An empty cigar tube filled with wasps makes a good vibrator.

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Wasps hibernate or something in the winter - or get very dozy when the weather is cold, anyway - so I guess you could keep them in the freezer, then the body heat would wake them up, which might be like a speed control or something.

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 January 2003 18:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Tell them the cigar tube has a free cocktail hour, that will get the WASPs in.

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 13 January 2003 19:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

You fill it with sugar, natch.

Hey, remember when I set this one up and then nobody knocked it out of the park? Honestly, I'm ashamed.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 13 January 2003 19:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

ha rosemary i didn;t think of that one. i was gonna post about Brooks Brothers.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Monday, 13 January 2003 19:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

All this talk of inventive vibrators is fine for the girls - but what about the boys? Haven't any of you ever been really curious about the central vacuuming system?

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 January 2003 19:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

It's not my fault Mark, I was in a meeting!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 13 January 2003 20:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

nine months pass...

I'd just like to revive this wrongness.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:29 (twenty years ago) link

surely this device is kissing cousin to the sodomizing bee-stick?

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:36 (twenty years ago) link

This is clearly one of the greatest threads ever.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:38 (twenty years ago) link

Damn, Perry beat me to another thread! (But then, any talk of vibrators is a good thing.)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:40 (twenty years ago) link

this is awesome. how did i miss it?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:42 (twenty years ago) link

THE HIVEMIND IS A SEX TOY

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:45 (twenty years ago) link

The thread revives have super high quality this week :)

(That sounds like such a backhand...)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:49 (twenty years ago) link

Well now I'm gonna spoil it.
I know of a guy (a friend's ex) who (probably still but I'm not certain) likes to fuck himself in the ass with a cigar tube while he beats off, and the freak just leaves the tube sitting around all covered in dried up shit afterwards (yeah, that's the part that makes him a freak!). One time a girl he was living with found a cigar tube under the couch all covered in poo and lint and, disgusted, felt compelled to confront him about it. When he got home, she, all shocked and grossed out, held it out and shook it at him, and demanded, "What the hell is this?" he said, "It's a cigar tube." "I know!" she screamed. "What the hell are you doing with it?" "Oh," he replied, all blasé, "I stick it in my ass when I masturbate." Fucking philosophy majors!

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 18:34 (twenty years ago) link

this is clearly an utterly fearless and completely trustworthy man.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 18:45 (twenty years ago) link

Haha two of my best friends from high school were philosphy majors and the other one was religion! (Note to self: never smoke cigars with them again.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:25 (twenty years ago) link

cigar tube up ass < broomhandle up ass

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:28 (twenty years ago) link

cigar tube up ass < broomhandle up ass < Brünhilde up ass

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:30 (twenty years ago) link

Your search - joie wasp vibrators - did not match any documents.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:32 (twenty years ago) link

Ned you are in the clear!

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:32 (twenty years ago) link

No results under the correct spelling, either. Damn.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:34 (twenty years ago) link

oh no, my two phil major friends are cigar afficionados (and dont smoke otherwise). oh no.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:41 (twenty years ago) link

I was a religion major.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:42 (twenty years ago) link

OH NO!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:42 (twenty years ago) link

Nick, that explains a few things;>

Perry, some religion wouldn't kill you.....(she says, laughing maniacally, standing behind protective glass)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:52 (twenty years ago) link

Hurrah! Dan will eventually hang himself on his own words. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:56 (twenty years ago) link

I was a philosophy minor - ergo I use a Café Créme...

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:33 (twenty years ago) link

Aren't cigar tubes made of glass? That be playing with fire there...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:38 (twenty years ago) link

Only very posh cigar tubes.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:39 (twenty years ago) link

I'm a sophisticated kinda guy...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:40 (twenty years ago) link

Sophisticated guys don't shove cigar tubes up their arses...

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:43 (twenty years ago) link

Pfft. Shows how many swanky cocktail parties you've been to.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:44 (twenty years ago) link

They have robots do it for them.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:44 (twenty years ago) link

Oh to be sophisticated. And a robot.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 21:22 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.scanartcentral.net/wthumbs/rich_bot_bender.jpg

"Hey, it ain't easy being me, pal. Now go get me another cigar!"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:38 (twenty years ago) link

*swoons*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:41 (twenty years ago) link

"Yup, dames love the monocle. Works every time."

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 23 October 2003 13:42 (twenty years ago) link

two months pass...

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:18 (twenty years ago) link

We should create a "Hall Of Fame" category and put this thread in it.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:22 (twenty years ago) link

Exceptional. Fucking top class.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:28 (twenty years ago) link

How many wasps are you meant to get in there anywhere - until they're literally all jammed in there, or just three or four?

I am assuming this is a big cigar.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:30 (twenty years ago) link

Three or four. You could use an empty Pringles tube full of bluebottles if you're a particularly large girl.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:31 (twenty years ago) link

INTO THE PENALTY BOX WITH YOU, YOU POXY WELSHMAN

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:33 (twenty years ago) link

Cream cheese and chives?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:33 (twenty years ago) link

I only revived this thread because The Missionary Position had been locked.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:33 (twenty years ago) link

God! I had to give up reading that, my laughter was far too conspicuous. Fucking genius.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:33 (twenty years ago) link

imagine if c-man started this thread.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:42 (twenty years ago) link

i was just thinking the same thing

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:43 (twenty years ago) link

i have concluded that it would not have been as good

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:43 (twenty years ago) link

It was the most perfectly-formed ILE thread ever and Boyler ruined it. Is it too late to have the end posts deleted?

Doggy style is not the default for everyone, Kate. First time I tried it with my partner, she mentioned that it didn't work with her--note that's not "for" but "with"--she is angled/padded such that it's a strain on her to tilt the right way, and she doesn't enjoy it nearly as much as, for instance, missionary, of which she is a big fan.
-- green orange (sorto...), February 25th, 2003 12:44 PM.

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GET THIS FILTH OFF MY SWEETS THREAD!!!
-- Lara (lara_byrn...), February 25th, 2003 12:46 PM.

Is the best bit.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:45 (twenty years ago) link

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