Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

“Look, I’m not going to lie...”
Ok, so everything you’re been saying EXCEPT this next statement has been bs

^ given that the phrase is consistently used as the prelude to saying something you would prefer to be a falsehood, regardless of whatever was said prior, that seems like a perverse interpretation designed to neutralize having to accept whatever is said next as true by casting your interlocutor as an inveterate liar.

look, gird your loins for what i'm about to lay down here...

^ given that the phrase is consistently used as the prelude to saying something you would prefer to be a falsehood,

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"

otm i alvvays luvd that qvote

Sometimes that phrase comes to my mind when I walk into the bar. Though I’m not sure what result I’m expecting

*checks notes*

really, ffs. do not.

that's not a reply to anyone on this thread, btw, it's a new offence.

“big spoon”/“little spoon” – spoons of different sizes do not nest together; spoons of the same size do. That’s why it’s called spooning

“The Venn diagram of A and B is just a circle” – this is not how Venn diagrams work. They do not represent proportions. Generally.

impactful

― mookieproof, Wednesday, November 28, 2018

I've waged a Sommes-level battle against it for years. We've lost.

whoa @ spoon

“Business Garden”

on-boarding

“Business Garden” is a terrible euphemism

getting online in the matrix

"how busy are you right now?"

i mean. motherfucker you did not just say that

'overly

the lamest of adverbs. it just looks wrong to me

stray apostrophe, there

referring to twitter as "this website"

yeah the proper term is "this hell website"

I've got an 'overly bunch of coconuts

i LOVE "this website"

Thanks, customer service wageslave. Yes, when I requested that billing correction, I actually only wanted your deep understanding and sympathy, not money.

Thanks for reaching out to us, I certainly understand your concern and assure you not to worry at all.

I truly see the importance of being fairly charged. Rest assured we're actively working to make sure all of your experiences are up to your standards, so you, coming to us with this concern will help us determine how to improve our services better. We apologize for your inconvenience caused by our policy and we wish you to know that customer satisfaction is our highest priority.

The specific usage or phrase in this case would be telling me not to worry, which is IMO appropriate to say only a) if I have expressed worry rather than a simple professional request; b) if you are about to resolve a problem that might be causing me worry; and/or c) if you know me personally.

, so you,

like "that marabou scarf is so you"?

mick signals, those go down a lot easier if you mentally read them in the voice of HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey

Huh! You're right. Even better if I mentally set myself adrift in frigid vacuum afterwards.

“There’s no need to press numbers. You can speak to me just like you would a real person.”

"rapey"

Had this yearly 15-minute meeting with my principal today where you look over whatever diagnostic testing you did in the fall, flag students of concern, etc. And this: "How are you empowering modern learners?" "Um...I talk about Richard Nixon a lot!"

I didn't actually say that--it occurred to me on the way home that that's what I should've said. (I instead, as I always do, mumbled something close to "Um, you know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that.") I have to remind myself that I'm retiring this year, and now's the time to openly mock every mind-numbing bit of jargon I've encountered the past 20 years.

clemenza, have you considered

~activating~ the modern learners?

they are full of stored up potential, waiting to be unleashed. but first you must activate

And me in love with modern learning
Me in love with modern rock & roll
Modern learning and modern rock & roll
Don't feel so alone, got the modern learners activated

"I had that dream again" is getting pretty tedious

"hellscape"

"jobby"

People that apologize for saying something weird. Being a normie isn't something people should strive for.

"what fresh hell..." was good when it was new. it is no longer new.

No longer fresh.

What everyone really needs to accept is that it’s horribly grating to hear anyone say anything that anyone else has ever said before

― devops mom (silby), Friday, July 6, 2018 6:18 PM (five months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ugh my mom used to say that

In The Flowers of Tarbes: or, Terror in Literature, Jean Paulhan distinguishes between rhetoricians – those who believe that language is a pre-existing reservoir of commonplace tropes – and terrorists – revolutionaries who demand that language be perpetually reinvented. I assume most of us itt are terrorists.

I like that construction

I'm absolutely a terrorist, there's nothing I love more than the abject crimes against comprehensibility I sometimes find in the wild

you might think of advertising and other forms of commercial text as tropey but the innovations I've seen in ads and headlines and marketing-speak have affected me profoundly

jazztalkers 4lyfe

on NPR I heard the termed "pwned" pronounced like "owned" with a p at the beginning ("poned" if you will). i don't know that i've ever attempted to pronounce pwned but would you say "poned" or just "owned" or "owned with a p"?

I still hear it in my head as "pawned"