Swiping people left and right: the Tinder/hook-up culture discussion

Is okcupid where you've been having all your success?

i am now killing it more on the online thing than i ever have,
i am now killing it more on the online thing than i ever have,
i am now killing it more on the online thing than i ever have,
i am now killing it more on the online thing than i ever have,
i am now killing it more on the online thing than i ever have,

much respect global!

okc did make some changes last year that made it more tinder-like. you can't just message someone. you have to have a mutual swipe first. or you can send a message with a like/swipe and hope they see it.

that’s probably a good change, i also noticed that tinder and hinge conspicuously do not allow you to send pictures in DM, i can only manage the horror if that weren’t the case. weirdly i’m doing the best on tinder, although that’s practically just a video game, it’s so low stakes. in terms of meeting people okc is still best

A belated ‘aw’ at omar!

the height thing doesn't bother me too much, although I have often pondered what it'd be like to date a woman over six feet tall

I dated a woman who lied about her height on OKC - she was 6'1" but said 5'11" because she would get almost no messages/responses telling the truth.

don't tell anyone but i just joined tinder. i feel a mixture of excitement and shame

re: height, I'm only about 5'7" so when I was using Tinder I noted that I wasn't super tall cause I know a lot of people are really hung up on that sort of thing (personally I don't care at all either way)

went on an actual tinder date, still feel sense of excitement and shame

where does it say height on Tinder? There doesn't seem to be much details of anything at all beyond photos and the odd sentence of explanatory text?

ad hoc explanatory text standards

yeah, some woman have either "i am very tall in case that's a problem" or "sorry but i don't tend to be attracted to men shorter than me (5'8")" etc.

and some men are like "i am 5'6" in case that's an issue"

as a 6'2" cishet dude i have always been supportive of women not liking short dudes (。^_・)ノ

don't really mind the height advisories or umm requirements i guess. went on one date with a girl i thought might be tall-ish from her photos. she ended up being probably about 6' and i'm all of 5'9" in shoes. i could see her face sort of fall when i walked into the restaurant. :-/

this might be a regional thing but i see A LOT of bottle-blonde stepford types who prominently advertise their CHRISTIANITY and who are insistent about men being over 6'. like what kind of crypto-fascist super soldiers are you looking to spawn, Madison?

loooooool

the height thing is something I've never understood in general as a criterion, I only mind it when it is the only thing someone mentions. I realize it is very much a buyer's market for men and they can get away with not saying anything, but still

I'm 5'9 and always put that in my bio since it's right on the bubble for some women--and then always feel sheepish when I see women's profiles making fun of men for disclosing their height...

yeah i considered it but ended up not doing so. since the one incident if i match w someone who appears to be partic tall i'll mention my height while messaging, hopefully in a nonchalant jokey way and not in a defensive weird way. most don't seem to care, but most have been 5'10" or less....

then always feel sheepish when I see women's profiles making fun of men for disclosing their height

yeah see stuff like this drove me absolutely insane (though I realize that women put up with way worse from dudes on these things every minute)

I think people putting caveats on things is worse ("only mentioning my height because it's been a common question")

then again, after seeing a bunch of women complain about men doing too many shirtless pics I put a "I lost all my shirtless pics in a fire :(" joke on there for a bit

i generally only like short men

i only like shirt men

three or four shirts at once, can't get enough shirts

might want to double-think who the most publicized multi-shirt-wearers are before committing to that one

what is bannon's height

i only like shirt men

three or four shirts at once, can't get enough shirts

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 23 July 2018 18:28 (thirty-nine minutes ago) Permalink

Ralph Fiennes in Spider is p much your perfect man

xp. bannon is slightly short, I'm guessing 5'8", 5'9"

i def have "no burners" on my tinder prof. im closed minded sorry!

I thought "but you're messaging on the app, you don't need disposable phones"

then remember, oh.. yeah.

bay area lol

all shirt, no bannon

i'm a 30 year old straight, white, male. i've been single for nearly 3 years and i haven't really thought much about it until recently. i've never uploaded a picture of myself to the internet or even taken a selfie, and i do not engage in social media in anyway because it all seems so narcissistic to me. i only post here when i'm drinking and i've been lurking for damn near 10 years now.

my question is this, should i get a wild hair, and dip my toe into the online dating world, be it tinder or something else, how odd is it that i have no online presence to account for? It seems like the first thing I would do, if i got a match with someone, would be to check google.com to see if they were real. do i need to create a facebook page to prove that I exist and that people can tolerate me?

i'm very happy with my life right now but it would be silly to pretend that i'll never want any other companionship down the road and i seem ill prepared for today's dating world. are people crosschecking profiles or am i prematurely worried about nothing? if i exist, and there no one to tweet about it, do i really exist?

in my experience, your instagram feed is generally the thing people check to make sure you're not a murderer

just do whatever you feel is righteous and own that shit buddy

dd85 -

but what happens with the person you're interested in doesn't have a instragram feed? can i just put "not a murderer" in my profile and that will suffice or does not having and instagram automatically make me murderer material?

make I Am Not A Murderer your username imo

hello from another longtime lurker who only posts when something super pertinent comes up / the Go-Betweens are mentioned

my partner had zero social media when we met online. it felt odd but also of a piece with his character, might have even made him a bit more interesting to me. it also removed a lot of early dating pitfalls (daydream gazing at profiles / snap character judgements / friend request etiquette etc.). so I wouldn't worry, setting up an online life that doesn't feel authentic to you just for this would probably feel weirder and sweatier to both parties than some fruitless Google searches imo

xps i didn't have an instagram when i rejoined the dating pool but on the advice of my sister i decided to create one because it makes things slightly easier. despite my strong cynicism towards the platform and culture, i was finally convinced with the argument that "no one ever wishes they took fewer pictures"

saint augustine iirc

i only post here when i'm drinking

you've been posting a lot lately!! take it easy buddy

the smaller the online footprint the hotter they are ime

as someone very online i 100% agree that i prefer meeting ppl who are not very online

also the normalisation of everyone having a big presence to be browsed by potential customers is gross and excludes a lot of ppl who have certain jobs/stalkers/sufficient self-respect

If you think it'll be a big deal, I'd say just find a way to mention it in your profile. You expressed it pretty well above - the obvious question would be are you then looking for someone who also doesn't have much of a presence?

Jesus, I’m in love and this is the simultaneous worst and best thing to happen to me in years

rt

falling in love rocks

Unfortunately sometimes rocks like getting into a new drug

https://www.twincities.com/2020/02/09/elite-matchmaker-tinder-valentines-stillwater-love/

In her initial interview with potential clients, Fultz asks if they are open to feedback and suggestions. “If you’re not, you know, that’s kind of defeating the purpose,” she said. “Why would you go to a personal trainer at the gym if you’re not going to follow the recommendations?”

Among Fultz’s feedback: No swearing. No chewing with your mouth open. Don’t show too much skin. Don’t have more than three drinks on a date. Don’t move too fast physically.

Fultz’s clients are guaranteed at least three dates during each six-month session, but they often go on multiple dates with their match. If clients begin dating a match, they can put their membership “on hold” for as long as they want, she said.

that's almost $3000 per date

if we followed the three drink rule, I never would have had my best relationship ten years ago.

but I realize three drinks affect people differently.

have there been, like, scholarly studies of 21st century american yuppies and their dogs? b/c jesus christ, there are more dogs than people here