Why do people leave ILX for good?

I concur with bacon-loving brony-4-lyfe WGW.

because they're not random people from the internet (which is upsetting enough as it is). these people either are my actual colleagues or know my actual colleagues, and I either encounter them in real life or encounter people who know them in real life, and now an indeterminate amount of them are upset with me or think less of me

no one is upset with you bc you were indirectly called a troll

katherine, I'd go out on a limb and suggest that anyone whose opinion of you is lowered as a result of whatever happened in the thread about the 1975s is maybe someone whose opinions are way too easily swayed by basically nothing and therefore suspect as a general thing.

this sure sounds like someone who is upset with me

Lmao at being accused of sea lioning bc I tried to engage a writer who posts on this board after their writing was posted to this thread ... Christ alive be more dramatic

― Listen to my homeboy Fantano (D-40), Friday, August 17, 2018 11:51 AM (thirty-one seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok but what does that have to do with the repercussions of being called a troll

the thread is googleproofed, you can stop posting in it now

those ARE the repercussions

I'd stop posting in it if people would stop bringing it up

That is not a response to either your article or Kevin’s remark, it is only the repercussions of your protracted shitfit

also that is deej

I'd stop posting in it if people would stop bringing it up

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Friday, August 17, 2018 8:54 AM (twenty-four seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh so the problem isn't your name, it's that you can't stop having this argument

believe me, I would love if it stopped

that you don't want to have

in a thread you don't want to post in

deej cranking it up a notch while telling someone else to take it down a notch is a bad look, sure

I really don't understand why I'm the one who's being blamed for this when I didn't start it, didn't want it to happen, and would like nothing more for it to end

*than for it to end

i would like for it to end too. maybe you can help

I gently suggest being willing to disengage.

xp

OK, anyone who posts below this line gets a month temp ban

___________________________________________________________________________________________

i'm happy to say that i'm confident not a single one of your colleagues in that thread thinks any less of you because you don't like the 1975

the "because" isn't what I'm concerned with

lop off the rest of the sentence then and i still think it's true!

like, if I did upset anybody I am sorry (I know "I'm sorry if I upset you" is considered shitty but in this case I genuinely do not know whether people are upset with me, who is and is not upset with me, and for what reason). it was not my intention at all, and I realize that "it was not my intention" is meaningless, but I'm sorry

I'd say to walk away. and I say this as someone who's been irritated by a couple work meetings with someone I am sure is acting in bad faith, but I just mentioned my feedback to the right people and I'm gonna forget about it because there's literally nothing I can do and no real effect on the rest of my work

it's the churn that looks bad, never engage with people making bad faith arguments and have faith in the people who aren't acting in bad faith. it's wrestling a pig, you're just going to end up looking silly and get covered in mud

Looking for bingeworthy shows to enjoy during my now-mandatory one-month ILX vacation, recommendations plz.

ilx the movie

I guess I just don't understand why I'm the person who's most at fault here

Supergirl

xp

im getting flashbacks here

I don't know what that means.

you’re not at fault at all but right now it’s like picking at a wound, you gotta let it crust over imo

but it would be better not to have the wound in the first place, and I don't understand how or why it happened

Maybe we should go over it

look, I'm sorry, OK?

xxxp you know sometimes even an unrelated post gives me PTSD to very old ilx posts that haunt my thoughts

I'm sorry. I don't know what posts you mean, but whatever they are, I'm sorry.

i almost left this joint once after a sub-board mod implied that they'd creeped on me and used my ILX login email address to find me on other websites.

I'm really sorry that happened to you

you dont appear to have done anything to be sorry about katherine!

i would just ignore any discussion of it from this point forward

i would doubt that any irl consequences follow from a posting of any of yr thoughts on a band but i defer to your judgement here tbh

you seem very well-thought of across the boards here and this spat is not goin to have changed that for 99% of posters if have thought?

there is certainly nothing to tale note of in deej or others disagreeing with an opinion of anybodys, whether they do so in stronger terms than one would wish is certainly par for the course

eesh sorry to hear about that omar

i was a bit...

https://i.imgur.com/PKhaoSw.gif

...for the rest of the day after that.

but i did stick around in the end for some reason i haven't figured out yet.

xp-

you seem very well-thought of across the boards here and this spat is not goin to have changed that for 99% of posters if have thought?

but the evidence would seem to suggest the opposite. it very much seems plausible -- more plausible than the opposite -- that at least five to eight people are angry with me or think less of me or have problems with me or however you want to phrase it. (and again, that's just including people who post -- who knows how many people are reading or being told about it. there were a few things I saw that plausibly seemed like they could be subtweets.) like, the post I quoted above -- in what universe would someone read that and think that the person is OK with me? if you showed that to someone, with zero context, would the takeaway be "very well-thought of"?

like, I already worry tremendously about where I stand with basically everyone I encounter in my life, and historically have been blindsided to find out people have a problem with me when I had no idea. (this isn't always the case, of course, sometimes it's very clear that someone dislikes me. but there are few feelings shittier than learning that someone you thought was OK with you has not been OK with you for some time, and it happens a lot).

i think that you are reading far more into a very ordinary-seeming ilx discussion than might be wise

i dont say that to minimise in any way how you're feeling about it but genuinely this does not seem worth that level of thought, introspection or connection with any previous events

nb 5 to 8 ppl angry with me (and i think you may even be overestimating the numbers and the strength of feeling here) is what id call a p chill day ymmv

I don't understand how things like "it is only the repercussions of your protracted shitfit" and "Christ alive be more dramatic" are meant to be read and not conclude that I have done something wrong in that person's eyes

ok

I think in those cases it's less that you did anything wrong and more a matter of, I dunno, that person's poor upbringing or something.

I would suspect they would disagree that it is "their poor upbringing or something"

Their disagreement doesn't make it any less their problem, imo. The internet world is replete with people who can't accept that they don't know how to talk to other people like people.

Katherine, you sounded annoyed, initially, in that thread, but it now seems like you might be having a panic or anxiety attack which is causing you to over-emphasize what was said about you and the consequences and you’re starting to spiral pretty badly. I’m not saying this to belittle you, it just looks a lot like what I’ve seen in someone having severe anxiety. People piling on the discussion aren’t helping you disengage.

Is it possible a mod could just delete the initial quote-post and all posts referencing it in that 1975 thread?

one of the best things i learned from ilx was that not everyone was going to like me. real life was too polite for me to notice that. respectfully i don’t think it matters to your life—and definitely not to your career—if some people disapprove of something you’ve said, even if they’re fellow music critics