Why do people leave ILX for good?

the "people" complaining are my colleagues and in some cases editors

(scare quotes unintended, just mirroring the above post, obviously I see everyone as people)

I've def been angry about ILX beefs in the distant past, but I don't have the energy to muster much more than an eyeroll in my dotage.

(I was just 'people'-ing to avoid explicitly naming names, fwiw.)

deej and turrican doing some kind of greatest hits tour on that thread plus the actual topic of the thread, really why is anyone still on ilx?

beef rubbernecking

Basically just here waiting for a couple of SB-ometers to roll over, m'self. It's mesmerizing!

I'm not even angry with anyone (although it seems like many people are angry at me), just hurt and worried about the repercussions on my life

(since, again, people involved are colleagues, editors, and/or people who know me IRL, not to mention the people who Google my name during job searches and do not have a comprehensive guide to the context of all beef)

Just poked into the thread being discussed and...I think a link to that thread is a sufficient response to this thread's question, probably. Sure as the sun will rise in the east, the usual gang of terdz gonna terd.

deej and turrican doing some kind of greatest hits tour on that thread plus the actual topic of the thread, really why is anyone still on ilx?

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, August 17, 2018 12:51 PM (twenty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Well, it beats being a no-hit wonder!

I think a link to that thread is a sufficient response to this thread's question, probably

cool, i'll ask the mods to delete it

i can't think of any other solution to this question tbh

I'd like to encourage anyone who feels an itch to chase off one of the like seven female posters remaining on the board to instead start a thread where you give me the business, really lay into me. Burn off all that pent up nerd rage. I'll be a good sport about it, promise.

people have gotten worse about discussing things they *disagree* with, where the main issue is people who don't have a strong opinion either way dropping in to shit on the fact that *someone had an opinion*

T***ican makes reading ilm hard due to the "I now have an opinion on this, look at me, why won't anyone congratulate me" stance and their ongoing shenanigans baffle me

two sides of the same coin: opinions or even reviews are worth commentary but acting as if each embodies the entire essence of the writer is just a broken social dynamic

Opinions are like assholes: ILX is full of 'em.

(j/k, I luv most of u)

(which I guess doesn't preclude your possible status as an asshole or my own, but still)

that opinion was both posted on another site entirely and now removed. I did not “drop in” to discuss it and in fact would have preferred it was never discussed at all, particularly since I am now being blamed for its ongoing discussion

i don' think he was talking about you

for the record i blame turrican and lbi for extending the convo unnecessarily

you're not the only person I was referring to there

i know?

I'm just saying

@Brad, I wrote exactly one post on that thread after it kicked off, but by all means...

jesus christ

lbi you mentioned her by name in that thread after she requested multiple times that she not be. if it was an accident i get it and i’m sorry for getting aggro about it but it wasn’t very cool imo. so here we are

ah i see now, thanks for clearing that up; that was indeed accidental, apologies.

i guess in all fairness i should be yelling at austinb too

I've never written about music or been a reviewer with reach in the public sphere so I try to be conscientious about writers being people, but ilm has, for the entire time I've read/posted been both talking about music and commentary on how people talk about/review music and there's never really been a hard or soft rule about whether talking about a review by a poster

it doesn't mean you have to respond to comments or care what people have said, though

obviously I've never had an editor, either. take that "whether" out of there

gotta get a copyeditor for those ilx posts. i'll do it for a reasonable (but not cheap) retainer

I'll take that under consideration!

the problem with talking about reviews is that I don't personally email or tweet my reviews to stans because I know there is nothing to be gained from that than angry email until the end of time. of course, they find me anyway, and the same seems to have happened here. it is impossible to have a reasonable discussion when that discussion is started against your wishes, based on something you wrote on an entirely different site, and right out of the gate, the opposing viewpoint is that I'm a troll (for writing something on a completely separate website), that I am listening to a song in bad faith (because I came to an opinion that was different than consensus, based on the things I personally enjoy hearing in music), and that my viewpoints are insane (despite being shared by many people).

it isn't just me, either. like, one post that was objected to (not by me) and called a "terrible post" was the following: "I’m not against [social commentary], I’m just not sure it is done successfully [in this song]." this is the most anodyne, polite statement of disagreement I can possibly think of -- it is literally textbook, in that textbooks for middle-school English class give students discussion prompts phrased like this, almost verbatim. (I know because my job involves editing dozens of these prompts.) how is it possible to have a reasonable discussion when there is seemingly virtually no acceptable way to express a different opinion about a song?

I think the implicit guideline is: if an ILXor doesn't want their non-ILX life/work/endeavors/relationships (public or private) to be discussed on ILX, we respect that ILXor's wishes.

glad we found out now

anyway is there a way to retroactively googleproof a thread or is there like no recourse here except mass post deletion

My least favorite New Pornographers album.

I think the implicit guideline is: if an ILXor doesn't want their non-ILX life/work/endeavors/relationships (public or private) to be discussed on ILX, we respect that ILXor's wishes.

― Melted Belts, Priced To Move (Old Lunch), Friday, 17 August 2018 14:19 (nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this merits a discussion that can be separated from the current instance but this is v def not a correct drawing of any actual rule hard or soft in place

yeah people are still allowed to call me a shitty writer whenever an argument decays into ad hominem attacks

xp:

Srs answer: I googleproofed the government name that was mentioned in that thread. We can create a substitution for that user's name like we have done in the past for imago, among others, if they wanted.

We could deindex the 1975 thread, but I don't really see any need to, as it stands. Sometimes we deindex threads that contain large amounts of personal information or are about topics that we don't want to attract attention from outside (like the alt-right thread, for example).

thank you for the serious answer and for doing that, how's life <3

it is impossible to have a reasonable discussion when that discussion is started against your wishes, based on something you wrote on an entirely different site, and right out of the gate, the opposing viewpoint is that I'm a troll (for writing something on a completely separate website), that I am listening to a song in bad faith (because I came to an opinion that was different than consensus, based on the things I personally enjoy hearing in music), and that my viewpoints are insane (despite being shared by many people).

as actual arguments or discussion prompts, literally none of these things scan as especially egregious, personal or out-of-bounds with the exception of semantical problems with words like "insane"

I think the implicit guideline is: if an ILXor doesn't want their non-ILX life/work/endeavors/relationships (public or private) to be discussed on ILX, we respect that ILXor's wishes.

― Melted Belts, Priced To Move (Old Lunch), Friday, August 17, 2018 10:19 AM (twelve minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

gotta say it is fascinating to see this standard applied when someone's work and endeavors are "writing about music"

in what way is calling someone who isn't trolling a troll not personal

this merits a discussion that can be separated from the current instance but this is v def not a correct drawing of any actual rule hard or soft in place

― liberally social (darraghmac), Friday, August 17, 2018 9:32 AM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Okay then, it's my implicit rule, at least. Clearly it is not widely practiced.

There are, one assumes, reasons why most people do not post here under their full govt. name. As such, bridging that ILX/IRL gap against an ILXor's wishes seems like Bad Form.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life it’s that if someone’s feelings are hurt it doesn’t really help to explain to them why their feelings shouldn’t be hurt.

Hope you have a good weekend Katherine

in what way is calling someone who isn't trolling a troll not personal

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Friday, August 17, 2018 10:40 AM (twenty-three seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

calling someone "a troll" is basically saying "I don't believe this particular argument is here for any reason but to provoke."

It may be totally untrue, but unless someone is calling you a career troll or a serial maker-upper or Pitchfork Milo, it's a bit of a stretch to call that "personal"

i honestly think the bigger issue was the context of how it was dragged in. i could be wrong but i doubt it would have been this much of an issue if deej was like, "i took exception to so and so's review of blah blah because of x, would like to hear more about what they think about it"