he’s a living breathing david peace character

what dark secrets does he hold

Millwall, where it’s still pretty much hot dog.

superb

that is wonderful

and definitely larded