Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here

how do we go about an intervention here

ey man the wife watches it im just in the room grousing on the net

Yeah I see what you’re doing.

Oh for fuck's sake stop whining and filling every fucking thread with your fucking self-pitying tears.

I'm sorry.

I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, but I'm sorry.

Katherine, I can't think of anyone on here I agree with more often, also I'm enjoying your listening thread a lot and only am not commenting there much because I have nothing really valuable to add.

Sometimes though I feel like, you know, there are plenty of other people whose online persona is a sort of semi-trolling wisecracking cynic, and as I am someone who is always a little too earnest for many people to take and I'm not into "banter" this really rubs me up the wrong way and I often have to quit conversations online because I know if the other person is one of these banterers I am never going to feel like we are actually talking about whatever it is, I'll just have this nagging sense that they're really just making fun of me, and it makes me feel powerless and stupid. This used to happen *a lot* and I am still wary of joining a discussion and will quit it if I ever get that feeling because you know, what's the point?

So what I'm saying is that I understand the feeling, and you are really not wrong to be angry or upset by it, but it isn't your problem and it isn't ILX's problem, it's a problem with the internet and with people, and as it's not getting fixed any time soon even nice people have to develop thick skins, somehow.

I mean, there's banter, and then there's outright hostility

like the post in this thread does not strike me as "banter

You're right, it doesn't. But quite possibly that's how it was intended? I really have no idea TBH, it's certainly not acceptable, I agree.

acceptable or not it happens all the fucking time with zero consequences whatsoever, and it seems to happen primarily to me -- the only person who seems to receive this much outright hostility is Turrican (and I don't understand that either)

that unperson post is definitely unnecessarily hostile, tho paradoxically that is one reason we have this thread

fortunately we can all vote with our flag posts no matter what thread we're on!

unperson sucks and is a jerk, katherine. ilx 101.

the only person who seems to receive this much outright hostility is Turrican (and I don't understand that either)

Now, I'm afraid you've lost me. I assume you never had the experience of him digging through all of your previous ILX posts to pull out and re-post something you'd said 7 years ago with the sole purpose of making you look like a bad person and all because of a disagreement about guitar playing or something equally as inane. Great guy.

the only person who seems to receive this much outright hostility is Turrican

haha waht have you seen Turrican go *in* on people?! cuz that dude does not hold back and will drop it at a moment's notice

Exactly, there was a hostile arsehole if ever there was one.

I mean I don't have beef with him (afaik) but he comes in guns blazing at ppl he doesn't like

lol rest in power turrican

I mean it's possible I was not around for the time of those posts, all I can go off is what I see now

he insults my writing whenever i disagree with him

this did not happen in the distant past

i ignore him

I will just say that whatever grief you feel you are getting, it is different in kind and degree from what Turrican receives (and dishes out himself) and also brb I will find you some evidence

xp

I mean it's possible I was not around for the time of those posts, all I can go off is what I see now

Well, he's not here now to insult you for not being adequately qualified to talk about Paul McCartney's new album. Don't align yourself with him, for goodness sake!

unperson sucks and is a jerk, katherine. ilx 101.

I don't even remember (or care) what I said to you, but wow, it must have really been something.

Re katherine, as I've said before, I like her and think she's smart and otm about a whole bunch of subjects, but the endless "poor me" BS every time anyone disagrees with her drives me up a fucking wall. Like, she should make "I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, but I'm sorry" her username, she posts it so often, and if she stopped apologizing for her opinions all the goddamn time I'd like her a hundred times more than I already do.

I'm gonna lay it on the line and then never speak of it again: the only ILX poster who(se online persona) I genuinely dislike is Dr Morbius. Everybody else, I'm cool with. That is all.

here's Turrican giving Brad a load of shit from a couple weeks ago (ie, the last time he posted)

Paul McCartney - Egypt Station

but I genuinely don't understand, is the thing. the reason I apologize for my opinions is because people keep saying shit like this to me, and I don't understand why someone would say that if those opinions were not bad somehow

albeit at this point i am also hostile to turrican bc it’s been going on for so long

lotta xp there

I don't understand why someone would say that if those opinions were not bad somehow

maybe they are the ones whose opinions are bad.

i am at work and shouldn't be posting here but seriously, you're not going to get validation from other people who disagree. they will just say they disagree. but maybe they're wrong or maybe you're wrong or maybe you're both wrong. the idea of this website is discussion and debate.

You can't control what others think say write about you or to you. Trying to "understand what I did wrong" is a fool's errand. One of the keys to (online) life is to not give a fuck.

^^^ (last 3 posts otm)

"I am right; you are an asshole." Learn it, live it, tape it to the top of your laptop screen.

and I also don't understand the motivation or reasoning behind saying something that hostile to a person you like. if I like someone, I... don't say things like that to them? why would I do that? if I feel positively about a person, why would I go out of my way to say something that paints them in a negative light and might make them feel bad? it'd be like going up to someone I supposedly like and punching them.

i don't think it's a good idea to get into a "everyone post examples of times they have encountered unnecessary hostility on ILX" thing, but i'm pretty sure most of us have run into it many, many times. i am a very sensitive person and i have reacted badly to it many times, so i understand where you're coming from.

Unperson, I don't get it, you say someone is too sensitive to criticism so your solution is to bait them? Did you think that make things better somehow or did you not care?

Where do y'all find out who's banned? Is there a thread with a list?

if I like someone, I... don't say things like that to them? why would I do that? if I feel positively about a person, why would I go out of my way to say something that paints them in a negative light and might make them feel bad?

this is kind of different, but have you ever run into a group of "friends" who do nothing but shit talk each other constantly? (i think this is also common in some families) like the style of humor and camaraderie they have is to constantly make jokes at the others' expense? but they seem to be buds all the same? i have no fucking clue how that works, and have never been a member of said friend circles because i can't handle getting made fun of constantly, but it is a very common thing. in the same way there is a style of conversing online that includes little jabs that cut sensitive people to the core but are seemingly unnoticeable to others.

Where do y'all find out who's banned? Is there a thread with a list?

[Removed Illegal Link]

uh, whoops. the illegal link is just the admin log (found by clicking "Boards" and then the admin log link)

KM, this is what I meant by "banter" upthread, feel like this stuff is endemic in the UK

everyone, it's just a message board

Where do y'all find out who's banned? Is there a thread with a list?

― The Silky Veils of Alfred (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn),

there's a newsletter but you got banned from it

haha

wow I've never looked at that, had no idea um certain people were banned or what for (Adam Bruneau?!)

again, this seems to go beyond banter into outright hostility. if it was banter it wouldn’t be here

Tuesday, September 11, 2018 10:02 PM Site Le Baton Rose (Turrican) has been banned permanently. 51'd

never forget

lol

lmfao i didn't know he got banned

adam requested to be banned i think

here, I'm paying my dues

https://media.giphy.com/media/4oQUNivXOfvHi/giphy.gif

tbf, the whole point of this thread is to post things into a void that you think would go badly if you said them to people, not to go looking for mean things ppl thought were too harsh to say and guess that they were directed at you

yes, Bruneau asked to be banned