The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

with the exception of one set that's pretty much all the armor in the game

Eh I dunno about the Tingle armour...

yesterday was zelda of july. i played maybe 12 hours?? that's off the chart for me.

so many sex and drugs references in this game! “when we get into hyrule castle we’re gonna light that thing up!” hell yeah, you know the drill, daruk. we're gonna have sex with four 100-foot tall fairies too, it'll be amazing.

i've finally unlocked all the towers, found the master sword, getting ready to take down the final divine beast (the one in the Hebra region, for me). i still haven't ventured anywhere near hyrule castle yet. i have used my charge-up special attack (augmented by the gerudo thunderblast special ability thing) twice, maybe three times, total?

This game is absurdly horny, Link is a tiny long-haired androgyne constantly being objectified by women ranging in size from large to enormous, not to mention Bolson.

last night they mentioned his "perfectly symmetrical face"

I know ive said this before:
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/zelda/images/2/2d/Bolson_comment_%28Breath_of_the_Wild%29.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/596?cb=20170411172618

And yeah all the great fairies are awesome, like these 10 foot tall drag queens or something.

i'm not even sure that i've met Bolson!

i love how the game manages to feel huge and still accessible and explorable at the same time.

bolson is camp af

Bolson and co are working on the house behind Hateno village you can opt to buy.

oh thanks! that explains why i haven't seen them in a while - gathering 30 wood has taken way longer than i expected, although i guess i'm not going out of my way to find any. i guess the benefit of buying a house is that you get to own a house in zelda, and plus store extra weapons there?

Yeah thats about it really, haha. Only 3 of each item as well (3 weapons, 3 sheields, 3 bows). Ive kept the really rare/unfarmable stuff like the royal guard gear and forest dweller gear (I thought I read somewhere the sword doesnt respawn Not sure tho. )

update: yep it doesnt, teres only 4 korok swords in the game. Its p useless as a weapon anyway.

Arrrgh this last champions ballad shrine is fucking doing my head in. Needlessly, pointlessly hard. Being thrown right back to the start every time... I tried about 10 times then just gave up, grr.

i have finally defeated The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

i only regret that i didn't pick up the final memory before beating it, which i'm 99% sure was hidden somewhere hyrule castle. but damn, that was so much fun! i'm at 100 hours or so right now, but i'll probably add on more as i revisit. plus i might end up getting the master sword DLC

jesus you finished that fast!

Get the DLC - it has a map addition that shows you where on the map you've been. I guarantee you'll find you missed a ton of areas/things.

yeah, getting to Ganon didn't take nearly as much work as i thought it would! i ended up approaching Hyrule from the east, just kind of gliding over the moat and climbing up a ledge. after accidentally finding the library and fucking around in there for about an hour, somehow i just popped up near the end. i think i was probably a little overleveled, too - i accidentally had zora outfit equipped the whole time and still managed to get through without getting damaged too badly.

the DLC will be a great way to revisit this in a month or two!

i just opened this for the first time since january and i have NO idea what’s going on.

when i stopped playing i had massively cracked the shits with the zora boss, so i’ve left that dungeon with the intention to level up or embellish tunic or whatever people do in this game. having forgotten like 2/3 of the commands i’m stumbling around some rocks just utterly confused, like when you give your grandparents an android phone and ask them to check the weather. i’m not even THAT old. this morning i beat mario odyssey for the fourth time ffs.

Haha I get that when swapping from Wii to PS, cos the controls are exactly the reverse of each other nrrrghhh.

so i just spent several hours wandering around completely empty countryside, occasionally getting one-hit killed by things i never even got to see, then i got caught up in some terrible platformer with rubbish edge detection, and now i'm following some bastard leaf creature into a forest even though i can't fucking see him (because i'm not supposed to?) and the game keeps throwing me back to the start without any warning. i get most people like this game but for the life of me (and after 30+ hours) i don't get why. this is not fun.

and now i'm following some bastard leaf creature into a forest even though i can't fucking see him (because i'm not supposed to?) and the game keeps throwing me back to the start without any warning

just finished it

Haha, yeah I failed that one several times before figuring it out.

The nice thing about botw is that you can wander aimlessly if you want to, or focus on the next task if you get bored. What’s left for you? You could try to take down a divine beast? Or head toward one of the labyrinths that’s visible from the map?

if you haven't journeyed into the desert, that was my favorite beast. i stumbled onto it after getting momentarily bored with the game and it was so great i wholeheartedly dove back in

i will say this, though - i was a bit disappointed in the divine beasts, especially because whilst hyping myself up by reading ILG before starting it seemed like they were some people's favorite part of the game. i think that whatever divine beast you tackle first is a wonderful experience. there's a little build-up to it in the surrounding area, often you have to prepare the elements by getting special equipment or cooking, and there's a nice action-puzzle even to get access into the beast. then you approach the second beast (whichever one), and it's the same exact process. even the same little messages you get from within the beast are the same. then the third. then the fourth. by the time i got to the fourth one i wasn't even thinking about what would happen when i approached the beast; it was all preordained. kind of a missed opportunity there to make these giant huge setpieces a little more unique.

xp that camel was a drab hell

I agree, Karl. I think wandering around the hugeworld, finding the occasional shrine or challenging monster is much better than the divine beasts experience. However, the rewards from beating the divine beasts are good.

i agree the beasts themselves were kind of a letdown. the camel itself was my least favorite beast but the journey to get there was my favorite and more than makes up for it.

oh ok. that makes more sense. think we can all agree: fuck that camel.

heheh yeah. the beast puzzles are just a bit overkill. they work in the shrines cos it's one puzzle and you can go off and do something else if you get stuck, whereas in the beasts it's several in a row and they are more complicated and you know you HAVE to sit there and work it out. by the camel i was immediately looking at youtube walkthroughs.

however i did enjoy the design of them, the story around them, and the way you have to approach each one in a different manner, like shooting the camel's glowing feet. but then the gameplay comes crashing down again, it feels like the puzzles are there for padding. still, you only have to do it 4 times in the entire game.

I think the idea of them was cool because there was a natural element of infiltration and taming THE BEAST*. But the puzzles inside felt even more contrived because of this more natural intro. Ok, so you have to manipulate the beast's controls to gain access to certain areas, but there's still no reason for that box to be on rails up there on the ceiling.

*hello, king's island fans

hated the dumb beasts and just youtube’d my way through them as quick as possible

What’s left for you? You could try to take down a divine beast? Or head toward one of the labyrinths that’s visible from the map?

honestly i think 95% of the game is still left for me! i just finished all the korok trials (surprised myself tbh – that last one was frustrating until i went crazy with bombs), but since that seems to have gotten me nowhere (what the fuck??) i'm at a bit of a loss as to why i just did all that. appreciate your tips btw.

also the reason i've been able to play loads of zelda is i'm sick as hell this week, which is probably also the reason i don't have a lot of patience.

i hit a nice gameplay loop that lasted for hours 30-60 which was basically:

find a new tower and climb/unlock the 'district' (note: i am the only person who calls these districts)
find and explore the main town and stable in the district
find and beat 4 (or more) shrines in the district
upgrade heart/stamina
do a sidequest or two involving the people in the main town/stable of the district
find the memory/photo for the district
at this point you've probably accidentally made progress on something in another district, so go back there and explore some new stuff, then go find a new tower or take on a divine beast if you've found one

or, multitasking: take on an exploratory sidequest (like find 10 of x in the mountains or whatever) and then while you're bumbling around looking for that, look for shrines and collect some gemstones for $ as well

oh that’s brilliant. i did unlock a load of towers/shrines last year but didn’t go into quest detail, and forgot all about the skyrim-type side quests. cheers km, fantastic advice.

i just want everyone to have a fun time :)

are things really broken down so nicely by districts? feel like I may have missed an entire village if so.

Not really, but almost all of them have at least some sort of populated area with side quests, and I think actually all of them have stables?

i just want everyone to have a fun time :)

<3

just realised i have about 25 unfinished side quests, half of them from the expansion pack. one of them has got me finding hateno beach which i’ve apparently walked past but not into.

how's your korok seed count? it blows my mind that there are 900. i felt like i explored pretty thoroughly and only came across 150 or so

13

wait, 10

you've probably ran across a bunch more but didn't realize it! like whenever you see a set of objects that seems just barely incomplete somehow, that's usually a korok puzzle. they're all over the place once you know how to look for them (which reminds me of a quality in one of my favorite ever games The Witness, once you realize in that game that the 3D environment around the puzzles is also a puzzle)

Adam if yr getting 1 hit killed u should level up yer hearts more and also go see the fairies and strengthen yr armour! Then bokoblins/moblins etc are more of a doddle.

I wish the yiga would fuck off and stop sniping at me while I'm in the middle of something else! *busy fighting a lynel* "ya ha haaaaaa!" OH PISS OFF.

PS I still cant finish that last DLC shrine, its the one full of 1-kill spikes all over the place. It is soooo frustrating and there is no way to cheat.

you've probably ran across a bunch more but didn't realize it! like whenever you see a set of objects that seems just barely incomplete somehow, that's usually a korok puzzle. they're all over the place once you know how to look for them

glad you mentioned this because i've since found 20 more. i should be paying you for your service tbh

trayce: i knocked over a load of shrines (using walkthroughs off the web, cbf ~solving puzzles~ with this fucking illness on the go) and bumped up my hearts to 8. it's nowhere enough for serious things e.g. robot octopus with laser beams but it's saved me from a few falls.

btw as great as it's been to sink a few days into this game, this throat infection is painful as fuck and has cost me a load of pay (i contract, if i don't work i don't earn) so i am megagrumpy rn. sorry if that comes across. just got penicillin which fucks me off as i object massively to taking antibiotics for anything less than the exorcist-grade vomiting.