ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

Had mine in 1990, no regrets. I had the version where my dick wasn't cut off.

i did it too. the procedure itself was not exactly painless for me but the recovery was pretty easy.

ive heard they give you a valium ahead of time which is pretty nice of them

If no dick is cut off it’s not a true vasectomy

Mine was non-scalpel but didn't involve a soldering iron or cauterization.

Local anaesthetic, tiny incision made with tiny scissors; the doctor fished out the requisite plumbing and went snip snip, clip clip. Tucked everything back inside and sewed the incision back up with one or two dissolving stitches.

Dang does this always involve going inside the nutsack?

That's where the magic happens, so yeah.

for years my wife was like "get a vasectomy" then I scheduled one and she read through all the stuff about the procedure and got scared and told me not to do it. *shrug emoticon*

Dang does this always involve going inside the nutsack?

medical professionals call it the 'fantastic voyage' iirc

They can now zap kidney stones with lasers noninvasively; surely some time in the future they won't need to do any scrotal violence.

Honestly men, compared to decades of IUDs / pills / diaphragms / condoms / Norplant or whatever (not to mention menstruation itself), a vasectomy (performed in the time it takes to watch an episode of Seinfeld) is NBD.

I was waiting for that. Thank you.

b-b-but our precious family jewels

we talkin' with commercials or without

Menstruation is a drag but if anything saving my dong eliminates a not bad number of those

lol frogbs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvirak5biLM

The cauterising method used here, too. The smell of singeing scrotum is not one I'll forget.

The smell of victory

Guys come back to us ladies when you have that pain 4 days a week erry month :P

(but on that note, I cant recommenmd Implanon highly enuff - havent had a period for like 2 years and it has been AWESOME)

yeah, my wife was on implanon for like 15 years before we starting trying for a baby and had like maybe three periods during that entire time, she fucking hated it when she had it taken out and the periods returned

The cauterising method used here, too. The smell of singeing scrotum is not one I'll forget.

― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, June 5, 2018 10:12 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

was wondering about this but decided not to ask

yup same here
a friend had a varicose vein burnt out or whatever they do and he described the smell in great detail

https://i.imgur.com/ZMl9Jah.gif

to be fair the smell of babby being born is not so great, or so I hear

I knew a doctor about 20 yrs ago who performed his own vasectomy. I have no idea if that is normal. He was a weird dude.

D:

I hate these Friday night socials where you’re supposed to mix and mingle and act all chummy with the other parents. I should really go live in a cave somewhere.

depends on the parents, I find.

I had a baby born in my kitchen and did not notice any unpleasant smells. I had my scrotum cauterised and did not notice any unpleasant smells.

Are you Abbott?

How, how, how are children so ridiculously tired at 6pm that they act up in every way possible and then some, yet still aren't asleep 3 hours after putting them to bed?

and God forbid they fall asleep in the car for 30 seconds because then it's game over for any kind of going to sleep before 11pm.

and babies be waking up every 2 hours day and night.

maniacs, all of them

Disgusting savages

tiny jerks

I’m so done with the baby stage.

my daughter finished this high school this week. I think she was 4 when I started posting here. my son starts high school in the fall. #3 is in middle school. they're not babies for long!

I started a "recommend colleges for my daughter" thread back when and this Wednesday she turns 30.

my daughter is 16 days old today! time flies man

baby stage is exhausting and I'm barely sleeping, plus totally isolating ime, plus difficult to entertain, BUT they are portable and you don't have to worry about bringing snacks or giving them their drink in the wrong colour cup or them not making it to the toilet in time, so I'm kind of appreciating it apart from the no friends or sleep thing.

I liked babies. They lay there gurgling and playing with their feet or whatever.

I like big kids who can go to a museum and look at paintings and talk about music.

The stuff in between seems to last forever. Spare me the "middle school ALREADY?" stuff. I love them to pieces but I have felt every. fucking. Second. of the last 12 years.

The time has not flown. Quite the contrary. It's the pre-kid life (restaurants, movies, sleeping in on Sundays, going to concerts, having money) that flew.

yeah I remember hearing "don't panic, it gets easier" a lot but what they don't say is that it also gets harder in a lot of ways. its amazing how fast you go from "I wish I didn't have to carry you everywhere" to "holy shit stay still for 10 seconds so I can put your goddamn shoes on". my oldest is 3 1/2 and he's already at the stage where if he really wants to be defiant there isn't a whole lot I can do about it.

of course that said not sleeping really is the worst so in that sense it does get easier. I remember the first night we got 6 straight hours of sleep, it felt like the clouds parted. plus you do get better as a parent. i'm really, really good at multitasking now.

a few months ago my wife was between jobs so she took the kids to see her family in Mexico for a couple weeks. it was fun to not have any responsibility for a while and get to sleep in and all that but your life does feel pretty aimless when they're not around. your social life at 32 isn't going to be what it was at 20 or 25, people drift apart and the world seems a bit less exciting. I miss the days when I could go out and see like 30 people I knew in the same night. but I guess the positive way to look at it is that I've already got everything important out of life so there's less to look for on the outside. i'm in a much better place emotionally.

my baby has a particularly delighted laugh that he saves for when he's puked all over me

Also I've realised that parenting means spending 50% of your time yelling 'hold on, wait, just stay there' and 50% yelling 'come on, quick, get a move on'

Truth.

Was out to dinner last night and the kid had to shit. It kind of messed with my head because it was so massive that I really couldn’t comprehend how it fit into his body. I kind of had to walk it off for a while before I could return to my food.

"alexa, play buttholes by asshole"

Hahaa we have similar with Siri. "Siri, fuck you!" etc

So we went on holiday to France during a heatwave and Casper, 5 months old, got a bacterial skin infection, because he's such a fat baby, and ended up in a French hospital for three days and it was hellish but we're home now and he's OK so it's all good.

fuuuck

Aw, poor guy. I'm glad that everything's alright now.