explain the inexplicable: Bradley Cooper’s A STAR IS BORN feat Lady Gaga

I will never understand the cult of Bradley Cooper. Like, how he got to be mega-paid "serious" actor of Hollywood is completely baffling to me. He will always just be one of those ppl who was in Wet Hot American Summer.

You'll change your tune when Cooper wins no fewer than 4 Oscars next February.

Christ is his name on the screenplay too?

By god it is, and with an &, I feel bad for the poor schmuck who had to call himself Cooper’s writing partner

Surely they'll save Best Actor for his Lenny Bernstein movie.

(he's co-writing and directing that one too)

wait, there was a TV version of Limitless? I though the film sank with Cooper.

Yeah, no one watched it but he had a recurring cameo in the same role. I, along with approximately 6 other people, actually enjoyed it, way moreso than the movie.

He was standout good in The Place Beyond The Pines.

eh I'd fuck him

He was standout good in The Place Beyond The Pines.

god I hated that movie lol

eh I'd fuck him

Gaga's best bet for Best Original Song

Naturally I checked:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_who_have_won_multiple_Academy_Awards_in_a_single_year

Acting trophies have never been part of anyone's multiple-award-winning Oscar nights.

yeah Limitless the film had one of the more palpable "what the fuck am i doing here?" de Niro roles I've seen.

A STAR IS BORN: When a rockist marries a poptimist, clearly one of them must die.

An incredible 30-40 minutes deflated, slightly, by a screenplay that’s not as rich as the music industry conflicts at its center. The songs are bangers though—genuinely. #TIFF2018

— k austin collins (@melvillmatic) September 10, 2018

Adding to the positive critical praise, Peter Bradshaw gives it 5 stars in the Guardian, saying it's hokum (quelle surprise), but "outrageously watchable".

"It’s the romantic epic of male sacrificial woundedness and it’s been regenerating like Doctor Who... supercharged with dilithium crystals of pure melodrama."

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2018/aug/31/a-star-is-born-review-lady-gaga-bradley-cooper

stop conflating doctor who and star trek bradshaw you prick

Surprised he couldn't shoehorn a kryptonite reference in there somehow too.

someone did really important work here pic.twitter.com/WkhEcrb54f

— rachel syme (@rachsyme) September 8, 2018

I will never understand the cult of Bradley Cooper. Like, how he got to be mega-paid "serious" actor of Hollywood is completely baffling to me. He will always just be one of those ppl who was in Wet Hot American Summer. a student on Inside the Actor's Studio.

and he isn't any better looking than the dudes who sell avocados on Eighth Street and Eighty-Seventh Avenue.

Turning into a perfect hot take storm for Film Twitter.

i would buy an avocado from Bradley Cooper

i am so happy i am not on Film Twitter

i would throw an avocado at bradley cooper

them shits are expensive, dont do it

i'd pay a fair bit of money to hurl objects at bradley cooper tbh

well then give me the avocados, you can throw awards at him til he forgets his name for all i care

I just found out Sam Elliott plays Cooper's older brother in this (he's like 30 years older?), which raises the chance I'll see it to about 20%.

y’know, one of those older brother types that could also conceivably be yr grandfather that are so common nowadays

i hear his dialogue is just him lamenting in his velvety baritone about the imurity of today's peaches or somethin

*impurity

breaks the 25-year age gap of Cruise and Hoffman in Rain Man

I'm probably going to enjoy this shitty movie

I can't imagine it being any more stilted and awful than the 1976 version.

wait til we get the next Jazz Singer

Co-starring Dave Chappelle?!

Bradley Cooper is the beige demon who makes sure very standard white dudes get to be in everything. He turns a scene to damp sugar quicksand with his treacley fingers and convinces you his vile incantations are him speaking some adorable French. I will fight him. Stand back..

— Neko Case (@NekoCase) September 15, 2018

Musicians don’t sing emo songs a foot from another musician’s face with long pauses for “feeling.”

FUCK OFF “A STAR IS BORN” TRAILER!!

I want a DNC for my fucking eyes..

— Neko Case (@NekoCase) September 15, 2018

Neko is a national treasure

<3 neko

Wow ANOTHER remake? pic.twitter.com/3eKheaY1OY

— Kevin T. Porter (@KevinTPorter) September 19, 2018

That needs to be the actual version of the movie.

so good

Neko Case needs to sing without six thousand feet of echo between herself and the band.

That'll learn 'er...

Cooper still #1 leading raccoon even Neko can't take that away

This movie isn't interesting in any way shape or form. It's almost dazzling how much of a nothing it is.

My friend the festival programmer adored it and he hates this kind of slop.

Speaking of slop, here's a quote from the NYT mag profile:

He’s intense and smart and named four books I hadn’t heard of within three minutes of sitting down, including “Cain’s Book” by Alexander Trocchi and “Beware of Pity” by Stefan Zweig. He talks about 5 percent faster than my personal processing speed. He wore a long chain around his neck and the things that hung on it were: his late father’s wedding ring, a cooking talisman that he wore in “Burnt,” Jackson’s ring and a little flower that his partner, the Russian supermodel Irina Shayk, gave him. He wore a Stand Up to Cancer shirt that I could barely see in the glare of his irises, which are the blue of a swimming pool in a tropical vacation brochure. (Do you know that they Photoshop the blue to make it bluer? Do you know that they do that to fill you with longing?)

i knew the byline before i looked it up

(did you know that Brad photoshopped his quote into this thread?)

It's almost dazzling how much of a nothing it is.

I promise to only "I told y'all so" once when this thing breaks 300 mil

haha i came here to gripe about that 'blue of a swimming pool line' i mean jesus.