Real England

I’ve had three ice-creams already today.

Each paragraph is like a piece of flash fiction complete with a curveball at the end.

fucking hell

he’s a living breathing david peace character

what dark secrets does he hold

Millwall, where it’s still pretty much hot dog.

superb

that is wonderful

and definitely larded

Teenagers arriving for #readingfestival!

Instead of taking drugs, creating memories and making mistakes

why not make the BEST mistake of your lives by coming to our museum and discover you actually have a deep fascination for tractors and it becomes a lifelong obsession

— The Museum of English Rural Life (@TheMERL) August 23, 2018

(this is good not bad IMO: caveat i grew up in a rural county just stiff with tractor fairs and traction engine rallies and the like)

As a youth I went to a Sealed Knot re-enactment which also had a traction engine fair, and on that day I ate my first ever donner kebab. Quite the occasion.

xp That's very sweet imo. I wish upon them many youths.

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/resources/images/8118879/

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/resources/images/8118881/

The Museum of English Rural Life used to be one of Reading Uni's halls of residence, so once upon a time teenagers were going there to take drugs, make memories and make mistakes

xp
when innocent smoothies type brands don't understand the basics of football kit design and they aren't even from Hecky!

https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/jh-graphic-p4-5-farmageddon-silly-wars-01.jpg?w=960

this charming rural life museum comm, coming a day after Williamson's dastardly "farmageddon" plot to turn tractors into deadly weapons, is a good thing, definitely.

what is the lovecraftian entity tentacular that is depicted on these kits?

xp lol i think i drew the design for that in primary school, in my epic picture book PUSS IN BOOTS KILLS A DRAGON (he mainly used jet fighters and bombs to do this)

it's mustard and ketchup

and the fellow on the left is hot dogs?

cool to see a football strip inspired by this iconic gif

https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Ffoododdity.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F07%2Fhot-dog-face.gif&f=1

it makes me think perhaps there was some leap in t-shirt printing tech in the early 90's or perhaps even late 80's, and football kit design started to go badly wrong. And a whole new generation is learning this lesson again.

the way the lines of mustard and ketchup intertwine on the crotch of that guy's shorts is... mesmerising

does everybody know the very long and annoying joke with the punchline "it's ok, i'm an ex tractor fan?"

it makes me think perhaps there was some leap in t-shirt printing tech in the early 90's or perhaps even late 80's, and football kit design started to go badly wrong. And a whole new generation is learning this lesson again.

― calzino,

I'll put it on the real russia thread but Rostov's new away kit (or third kit i think) is the design of a persian rug after (one of?) their fans started turning up with a rug

https://media.wired.com/photos/5a3bf9025b461c24af9057f1/master/w_1200,c_limit/hotdog-ta.jpg

nailed it

I'll put it on the real russia thread but Rostov's new away kit (or third kit i think) is the design of a persian rug after (one of?) their fans started turning up with a rug

― anvil, Friday, August 24, 2018 1:00 PM (two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

as mentioned here #ruglife

designers probably au fait with various Spanish lower league efforts such as this prawny number

https://dnre29p915wg3.cloudfront.net/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/700x700/0dc2d03fe217f8c83829496872af24a0/l/o/loja-17-gk-pink-tags.jpg

extremely vaporwave

no they play in Japan iirc

oh dear god

Libertines frontman Pete Doherty wins cafe breakfast fame

With a fucking yazoo

Yahoo with a yazoo. I love how the BBC call it a 'strawberry milkshake'. If yazoo is a milkshake then I'm Alison Moyet.

English House yes mates

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHZ9sd5oIgs

You can only take one of your children? pic.twitter.com/TSzlQVvsP9

— Tim Robey (@trim_obey) August 27, 2018

is that for real? Lol!

it's in Sidcup.

So's one of the better Italian places in London. A weird melange is Sidcup

https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7341/10597337884_57673b93af_b.jpg

the 'sliced bacon specialists' tagline written in cursive is what really makes this imo

bellies in one end, slices out the other

House-proud Fiona Boston tells ITV News she had "no choice" but to brazenly make off with this £1,500 sofa from House of Fraser in front of shocked staff https://t.co/g6WwAVS3sK pic.twitter.com/08H37NzBB4

— ITV News (@itvnews) September 7, 2018

fuckin yes

ITV might want to review their autocorrect policies:

She said: "I'm more mad because I'm not going to get my poofy and my cushions off of them. How am I going to get them?"

haha.

My grandma had a poof to put her feet up on so I don’t see why this lady should have her poofy.

the autocorrect also seems to have replaced "took" with "taken".

the story is actually way more sympathetic than I expected based on that clip, I thought she'd just be someone who stole a sofa and dgaf and even then I was still thinking '...cool'

xp I'm always semi-professionally fascinated by ppl's policies of 'correcting' minor errors of grammar in things like this where it doesn't really make much difference either way

if you're a stan you can watch the much better and longer version of that hard hitting news report here:

http://www.itv.com/news/2018-09-07/mum-had-no-choice-but-to-make-off-with-house-of-fraser-sofa/

'Erratic driver' watching pornography when stopped in Doncaster

Obsessed with the “bastards’ nostalgia” genre of jigsaw puzzle. Every man jack of them = a Faragean fever dream of era-mangling, magical realist menace pic.twitter.com/k1LwE5Z5uv

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) September 11, 2018