So glad that the season of multinationals pretending, badly, to be into football is here
― Karius whisper (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 June 2018 09:51 (five years ago) link
Watching footballers, or any sportsperson, having to do even the tiniest bit of acting is always excruciating.
― Poisoned by Johan's pea soup. (Tom D.), Saturday, 2 June 2018 10:15 (five years ago) link
I heard some of the worlds top scientists have arranged, Fantastic Voyage style, a micro sub shrunk to almost molecule size, to get to the centre of Ryan Giggs brain - to work out how the thick cunt even manages to breath!
― calzino, Saturday, 2 June 2018 10:29 (five years ago) link
Wiltshire Farms frozen meals for olds are so depressingly 1950s school dinner they make me want to give up food.
Postcode Lottery: maybe try not employing utter twats.
Peace, keep up the good work, creatives.
― Karius whisper (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 June 2018 11:54 (five years ago) link
I see fewer adverts these days than I ever have, I think. But they horrify me much more.
― Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Saturday, 2 June 2018 12:26 (five years ago) link
Yeah I'm probably watching more TV than I have in years and most adverts are like acid on my soul
― Karius whisper (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 June 2018 12:42 (five years ago) link
everything about those Knoppers ads screams "made in Germany" but his lips look like they're speaking English
― VAR VAR Rasputin (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 15:34 (five years ago) link
and that’s why we’re leaving the eu
― CARL MARKS PRINCIPAL INVESTING AND ADVISORY SERVICES (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 15:39 (five years ago) link
paging Dktr Oetker
― koogs, Wednesday, 13 June 2018 16:29 (five years ago) link
i like his pizzas tho
― VAR VAR Rasputin (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 17:11 (five years ago) link
they don't taste like pizza but they do taste nice.
― Heavy Messages (jed_), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 18:09 (five years ago) link
^ neu advertising slogan for Herr Doktor Oetker.
― We can be herpes (Tom D.), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 18:11 (five years ago) link
I've just watched a dog singing so maybe the Knoppers ad was in German originally
― VAR VAR Rasputin (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 18:47 (five years ago) link
lol Tom
― Heavy Messages (jed_), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 19:03 (five years ago) link
Awesome there's a guy who looks a bit like Richard Herring dancing round the house to "Come Up and See Me" because he's got bone-on pills
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:16 (five years ago) link
That dishwasher advert with people singing "This Little Light of Mine" is quite kill worthy
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:18 (five years ago) link
And it's a horrible Top of the Pops album type cover of "Come Up and See Me" too.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:18 (five years ago) link
I wasn't paying much attention to the music I was too busy being gobsmacked that they were celebrating erections thru the medium of interpretive dance
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:20 (five years ago) link
Are you sure it isn’t Richard herring
― U. K. Le Garage (wins), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:28 (five years ago) link
Does he have erectile dysfunction y/n?
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:32 (five years ago) link
If he has I'm sure he'd have done a routine about it by now.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:33 (five years ago) link
P sure he’s done dozens Hold up imma ask
― U. K. Le Garage (wins), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:34 (five years ago) link
Entire show it appears.
http://benjaminhendy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/TalkingCock.jpg
― Dan Worsley, Friday, 22 June 2018 20:36 (five years ago) link
dear Andrex if you don't pack it in with "how clean do you feel?" I *will* find your copy writer and I *will* mummify them in bog roll
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 21:22 (five years ago) link
I'll join you
― kinder, Friday, 22 June 2018 21:25 (five years ago) link
but they are kids!
― koogs, Friday, 22 June 2018 21:32 (five years ago) link
Nothing worse than child actors reading cutesey what-kids-say lines thought up by 35 year old Oxbridge cokeheads.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 21:50 (five years ago) link
it's a battle of repulsion between
1. child actors reading cutesey what-kids-say lines thought up by 35 year old Oxbridge cokeheads.2. child actors with adult voices (some car advert i can't find from a few years ago that had 5 year old boys talking in northern gammon type voices about miles per gallon or whatever)3. adult actors with kids voices e.g. Haribo.
I think 3 has to be the worst.
― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:23 (five years ago) link
I remember that car advert, think it might've been for one of those Vauxhall 7 seaters whatever they're called
― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:25 (five years ago) link
LOL one of the actors in the Haribo advert is a nodding acquaintance in a pub I frequent.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:27 (five years ago) link
That is not his real voice in the advert.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:31 (five years ago) link
how do you know if you've only nodded to him?
― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:33 (five years ago) link
I have spoken to him several times. Also he is a bit of loud actorly type.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:37 (five years ago) link
ok then, i believe you...
― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:38 (five years ago) link
(example of 2 that springs to mind is the insurance ads with kids voiced by fry and Laurie. Choccy topping?)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rXTLBX-7foU
― koogs, Saturday, 23 June 2018 00:58 (five years ago) link
so apparently this horrible grating guff is Daniel Johnston, idk what the fuck is wrong with people
― Swedes and Löw (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 26 June 2018 00:18 (five years ago) link
tbf you probably wouldn't like the original either, but it's a horrible grating advertising company bollocks cover of a Daniel Johnston song
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 26 June 2018 07:07 (five years ago) link
OK I owe him half an apology. Really never want to hear "Blue Monday" ever again either.
― Swedes and Löw (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 26 June 2018 08:02 (five years ago) link
One thing worse is that the lines are not like anything a child might say, these people don't know any children.
― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Tuesday, 26 June 2018 08:13 (five years ago) link
It's the fake laffing of the child carer or parent or whatever that is worse.
― Mark G, Tuesday, 26 June 2018 08:32 (five years ago) link
omg yes "i can't believe you've asked this outrageous and mildly distasteful question that i read in the script last night"
― Swedes and Löw (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 26 June 2018 08:34 (five years ago) link
Them feebs that don't have time in their lives to pick up a prescription are laying it on a bit thick
― Kroos on first (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 28 June 2018 09:28 (five years ago) link
it just makes sense
― koogs, Thursday, 28 June 2018 10:16 (five years ago) link
"i'm quadraplegic and live in the middle of a tall forest guarded by a witch so no way have i got time to pick up my NHS prescription"
― Kroos on first (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 28 June 2018 10:18 (five years ago) link
Lottery advert where an actor talks about his 3 imaginary friends in the vaguest possible terms is maddeningly lazy
― Neymar, Mr Nice Guy (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 4 July 2018 23:54 (five years ago) link
I've just seen an Apple advert that does use a Daniel Johnson song, so if it was that one you were objecting to NV that's not a cover, but there is another advert that's been on for ages with a horrible cover of True Love Will Find You In The End that I thought you were talking about.
― Colonel Poo, Thursday, 5 July 2018 06:54 (five years ago) link
J2O : Crappy CGI orange Lama vs BBQ.
truly woeful.
― mark e, Thursday, 5 July 2018 07:25 (five years ago) link
Yeah Col I looked up the dog advert and was surprised it was Johnson cos I didn't think he'd sound like George Ezra.
The Apple song annoys partly cos of the cognitive mismatch of the actors and the song, but the song itself - stupid non sequitur lyric, faux old timey production that sounds grating rather than old timey, might as well throw a ukelele in there...I'm sure it's not the sum total of his work but it's too tweecore for me, especially in the context of trying to sell stuff.
― Neymar, Mr Nice Guy (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 5 July 2018 08:10 (five years ago) link
"Really never want to hear "Blue Monday" ever again either."
I thought this but then I realised that I only thought I didn't and that I do.
I like this cover of the Daniel Johnson song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBV7m_VeCLY
― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Thursday, 5 July 2018 11:29 (five years ago) link
Oh I wondered, ta.
― Mark G, Thursday, 5 July 2018 19:36 (five years ago) link