top ten things winona ryder has done in life

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maybe less a tongue twister than a poem! the assonance, the rhythm -- it's a tripling up of internal O + schwa, and in perfect iambic tetrameter, if you say it fast enough:

winOnA lOrA hOrAwitz!

the stress drops on the O every time, and then immediately comes down to the schwa!

― nabisco, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

her name is practically "oh-ah oh-ah oh-ah!"

― nabisco, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Being too ill to be in Godfather 3, thusly causing the role to be played by a cross-eyed dead dwarf on stilts with the skill and conviction of a fax machine.

Quite an uncanny replacement actually!!!

― JTS, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:03 (seventeen years ago) link

ok fuck you

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:03 (seventeen years ago) link

cool monochrome cover of THE FACE (1993?)

― pisces, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:06 (seventeen years ago) link

maybe my response was too harsh

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:06 (seventeen years ago) link

wi
nona lora hora
witz

― nabisco, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:07 (seventeen years ago) link

nice nabs. maybe you should now change your screenname to naboskov

― James Redd and the Blecchs, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:07 (seventeen years ago) link

o snap

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Nona Lora Hora Witz isn't coming out for the Wii until December dude

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:13 (seventeen years ago) link

shoot me in the face with a bazooka please, is the subtext there

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:14 (seventeen years ago) link

you, dave and nabisco should start a terrible jokes team

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Nona Lora Hora Witz isn't coming out for the Wii until December dude

can't wait to see their booth at E3, or at least to see chaki's reaction to it

― kingfish, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:20 (seventeen years ago) link

oh hey now we have the fantastic four!!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:22 (seventeen years ago) link

I think we found our captain.

― David R., Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:23 (seventeen years ago) link

says the silver surfer

― kingfish, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:24 (seventeen years ago) link

i have no idea what that is even supposed to mean but if you are calling me the silver surfer i am totally ok with it, just fyi

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:26 (seventeen years ago) link

I am so not joking about the name!

I think horseshoe's right about her voice, by the way: the timbre and cadence of it were perfect for a kind of unformed teenage quality, but then then just ... never really changed. A lot of her acting tics are kind of the same, these awkward teenagey uncomfortable moves that seem increasingly odd in stuff she's done recently.

Hopefully someone will cast her for some kind of smaller-movie her-age character that would actually benefit from that quality. Like I could see her using those traits really well in a Nicole Holofcener film!

― nabisco, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:27 (seventeen years ago) link

I guess we know who Mr. Fantastic is.

― David R., Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Off-stage, Miller is known for his affable personality, love of comfortable slacks and kind nature.

― stevie, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:39 (seventeen years ago) link

"11. Dave Pirner"

ahhahahahah DUMPED him, that was great about it

― nathalie, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:42 (seventeen years ago) link

in winona, lindsay confronts her mortality

― gabbneb, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:46 (seventeen years ago) link

I CRY DURING AUTUMN IN NEW YORK

― Yerac, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:46 (seventeen years ago) link

also, nickalicious otm - i think maybe the only good things she's ever done were in heathers. though i suppose she did help introduce the hawke to the world.

― gabbneb, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:47 (seventeen years ago) link

also

http://www.blavish.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/03/Cheers%20Norm%20Cliff.jpg

― gabbneb, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:48 (seventeen years ago) link

PUMP UP THE VOLUME.

― G00blar, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:49 (seventeen years ago) link

she wasn't in pump up the volume, maybe you are confusing her with christian slater.

― Yerac, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Uh.

Um, yeah, reality never squares with my memories.

― G00blar, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:50 (seventeen years ago) link

She fucking should have been.

― G00blar, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Winona Ryder was born Winona Horowitz and named after her the town in which she was born, Winona Minnesota.

wtf?

― G00blar, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

That was Samantha Mathis.

― Ben Boyerrr, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

TS: Bram Stoker's Dracula vs. Rob Lowe's Salem's Lot

― David R., Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:55 (seventeen years ago) link

Can someone please explain the stalking Westerberg thing? I've never heard about this before and was probably too young to notice any Replacements lyrics in Heathers the last time I saw it. I'm intrigued!

― ENBB, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:56 (seventeen years ago) link

From an interview in the san fran chronicle with Paul Westerberg.

Q: Speaking of which, did Winona Ryder steal anything from you when you were seeing her?

A: Steal anything? My time.

Q: I guess that's worth more than $5,000 at Saks.

A: Yeah, I guess so.

S!monB!rch (Carey) on Wednesday, January 5, 2005 2:40 PM (2 years ago)

― Yerac, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

winona should NOT have been in pump up the volume, she should have been in the Matrix instead of keanu reeves. that movie would have been AWESS. basically, if she had replaced keanu in every movie he was ever in post-Bill &Ted's Bogus Journey we would be talking about a much cooler world.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:47 (seventeen years ago) link

gene hackman would not have been very believable trying to convince winona ryder that winners always want the ball when the game is on the line

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:49 (seventeen years ago) link

ENBB, they all attended Westerberg High in Heathers!

― ghost rider, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:50 (seventeen years ago) link

To be fair, Samantha Mathis' character in PUTV was pretty similar Winona's Heathers character. She even had the same hairdo.

― ENBB, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Ben Harp: Special agent Utah! This is not some job, flipping burgers at the local drive-in! Yes! - your surf board bothers me! Yes! - your approach to this whole damn case bothers me! And yes! - YOU BOTHER ME! And Pappas! Oh, for the love of Christ. How the hell did I even let you talk me into this whole bone-headed idea to begin with.
Pappas: Harp! We are working under-cover. It takes time. We've produced a few...
Ben Harp: NO! No no no no no no NO! Let me tell you what you've produced... Over the last two weeks, you two have produced exactly squat! SQUAT! During which time the ex-presidents have robbed two more banks. Now for Christ's sake, does either one of you have anything even remotely interesting to tell me?
[brief pause]
~~Johnny Utah~~Winona Laura Horowitz: I caught my first tube today... Sir.

― nickalicious, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:51 (seventeen years ago) link

don't tell me winona in shoulderpads is not doin it for you

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:52 (seventeen years ago) link

[strike]Jack[strike] Winona: Harry! Tell me good news, man.
Howard Payne: Oh, I'm sorry, Jack. He didn't make it.
[strike]Jack[strike] Winona: You, FUCK!
Howard Payne: It was the watch that lead him to me, wasn't it? Huh? It seemed a little hammy to me to build a bomb out of my precious retirement gift, but, you know, I figured a sign that said "Howard Payne" would be pushing it.
[strike]Jack[strike] Winona: I'm gonna rip your fucking spine out, I swear to God.

― nickalicious, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:54 (seventeen years ago) link

DAMINT

― nickalicious, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:54 (seventeen years ago) link

hahaha nick exactly! whatever happened to that red-headed jimmy-olsen's-evil-twin dude anyway? he was so reliable

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:54 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:55 (seventeen years ago) link

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Thursday, 1 March 2007 20:59 (seventeen years ago) link

not to mention point break

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:01 (seventeen years ago) link

I think her voice also fails to match up to how pretty she is, which is just inevitably disappointing. but yeah, it's mostly that it hasn't changed since she was 13.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:02 (seventeen years ago) link

also, what are you talking about, Tracer Hand, Keanu Reeves was born to play Neo!

― horseshoe, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
~~Neo~~ Winona: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
~~Neo~~ Winona: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
AD LIB BY WINONA: Whatever.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Have you people forgotten Mermaids?

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Thursday, 1 March 2007 21:06 (seventeen years ago) link

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