can i vote in this
― Neuer write off the germans (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:29 (five years ago) link
heres a funny line
i hope all of you die roaring
― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:29 (five years ago) link
ilxor: it’s rainingTom D: Never heard of it. Probably from that America
― jeremy cmbyn (wins), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:30 (five years ago) link
the Tuomas we deserve
― sassysquatch (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:33 (five years ago) link
I don't know too many American Things, true, this is probably the wrong place for me.
― Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:33 (five years ago) link
funny bcz lol at everyone itt
― mark s, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:34 (five years ago) link
TIFU by starting an Excelsior thread.
― how's life, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:34 (five years ago) link
howslifetifu
― jeremy cmbyn (wins), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:37 (five years ago) link
Bananaman Begins' joke was fairly average, but his username is still the funniest on ILX
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:37 (five years ago) link
it'a clearly an allusion to the reddit potato thing, with the purpose of pointing out that this is also bullshit. it is a solid ilx post the likes of which the site subsists on and falls into the broad category of "funny" even if i'm not roflmao. as is so often the case, the spotlight of the excelsior thread did it a disservice, and it certainly didn't warrant this thread on top of that. i think everyone involved should apologize to bananaman
― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:39 (five years ago) link
Bananaman = A British Thing
― Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:40 (five years ago) link
ugh classic tom d, british when it's good, scottish when it's tripe
― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:41 (five years ago) link
You say po-tay-to, I like bukkake
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:42 (five years ago) link
Joke is basically: two different boneheads exposing their boneheadedness by boneheadedly trying to point out the boneheadedness of people who are clearly far less boneheaded than them are, in fact, the same bonehead. It ain't high art but it'll do, pig.
― Things To Do For Dinner When You're Dad (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:49 (five years ago) link
the fuck you calling a bonehead
― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:51 (five years ago) link
no aspersions cast on the BB pun that caused all this btw
― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:52 (five years ago) link
It ain't high art but it'll do, pig
My favorite Zappa song
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:54 (five years ago) link
do I really have to go on reddit to find out what the potato thing is
― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:59 (five years ago) link
Better to live a day as a bonehead than a lifetime as a tony mccarroll
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:59 (five years ago) link
Have to read Christopher Durang
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 17:59 (five years ago) link
katherine:
TIFU by enraging the parents of my girlfriend by pretending not to know what a potato is.submitted 3 years ago by NotKnowPotatox4Let me tell you that I have made a bad mistake this evening.My girlfriend (who let me tell you is only my 2nd girlfriend of all time) said I am "invited to dinner" with her and her parents. I was very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation. But I knew it must be done.I met them nicely, I should tell you, and it started off in a good way. The idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit, to make a good impression and become known to them as a person who is amusing.When I saw that baked potatoes were served I got the idea that it would be very good if I pretended I did not know what potatoes was. That would be funny.Well let me tell you: backfired on my face. I'll tell you how.So first when the potato became on my plate, I acted very interesting. I showed an expression on my face so as to seem that I was confused, astounded but in a restrained way, curious, and interested. They did notice, and seemed confused, but did not remark. So I asked "This looks very interesting. What is this?"They stared at me and the mother said "It's a baked potato." And I was saying "Oh, interesting, a baked....what is it again?"And she was like "A potato."And I was like "A 'potato', oh interesting. Never heard of a potato, looks pretty good."And then they didn't see I was clowning, but thought I really did not know what is a potato. So I knew I would be very shamed, humiliated, depressed, and disgusted if I admitted to making a bad joke, so what I did was to act as if it was not a joke but I committed to the act of pretending I didn't know what a potato is.They asked me, VERY incredulous, did I really not know what a potato is? That I never heard of a potato. I went with it and told them, yes, I did not ever even hear of a potato. Not only had I never eaten a potato I had never heard the word potato.This went on for a bit and my girlfriend was acting very confused and embarrassed by my "fucked up antics", and then the more insistent I was about not knowing what a potato is was when them parents starting thinking I DID know what a potato was.Well let me tell you I had to commit 100% at this point. When I would not admit to knowing what a potato was, the father especially began to get annoyed. At one point he said something like "Enough is enough. You're fucking with us. Admit it." And I said "Sir, before today I never heard of a potato. I still don't know what a potato is, other than some kind of food. I don't know what to tell you."Well let me tell you he got very annoyed. I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange!"That is when the father started yelling at me, and the mother kept saying "What are you doing?" and my girlfriend went to some other room.Finally the father said I should "Get the fuck out of his house" and I said it was irrational to treat me like this just because I never heard of a potato before. Well let me tell you he didn't take that kindly.Now in text messages I have been telling my girlfriend I really don't know what a potato is. The only way I can ever get out of this is for them to buy that I don't know what a potato is.I wish I never started it but I can't go back. I think she will break up with me anyway.3541 commentssharesavehidegive goldreportcrosspost
Let me tell you that I have made a bad mistake this evening.
My girlfriend (who let me tell you is only my 2nd girlfriend of all time) said I am "invited to dinner" with her and her parents. I was very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation. But I knew it must be done.
I met them nicely, I should tell you, and it started off in a good way. The idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit, to make a good impression and become known to them as a person who is amusing.
When I saw that baked potatoes were served I got the idea that it would be very good if I pretended I did not know what potatoes was. That would be funny.
Well let me tell you: backfired on my face. I'll tell you how.
So first when the potato became on my plate, I acted very interesting. I showed an expression on my face so as to seem that I was confused, astounded but in a restrained way, curious, and interested. They did notice, and seemed confused, but did not remark. So I asked "This looks very interesting. What is this?"
They stared at me and the mother said "It's a baked potato." And I was saying "Oh, interesting, a baked....what is it again?"
And she was like "A potato."
And I was like "A 'potato', oh interesting. Never heard of a potato, looks pretty good."
And then they didn't see I was clowning, but thought I really did not know what is a potato. So I knew I would be very shamed, humiliated, depressed, and disgusted if I admitted to making a bad joke, so what I did was to act as if it was not a joke but I committed to the act of pretending I didn't know what a potato is.
They asked me, VERY incredulous, did I really not know what a potato is? That I never heard of a potato. I went with it and told them, yes, I did not ever even hear of a potato. Not only had I never eaten a potato I had never heard the word potato.
This went on for a bit and my girlfriend was acting very confused and embarrassed by my "fucked up antics", and then the more insistent I was about not knowing what a potato is was when them parents starting thinking I DID know what a potato was.
Well let me tell you I had to commit 100% at this point. When I would not admit to knowing what a potato was, the father especially began to get annoyed. At one point he said something like "Enough is enough. You're fucking with us. Admit it." And I said "Sir, before today I never heard of a potato. I still don't know what a potato is, other than some kind of food. I don't know what to tell you."
Well let me tell you he got very annoyed. I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange!"
That is when the father started yelling at me, and the mother kept saying "What are you doing?" and my girlfriend went to some other room.
Finally the father said I should "Get the fuck out of his house" and I said it was irrational to treat me like this just because I never heard of a potato before. Well let me tell you he didn't take that kindly.
Now in text messages I have been telling my girlfriend I really don't know what a potato is. The only way I can ever get out of this is for them to buy that I don't know what a potato is.
I wish I never started it but I can't go back. I think she will break up with me anyway.
3541 commentssharesavehidegive goldreportcrosspost
― how's life, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:03 (five years ago) link
Before I opened this thread to find out what it was about I already had googled my favourite potato recipe
Here it is:
https://www.chinasichuanfood.com/spicy-and-sour-potato/
It's really good if you totally omit the spicy red peppers, but leave in the sichuan peppercorns, for a flavour that I've been told is more authentically Szechuan-- numbing, but not spicy; 麻, but not 辣
― flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:05 (five years ago) link
I need hardly point out that I don't know what TIFU means.
― Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:09 (five years ago) link
numbing and spicy is a common combo in szechuan food (says i the szechuan expert because i read that one fuchsia dunlop book)
― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:10 (five years ago) link
TUOFU
― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:11 (five years ago) link
today I fouled up xxp
― devil's avocado (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:11 (five years ago) link
What the foul?
― Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:11 (five years ago) link
https://i.redditmedia.com/Xx5FXBzmD3DRXV7j1M7k1wdz_Rd6zzZdzvyccKzMDII.jpg?fit=crop&crop=faces%2Centropy&arh=2&w=960&s=ca1948328a8261f4fcaf5fc613e29592
― anvil, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:12 (five years ago) link
xxp: it's the name of a popular subreddit, Today I Fucked Up, in which people describe in detail mistakes they made that day.
― how's life, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:14 (five years ago) link
I've got to stay in more.
― Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:14 (five years ago) link
recipe looks excellent, this place needs more recipe threads and less hilarity, lest I piss my pants ... again!
― calzino, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:15 (five years ago) link
I was told, when in Beijing, at a Szechuan restaurant, by my host, that numbing+spicy is a common characteristic of both Hunan and Sichuan cuisine, that the "mala" (numbing+spicy) combo is idiomatic, in both regions. He said that the "guaiwei" method of spicing was as common as "mala" in Szechuan-- numbing without the spice-- and I've subsequently really been into omitting hot chilis from typically "mala" recipes, but retaining the other spices (incl. sichuan peppercorns). I made a really weird chili crisp using all the typical ingredients, but no arborio peppers (the most important ingredient, for the "la") and made a couple rounds of really interesting and delicious mapo tofu with it. (I'm trying to lay off spicy food as I approach age 40)
― flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:20 (five years ago) link
http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/foodjokes/potatojokes.html
― sassysquatch (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:23 (five years ago) link
xp. interesting
― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:25 (five years ago) link
isn't that potato joke just from an andy samberg netflix show
― Impossible Burgermeat. Unlikely Seitan. (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:45 (five years ago) link
I would double down on my perception of the original joke's hilarity if I didn't fear the likelihood of becoming persona au gratin around here.
― Things To Do For Dinner When You're Dad (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:47 (five years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJAEaAom5FQ
― Impossible Burgermeat. Unlikely Seitan. (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:48 (five years ago) link
i’m just honoured that i got to play a part in the post which kicked off this accursed thread
― Rogan Twort's highly portable product (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:50 (five years ago) link
Before I opened this thread to find out what it was about I already had googled my favourite potato recipeHere it is:https://www.chinasichuanfood.com/spicy-and-sour-potato/It's really good if you totally omit the spicy red peppers, but leave in the sichuan peppercorns, for a flavour that I've been told is more authentically Szechuan-- numbing, but not spicy; 麻, but not 辣― flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, August 1, 2018 7:05 PM (forty-six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, August 1, 2018 7:05 PM (forty-six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
This is the main way I eat potato now, due to Chinese family (from Hubei, so spicy but not mouth-numbing) (really wish there were a better way to say it in English, mouth-numbing does not work). I like it a lot but it's often a lot less cooked than I was previously used to, I thought raw potatoes were poisonous for some reason. Anyway, it's really good, but not quite as good as some really good mash imo.
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:56 (five years ago) link
xp not an accursed thread, I would like further input on different ways to cook the humble yet versatile starchy, tuberous root of the perennial nightshade Solanum tuberosum.
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 18:58 (five years ago) link
Yeah, let's hash this out.
― Things To Do For Dinner When You're Dad (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 19:00 (five years ago) link
can we talk about blood sausages
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 19:01 (five years ago) link
I thought raw potatoes were poisonous for some reason.
They are in the nightshade family, which has some poisonous members. To quote Wikipedia:
Many members of the family contain potent alkaloids, and some are highly toxic, but many, including tomatoes, potatoes, eggplant, bell/chili peppers, and tobacco are widely used.
― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 19:02 (five years ago) link
I'd like to try these for a start - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papa_rellena
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/31/Peru_PapasRellenas2.jpg/250px-Peru_PapasRellenas2.jpg
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 19:02 (five years ago) link
xxp thank you, this is god's work
― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 19:04 (five years ago) link
team redditor because this is basically masterclass-level zizek gaming
https://www.thehairpin.com/2016/07/the-best-time-i-pretended-i-hadnt-heard-of-slavoj-zizek/
― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 19:05 (five years ago) link
Redditors to you tubers is a pretty accursed trajectory
― jeremy cmbyn (wins), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 19:08 (five years ago) link
but the redditor didn't know about tubers!
― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 19:09 (five years ago) link
Would eat an all-nightshade family sandwich
― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 19:34 (five years ago) link
Potato, tobacco and ghost pepper sub?
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 20:08 (five years ago) link
why notMake the bun out of eggplant somehow
― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 21:28 (five years ago) link
tobacco leaf
― brimstead, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 21:57 (five years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.
― System, Thursday, 2 August 2018 00:01 (five years ago) link
I thought this was going to be a niche thread about the Simpsons episode where Lisa's class has to dress as states and Ralph has a bit of paper stuck to his front that says Idaho.
― Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Thursday, 2 August 2018 05:44 (five years ago) link
It is
― devops mom (silby), Thursday, 2 August 2018 06:00 (five years ago) link
Did I die at some point in the last 24 hours because not a lot is making sense r/n tbh :/
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 2 August 2018 06:14 (five years ago) link
I would excelsior Silby but it relies too much on context. OR DOES IT?
― sassysquatch (rip van wanko), Thursday, 2 August 2018 09:44 (five years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Friday, 3 August 2018 00:01 (five years ago) link
youse fuckin swine
― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Friday, 3 August 2018 00:04 (five years ago) link
well at least now the grating humour-fail has been sadly acknowledged - get back to the fucking serious business of how kitchen dilettantes should grate up a tato!
― calzino, Friday, 3 August 2018 00:09 (five years ago) link
^ man dolin out the real talk
― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Friday, 3 August 2018 00:11 (five years ago) link
I made a potato, spring onion and green bean soup earlier today. I put too much potato in tbh, but it was still "not bad" was it's mediocre epitaph.
― calzino, Friday, 3 August 2018 00:20 (five years ago) link
Q: who actually says "po-tah-to"
― No organ. (crüt), Friday, 3 August 2018 00:23 (five years ago) link
what is ur tah sound
ta or tay
― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Friday, 3 August 2018 00:26 (five years ago) link
Boil emMash emPut em in a steeew
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Friday, 3 August 2018 00:31 (five years ago) link
Use em as condoms
― F# A# (∞), Friday, 3 August 2018 00:33 (five years ago) link
My comedy is all about making ppl think
― Neuer write off the germans (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 3 August 2018 07:53 (five years ago) link
The reddit post was a gershwin joke?
― how's life, Friday, 3 August 2018 08:15 (five years ago) link
Voted reddit, but other perspectives are valid, death of the author and all that
― Neuer write off the germans (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 3 August 2018 08:20 (five years ago) link
i admire yr v dignified bearing throughout this ordeal fwiw
― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Friday, 3 August 2018 09:05 (five years ago) link
Gratin humour fail
― jeremy cmbyn (wins), Friday, 3 August 2018 09:43 (five years ago) link
^^^^should have been the thread title!
― calzino, Friday, 3 August 2018 09:58 (five years ago) link
I should add I'm not having a pop at PalaceMan42 here, the thread isn't his doing.
― calzino, Friday, 3 August 2018 10:01 (five years ago) link
classic or spud
― rip van wanko, Friday, 3 August 2018 10:14 (five years ago) link
Maybe it was a Jonathan Swift ref
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Friday, 3 August 2018 14:09 (five years ago) link
― jeremy cmbyn (wins), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 19:08 (eleven months ago) bookmarkflaglink
― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Wednesday, 1 August 2018 19:09 (eleven months ago) bookmarkflaglink
how did we miss this at the time, quality pun
― phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 July 2019 00:21 (four years ago) link
Has a pun really been missed when it’s referred to in the very next post
― 2019OK plus bennu (wins), Tuesday, 30 July 2019 05:26 (four years ago) link
great revive
― another no-holds-barred Tokey Wedge adventure for men (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 30 July 2019 08:51 (four years ago) link
good thread, tom d being confused at everything throughout is a rich seam
― phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 July 2019 09:28 (four years ago) link