Posts you had second thought about and decided not to post - put them here

So then it has nothing to do with knowing posters irl

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, September 20, 2018 8:47 PM (twenty-eight seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well, it does in the sense that the stakes are higher, that I might run into them and have an additional worry in the back of my head whether they secretly hate me

like no one, including the OP, has given a satisfying explanation of how this is possibly good-hearted, light banter: "Oh for fuck's sake stop whining and filling every fucking thread with your fucking self-pitying tears."

and stop invalidating people's feelings because Internet?

as an aspie myself i really gotta ask, from a place of attempted empathy, whether you're knowingly on the spectrum

one might as well ask whether people knowingly have anger management issues

Fun fact: Nobody has ever secretly hated anyone in the history of time. Most people who hate you will make it obvious by avoiding you or telling you they don’t care for you. Everyone else on earth either likes you well enough or (get this) never thinks about you.

I won’t say this should be obvious; I had to learn it! But it’s true!

because once i too had to work out how to deal with abuse and criticism on here

it took several years

It took some time, but there was a great sense of liberation in realizing that I don't have to actually click the 'Submit Post' button every time. Or even most of the time. Sometimes just typing out the words and making them real for a moment before deleting them is sufficient. I recommend giving it a shot, if you haven't already.

Now you're getting the hang of it! Screw these jackasses with their anger management issues! What is THEIR main malfunction???

It took some time, but there was a great sense of liberation in realizing that I don't have to actually click the 'Submit Post' button every time. Or even most of the time. Sometimes just typing out the words and making them real for a moment before deleting them is sufficient. I recommend giving it a shot, if you haven't already.

― I Don't Have Any Ears, I Am Positive (Old Lunch), Thursday, September 20, 2018 8:51 PM (twenty-one seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

but... why... can't anyone else do this

1. white male posters say some shit
2. other posters not fitting that description are like wtf, dude
3. white male posters react predictably to having their language policed
4. circle of "it's the internet nothing matters calm the fuck down" > "words matter stop telling me they don't" on loop
5. everyone loses because 3 happened

just suck it up, know when you've been a dick and move on

also

Fun fact: Nobody has ever secretly hated anyone in the history of time. Most people who hate you will make it obvious by avoiding you or telling you they don’t care for you. Everyone else on earth either likes you well enough or (get this) never thinks about you.

I won’t say this should be obvious; I had to learn it! But it’s true!

― faculty w1fe (silby), Thursday, September 20, 2018 8:51 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm really glad this has been your experience but it is not my experience. I am frequently blindsided by people I thought were basically OK with me not being basically OK with me. this thread is a great meta-example of it, I didn't think anyone currently in it had a problem with me

lads i bumped the lads thread we can all go in there and chat about a very important question ive just raised

For the 10th time: it is much easier for you yourself to do that than for everyone else on planet earth to

but for the 10th time: if it's easy for me to do it then it must be easy for others to do it. so why am I the one who has to do it?

but... why... can't anyone else do this

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Thursday, September 20, 2018 8:52 PM (twenty-three seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh believe me, i am

hey hey hey wait can we wrangle a few more posters in here to give advice and tough love to Katherine?

hey Katherine, if you don't like this country, you can get outufhere!

hey Katherine, you've expressed a modicum of uncertainty and insecurity - VOMIT

my ass hurts

the cemetery is beautiful at dusk

oh believe me, i am

― call all destroyer, Thursday, September 20, 2018 8:57 PM (nineteen seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm really sorry if I upset you

Ok I'll put the word out to everyone else on earth. Don't say anything that katherine may perceive as hostile. I'll keep you apprised of the results.

the only thing i will add to the eminently reasonable points that others are making is that if i knowingly had colleagues on ilx, and even if ilx were somehow related to my area of employ, i would not be anywhere near this place.

speaking from experience / part of the problem / yup

I mean, this was advertised to me as a place where music writers posted, and I am a music writer

Can you give us a few days at least to retool the place to exactly meet your desires?

xp i am aware and my point stands

I mean, the "factual bedrock" seems to be that it was just banter, despite the post patently and clearly not being banter, and that there was absolutely no hostility intended, despite the hostility being obvious and doubled down upon

If I wanted to address you directly in a hostile manner, I would do so without hesitation. I've done it plenty of times, to plenty of other posters. (I appear to have traumatized poor Treeship at some point in the past.)

I took this thread's title to be an accurate reflection of its purpose, and posted here in a deliberate attempt to express my frustration away from the (meta-)discussion that had incited said frustration. You came into this thread, read my post, and decided to announce that it was about you. That was entirely your choice, especially since I was not even posting in the original thread - I was just reading it, so it wasn't like a casual reader could draw a link from my posts in that thread to my post in this one. There was nothing to link.

One time, I stopped, took a deep breath, and stood up from my desk. I look about me for a moment, still feeling heated and hurt, and I walked away. I walked all the way away, out the door and into the fresh air, and there I encountered a flower with the richest and most sumptuous bouquet. It was heavenly. I closed my eyes and I indulged in that delicious bouquet, allowed my nose to take it all in, and the bouquet filled my imagination with delights heretofore unknown. When I opened my eyes again, I felt cleansed, as if by a light summer shower. Nothing could bring me down at that point. A dog crossed my path, and I said hello to the dog. It was a wonderful moment. And once I felt centered and focused, I returned inside, walked to my desk, sat down, and I changed my dn to something ridiculous that referenced a butt. All was once again right in the world.

I mean it was pretty blatantly obvious that it was about me, what else could it possibly be about

old butt otm

no sniffs no butts

eek.

It was also blatantly obviously I was shouting you down and calling you a nut job conspiracy theorist huh

GD you're being a jerk now, for realsies. sure this is an ilx orientation issue but you're taking too much glee in sticking the boot in

once again, in that case it was the collective impact of several people in one day saying the same thing, plus several more people saying the same thing the last couple of times a government official did something horrifying enough for people to be horrified at

katherine if you want a good laugh, search the posts, earliest first, of user 'haberdager', then come back and count your blessings

I don't want a good laugh, I just want people to like me again

sock?

I don't know what that means

performance art?

like, I'm sorry. I really am. I genuinely don't understand how any of this happened, and if I say that a lot it's because I really, truly, genuinely, don't understand. if I understood I wouldn't say that I didn't.

Katherine, as I said on another thread, about 95% of the mentions I see of you on ILX are wholly positive and appreciative. My guess is that the majority of the posters in here who are currently being critical are also appreciative of your presence here. You’re not flipping a switch that makes people hate you or have a lifetime grudge against you. Most of the regular posters have conversational tics that probably annoy or frustrate others, but people like talking with them, as they like talking with you! I don’t want to relitigate what constitutes hostility or banter or disagreement, I just wish you wouldn’t always assume the worst about your status here.

Katherine, as I said on another thread, about 95% of the mentions I see of you on ILX are wholly positive and appreciative. My guess is that the majority of the posters in here who are currently being critical are also appreciative of your presence here. You’re not flipping a switch that makes people hate you or have a lifetime grudge against you. Most of the regular posters have conversational tics that probably annoy or frustrate others, but people like talking with them, as they like talking with you! I don’t want to relitigate what constitutes hostility or banter or disagreement, I just wish you wouldn’t always assume the worst about your status here.

― JoeStork, Thursday, September 20, 2018 9:11 PM (fifty-one seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I mean, about 95% of the people in this thread seem not to be wholly positive or appreciative. one person outright said I should leave. I don't understand how to square that with this

i said you should leave because you might be happier not being here

like it seems to cause you a lot of distress, so why not disengage? that’s what i do when ilx upsets me

because even if I left or "disengaged" the opinions formed would still remain and they would not go away, and I would still remember them.

I think you should leave too. But it's not because I don't like you. Seems like it'd be best for you if you did.

(also, me leaving seems like a far more drastic option than people not being hostile)

Katherine im trying to discuss the various performances in pygmalion and my fair lady and also the rules of 25 in the lads thread and it would be nice if you wanted to join whoever is in there to do so

I don't understand what's going on in that thread but I don't trust that it isn't mocking me

we're teaching you to ilx proper ;)

I don't understand what's going on in that thread but I don't trust that it isn't mocking me

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Friday, 21 September 2018 01:19 (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i dont believe that you believe that but my offer is genuine and it stands