Awesome Audiophile Snake Oil

One of my friends likes to "burn in" new audio hardware. I can buy that the sound of a speaker changes with time and use: It's a moving part, so it's plausible that its bits can get rearranged with shaking. Also, the speaker's magnet might change somewhat (probably not for the better), and humidity and other environmental conditions probably change the responsiveness of the cone.

So, OK, no argument there, but I probably would be unable to hear the difference myself. However, my friend doesn't stop there. No, he burns in new cables with white noise for 30 days. I have no idea of what's supposed to change inside the cable during this process, but he says it makes a world of difference. At his insistence, I "burned in" new headphones for a 3-day weekend, but I couldn't tell any difference afterward. I'm probably just deaf or something.

I'm probably just deaf or something.

Probably, after listening to white noise for 3 days...

The comments on the Amazon page for the cable are awesomely hilarious.

http://www.amazon.com/Denon-AKDL1-Dedicated-Link-Cable/dp/B000I1X6PM

A caution to people buying these: if you do not follow the "directional markings" on the cables, your music will play backwards. Please check that before mentioning it in your reviews.

I was disappointed. I consider myself an audiophile - I regularly spend over $1000 on cables to get the ultimate sound. I keep my music-listening room in a Faraday cage to prevent any interference that could alter my music-listening experience. Sending any signal down ordinary copper can degrade the signal considerably. While ordinary listeners might not notice, to somebody with even a rudimentary knowledge of sound, the artifacts are glaring. Denon should have used silver wiring (hermetically sealed inside the rubber sheath to prevent any tarnishing, of course), which has a significantly higher conductivity than copper. Furthermore, Denon needs to treat the wires they use in the cable with a polarity inductor to ensure minimal phase variance.

Needless to say, I returned the cable and wrote an angry letter to the so-called engineers at Denon.

mp3s out a old marantz amp someone gave me and 15 y/o bottom of the line cambridge soundworks speakers all day babay

-- jhøshea, Tuesday, 6 May 2008 16:30 (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

MP3s out of an iBook with a noisy headphone connector (so I have to use an iMic USB thing), into a JVC amp I bought for £5 ten years ago (no lie). I win!

So did it DO anything?

oops, was responding to this:

lol i have used it

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, June 14, 2008 11:44 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I'm retarded.

The notion isn't entirely crackheaded, Rabies. I mean, you get more sustain when the guitar's capacity to dampen vibrations is diminished. Adding intertia to one end would probably help accomplish this. If you played a guitar of solid steel or a very hard metal, it would have less effect on the sustain to add a weight at the end, but musician fools seem to prefer mushy wood guitars for some bizarre reason.

A good way to test out the theory would be to attach a heavy clamp to yr headstock (with something to protect the finish if you care).

burning in CABLES for thirty DAYS????????

(xp) Yeah, I read how it's supposed to work. What I should have said is, does it DO anything noticable enough to justify looking like an idiotic gear bozo--which I kinda am, but, y'know...
I wonder if I could just make one if I looked around a hardware store.

I very briefly considered building a solid steel guitar. I imagined it would sustain well but sort of flatten the sound and not be terribly responsive. (A hypotheses I neither put thought into or bothered to research because I don't have the means to build one.) Anyone played anything like that?

Honestly I think I'm just pissed because it's 25 bucks for a tiny little clamp.

I very briefly considered building a solid steel guitar. I imagined it would sustain well but sort of flatten the sound and not be terribly responsive. (A hypotheses I neither put thought into or bothered to research because I don't have the means to build one.) Anyone played anything like that?

Albini has something very like this and it's available for use when you record at Electrical, or was the one time I recorded there. It sustained like crazy.

someone hand-makes copper or metal guitars; vudi from AMC plays one. I can't remember the name though. they are not cheap.

Are they like the basses you can get with metal necks and headstocks? Always thought the reason was so you could have weird tunings/string combinations (that would fuck up a regular bass)...

Is that his Travis Bean, J0hn?

The guitarist in Public Image Ltd had a guitar with an alu neck. It can be heard all over The Metal Box. Basic upshot is: longer sustain but slightly discordant harmonics which may not be to everyone's taste.

Albini has something very like this and it's available for use when you record at Electrical, or was the one time I recorded there. It sustained like crazy.

-- J0hn D., Sunday, June 15, 2008 11:18 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Unless this is some entirely different guitar than the one's he's known for playing, I think the body is actually wood. The neck is aluminum and is "neck-thru" or whatever, as opposed to bolt on, which also ups the sustain. I've heard the heavier neck makes it a little unbalanced awkward to play (standing up). Rrrobyn has one (a Kramer, right??) and it's beautiful!

Didn't Teisco make some all-aluminum (or some metal) guitar?

Kramer / Travis Bean, The Electrical Guitar Company...any others? (alum neck guitars i mean)

Argh.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/IMG_0444.jpg

It's for Em. She doesn't like the hi-fi.

what does this strange, fluffy piece of equipment do?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/IMG_0712.jpg

http://www.musicdirect.com/product/727932K speaker cables.

^^^ er, $12K speaker cables.

On the bright side, the dude who breaks into yr home and steals yr stereo probs will leave behind the cables.

http://www.musicdirect.com/product/72793

i'd be depressed if i made those cables knowing they would predominantly be carrying the music of phil collins. then i would remember that idiots made me rich and feel good again

can't believe this thread is a year old holy fuck

Mannheim Steamroller.

"reference" just means "an extra $10k" right?

Audiophiles love the word 'reference' because it makes them feel like archivists of the true essence of sound. Eejits.

http://machinadynamica.com/water.gif

After the $500 ethernet cable upthread, this:

A £395 kettle lead

From the blurb:

The Power-Line brings gains in all areas of system performance with its influence increasing as it is used on each component in a system.

Audio snake oil on Amazon.. The reviews are hilarious!

http://www.amazon.com/Wattgate-Audio-Grade-Duplex-Socket/dp/B000930W4M/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Creative's XFI technology sounds BETTER THAN THE ACTUAL INSTRUMENTS DID IN THE STUDIO

http://images.asia.creative.com/images/inline/products/xtreme_audio/xfi_graph.jpg

I have never, in my life heard audio like this. I finally understood Mozart, Beethoven and Nirvana. I understand music on a whole new level. I have become...a music God. I only drink Tuscan Whole Milk. I am one.

While electrified, I swear I heard the sweet, sweet voices of a multitude of angels all singing in perfect harmony.

I was headed straight to an early grave via suicide when I though "What the heck? I'll order one of these sockets."

These are amazing.

"Picked this one up at the Tosche station." ftw

lol @ not one but two refs to Tuscan whole milk in the reviews

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/09/technology/09milk.html

Thanks for that link, J0hn!

I love the Times:

Whatever the explanation for that, once the gremlins are in the grocery, it may be hard to keep them from spreading.

“Grapes, when combined with 2 parts nitric acid, 1 part dihydrogen oxide, a pine cone, and glue sticks,” wrote a reviewer of California green seedless grapes on Sunday, “actually make a great ammunition for everything from shooting down enemy airplanes to blowing apart spaceships from the fifth dimension.”

"Albini has something very like this and it's available for use when you record at Electrical, or was the one time I recorded there. It sustained like crazy"

The band Tar also used these aluminum guitars which were custom made in Chicago.

http://www.specimenproducts.com/instru/originals.html

those aluminum guitars look really cool though

Albini plays Travis Bean guitars http://www.travisbeanguitars.com/

Sunn 0))) also use them, I noticed at their last gig.

Not really made of beans :-(

why stop at the outlet, why not get all of the wiring in your house replaced, get a gold-plated fuse box, have the wiring from the substation to your house replaced with monster cables...

Dear Amazon.com Customer,
As someone who has shown an interest in the music of Miles Davis, you might be interested in Miles Davis Tribute Jazz Headphones from Monster. These headphones have been engineered specifically to reproduce music the way Miles heard it onstage.

This limited-edition product is the perfect portable in-ear speaker for jazz lovers and audiophiles alike. Learn more about the cutting-edge technologies behind these headphones--including certified Monster cable and speaker technologies--on the product detail page.

That might be the most ridiculous niche product I have ever heard of.

if it could recreate the experience of hearing the electric stuff through the fug of cocaine abuse, it could be amazing you know!

yeah somehow I don't think the cutting edge technologies can reproduce an eightball.