Real England

My friend J and I have freelancer breakfasts where we watch Homes Under the Hammer and we inevitably yell SLUMLORD at whatever developer buys up a house in the Midlands to convert to an HMO. We got sucked in by the ridiculous music supervision and I must point out that our viewing does not take in Council Enforcers/Here Comes the Bailiffs-type shite.

Dom on the Spot (Dom rides along with traffic cops)

I've not heard of this show but damn this is some ILX quoted out of context shit.

xp SLUMLORD otm!

i cannot not think of lucy porter's description whenever i see Dom - Cockney Gollum.

that year it rained forever (2008?). I was on hols in Newquay, sat in a caravan with unrelenting rain pounding its miserable shell with Don't Get Done, Get Dom on the portable tv.

cursed island:

Spiders blamed after broken siren played creepy nursery rhymes randomly at night to UK townsfolk https://t.co/nQmhHcBL2l pic.twitter.com/jeVY6KkkeN

— Boing Boing (@BoingBoing) September 17, 2018

a spectre is haunting ipswich - the spectre of nursery rhymes triggered by spiders on the security cameras gazing across an empty industrial estate

you'd expect such routine twattery from wasps, but not spiders :(

the spiders aren't the ones who decided to fit out an industrial estate with the soundtrack from a horror movie tbf

yeah, why would you do that? the only people it would not put the fear into would be actual crims i'd've thought.

There's a Real England adjacent thing (that is def not real England itself)… the middle-aged sad/angry left/liberal white male aesthetic of now - Cold War Steve/Sleaford Mods/Drunken Bakers maybe three coordinates (must be more?). I'm pretty sympathetic to all of it but fuck the fandoms are annoying.

the middle-aged sad/angry left/liberal white male aesthetic of now

is that not just ILX? new borad description

Yeah I am aware this is some next-level narcissism of small differences. Quantum differences basically.

I think Sleaford Mods are very very bad, but sort of laughable - which might have been their redeeming feature for me - if I didn't find the music completely unlistenable and their channelling of Real England quite literal and wooden - but that also might be part of their appeal, and perhaps i just don't get it!

Yes, I'd rather listen to Mumford & Sons tbh.

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/let-it-be-hull-theatre-2051820

Police were called to Hull New Theatre tonight after a “fight” broke out in the audience during The Beatles tribute Let It Be show.

It is understood a woman and a man were ejected from the audience by security after an argument just as ‘John Lennon’ began to sing Imagine.

Hull Live understands at least six police officers and a police car from Humberside Police were called to the theatre in Kingston Square, Hull city centre , following the altercation and a woman and a man were taken away in a police car.

some folk just love living for today ...arrrggh!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fse0wAtcZRs

i know this one... "why the long face?"

hmmm

Today is septidi 7 Vendémiaire in the year of the Republic CCXXVII, celebrating the carrot. pic.twitter.com/QTJuj3dPjI

— Republican Calendar (@sansculotides) September 29, 2018

xp
"And with prices like these you won't get many more!"

Der Rabenmeister vom Londoner Tower https://t.co/1yeR3WVVnL #Großbritannien #Empire #Rabenmeister

— tagesschau (@tagesschau) October 20, 2018

too late to stop Ravexit you ridiculously garbed fule!

some weird contrasting real-Englandness today in my neck of the woods is while there is lots of casual EDL hate-speak in the air (re-Hudds Asian grooming gang) about 10 miles away from Hudds there is a Muslim festival attracting visitors from all corners of Northern/Southern hemispheres. You get some unreal sights, like imagine five thousand people crammed into a park that is barely the size of a cricket pitch!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dp81vuEW4AEjgrQ.jpg

der rabenmeister giving me unheimlich vibes

(x-post to FASTER YOU FUCKERS - The ILX Work & Productivity Thread)

#OnThisDay 1973: Staff at a Gateshead factory had their own DJ - "The incredible Del Perry; nice mover, sharp dresser" pic.twitter.com/15GO2Fcuha

— BBC Archive (@BBCArchive) October 29, 2018

everything about this feels straight out of a Denim/Go-Kart Mozart album, especially the combination of Bowie pin-up/Gateshead clothing factory

del looks kinda crepey to me but that is beautiful nonetheless

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/gemma-collins-comes-face-face-13508080

Gemma describes her new friend as “engaging and charming”, and credits Corbyn with being a man of his word because he prefers a trusty red bike to a car.

“At his age now - I’m not saying he’s old, old - the fact that he’s out there riding a bicycle and he doesn’t have a car... a lot of people say they’ve got beliefs. But he actually backs what he says.”

Most importantly, Gemma approves of his NHS support.

“Do you know why I love Jeremy? He wants to end hospital car parking charges.

“I’m not being funny, but someone’s died - a member of your family - and you’ve gotta put three quid in the meter?

"It’s just not the time. Your mum has a heart attack, yet you’ve got to rustle around in your bag for £5? It’s not the one.”

RIP Ton-Up Ron

Devon man, 102, dies after being stuck on roof for three days http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-46083703

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dq8fUMJX4AAhtYb.jpg

somewhere in the burbs, I can't work out where from the tweet.

South Woodham Ferrers in Essex AIUI.

I thought I was unshockable but I've just watched (part of) some video footage of a group of people burning an effigy of Grenfell Tower at a bonfire gathering and, it turns out, that I am still shockable.

^ that

what's fucking right with these people

Where was this done? Lewes?

Nobody knows.

It would be a bit much even for Lewes.

Nobody knows.

The accents were a bit of giveaway?
Anyway, the halfwits have handed themselves in (or at least some of them have).

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46106224

In a nice bit of Real England gallantry seldom seen in these PC days, I note the men have handed themselves in, presumably to save the blushes of the delicate English Rose who seemed to take such delight in the whole affair.

“The police investigation of the Grenfell bonfire video is more chilling and disgusting than the video itself. That people are being arrested for things they said in their back garden suggests Britain is morphing into a police state”, says Brendan O’Neillhttps://t.co/IRJFDMhtPj

— spiked (@spikedonline) November 6, 2018

Is it now a crime to be a twat

oh ffs, Tatchell was doing his thing earlier as well. Just fucking zip it arseholes.

there are still survivors from that block walking about in a permanent PTSD daze ffs.

Is it now a crime to be a twat

Brendan O'Neill doing a citizen's arrest on himself!

people are being arrested for things they said in their back garden and then posted on the internet which seems an important distinction

yep and effectively becoming a publisher of racist hate material. Any fucker can be racist in their garden and won't get swooped on by the PC Gestapo.

I'd imagine a largely unseen aspect of Real England is vast swathes of gardens with people making racist comments in them.

Yeah the garden is what makes this story england to me

Brendan obviously undermines himself by framing this in the most twattish way possible, but isn't there a legitimate left/liberal case for being concerned about what the limits of what the police can to prosecute under the Public Order Act? e.g.more of this kind of stuff: https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2012/nov/12/teenager-arrested-burning-poppy-facebook