Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

pplains mvp

Walking into a bathroom that the previous occupant has stunk to high heaven and then vacated, taking a perfectly mild and harmless whiz yourself, then walking out of the still stunk-up bathroom just as one of your coworkers is walking in.

― how's life, Friday, April 20, 2018 2:24 PM (four months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The lunchtime equivalent of this just happened in one of the office pantries. I walked in ready to reheat my relatively inoffensive chicken and potatoes. The whole pantry stunk like fish or fish-sauce mixed with cheese or something? I don't know, it was bad. But I'd have to travel to a completely different floor to use another microwave. The guy eventually came in and took his horrible-smelling food out. I had to sit there for two minutes microwaving my dish and it did nothing to dissipate the smell in the room. Meanwhile, all these people I don't quite know but see around the building all the time keep walking in, getting this sour look on their face and walking out.

The cafeteria staff at my workplace have started playing music recently to liven the place up. Honestly, it's made all the difference in making another bland Sodexo trough feel more comfortable and relaxed. They usually play older r&b hits, so one morning we'll get Stevie Wonder, another morning we'll get Michael, sometimes we'll get a smattering of Motown hits. Today it was Marvin Gaye and I ended up purchasing my oatmeal to the sounds of Sexual Healing.

― how's life, Wednesday, May 2, 2018 8:13 AM (four months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

And another follow up! I just bought a bag of popcorn in the cafeteria to the tune of I'll Make Love To You by Boyz II Men.

Apple keynote speeches / Nintendo directs are excruciating for me. They aren’t entertainment, news, or public speaking of any value whatsoever.

you can't just declare memes, wholesale, as being unfunny. like saying comics are unfunny.

pedestrians trying to cross the street who INSIST on waiting for the walk sign even when the path is completely clear, omg who hurt you

A car that came from out of nowhere?

I always do this unless there's absolutely no traffic visible. Some of us don't think it's so very 'hip' and 'cool' to scoff at the law, sonny.

I did this just this morning. The last intersection I cross has heavy traffic coming from across a bridge from around a curve. Today for some reason, all four lanes were quiet. I looked left and then right, and then left again. Repeated L-R-L. No cars. So I start going across and yeah, from around the curve across the bridge came a car. I had to walk really fast to the curb, like I had to pee.

one time a high school kid called me a "good citizen" because he saw me waiting patiently at the walk sign as he and his bros plowed through. I must be doing something right!

I do this when I'm not well - I can't concentrate enough to trust my judgement.

I had to walk really fast to the curb, like I had to pee.

whenever this happens i always find myself saying "woop, woop, woop" to myself

When there were station wagons with rear-facing back seats, I dreaded getting stuck at a red light behind one with kids in the back staring at me. I suddenly find something very interesting on the dashboard to keep me from making eye contact.

Except one time when there were 2 brothers watching me while I stared slightly to the left pretending not to notice them. Brother #1 turned his head but #2 was still looking at me, so I grabbed a pen out of my pocket, stuck it in my nose and let it hang there. As he smacked his brother's arm to get him to turn and look, I yanked the pen out and went back to staring disinterestedly off to the left.

innocuous things that make u irrationally rad

If this were fb I'd Haha that, HL.

This might sound particularly sad and pathetic but I always try to do this if there are any young children waiting to cross - I don't want them to get the wrong ideas about how to cross a road. Otherwise, I'm walking backwards, moonwalking, walking on my hands etc.

French here. People not crossing the road despite there being absolutely no cars in sight and streets not being littered with dog poop and cigarette butts were two of the most shocking things when we went to Montreal a few years ago.

tbh I wait in the USA cos I'm paranoid I'll get fined for jaywalking. I'm not really sure how likely that is, I guess because I haven't grown up with it being illegal to cross the street I don't really understand when you can and can't do it, like if I'm walking down a suburban street, what am I supposed to do then if there's no crossing? Is it OK to cross the road anywhere then? I really have no idea tbh.

I've never heard of anyone getting fined for jaywalking. A good rule of thumb is, do you see a cop standing there issuing tickets to pedestrians? No? Then you won't get fined.

If there's no crosswalk just cross with caution, at a corner preferably.

I first encountered people not crossing despite zero traffic in LA. They'd be standing there on tiny side streets waiting for the light to change, no cars anywhere. I found it completely baffling. Being from Boston, I got it drilled into my head that pedestrians always have the right of way.

Apparently being subservient to your new automobile overlords is popular in Germany, we got loudly tutted at by some locals at a pedestrian crossing in Cologne once for not waiting.

xp I have heard of people getting fined for jaywalking, and this was in LA, so maybe that's why

I wouldn't assume if I couldn't see a cop that there isn't one lurking somewhere, that's just the kind of thing they'd do

That was just Jay Leno, and he deserved it
xp

walking while jay

got a jaywalking ticket in Seattle 20 years ago but I still cross like a boss.

Jaywalker for life

I’ve got places to be, like sitting alone in my car

LA occasionally does jaywalking stings, where they do hide and give tickets, and that includes starting to cross after the "walk" starts flashing red but it's still a green light.

for the lawful citizens, let me make sure i have this straight

https://i.imgur.com/4hu39Jr.jpg

assume you park at 1, and you want to cross the street to visit a shop at 2. assuming there's no traffic, you would walk to one of the crosswalks (arrows) rather than just crossing the street?

Nobody does that. Not even in Germany.

I'm sure the crosswalks in Pyongyang get a lot of action

When I stay in the crosswalk and obey the lights, it's not so much that I'm worried about getting a jaywalking ticket. The reason is more because if I get hit by a car in the crosswalk, my liability is pretty much zero.

brb, gotta go walk into that car parked in the crosswalk in the picture above

I'm ever crossing ~*sighs heavily~* a one-way street with no traffic in Prague, sure, I'm going for it.

it's a slippery slope from that to edward 40-hands, you ready for this?! wooooo!

Prague seems cool for pedestrians.

i'd catapult from streetlight to streetlight, no law against jayleaping

what if it was 2-way, in any city, though? (i didn't mean to choose a 1-way street as an example. i just had a strangely difficult time find a pic showing a long street parked cars and crosswalk options at the far ends)

i usually slither on the ground like a worm and hope no one runs me over

OK, back to the topic.

There's a fella in town running for the city board. His name is Bryan Frazier.

Seems like an all right guy.

But

This is his campaign sign.

https://i.imgur.com/JFacyRJ.jpg

I mean, I guess I should be glad his name isn't Bryan Seinfield.

hope he doesn't get pelted with scrambled eggs or salad at a campaign event

This might sound particularly sad and pathetic but I always try to do this if there are any young children waiting to cross - I don't want them to get the wrong ideas about how to cross a road

I relate v strongly to this tweet/think about it a lot

To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please.

— we (@kanwetwitty) July 20, 2015

except instead of eating McDonalds I'm crossing a road without waiting for the green man

i get the Bryan Frazier might be a mf'er with some dark secrets

(feeling)

People who get really upset about "spoilers." I guess I find that, as an adult, the main enjoyment in watching a show is not "what happens next" but the writing, the acting, etc. It doesn't matter if I *know* x character on the Sopranos is eventually going to get whacked, it matters how it goes down as a scene. Something childish about caring that much about keeping every plot point a surprise.

Open disdain for millennia of narrative tradition is a pretty cool posish, I guess.

Complete opposite, I find the skillful revealing of new information to be one of the best tools available to any artist working with narrative, and taking a detached analytical view from the start often robs work of its impact for me. I enjoy being the audience for a work which was designed with the audience experience in mind, and really don't understand how people sometimes seem so keen to jettison this.

Also I am approaching 40 now and don't feel that this means I am somehow trapped in an infantile form of consumption.

It just means you're able to refrain from flipping the bird at storytellers, which is an honorable quality imo.