Real England

Believe me, having a carriage full of stupid drunken Aston Villa fans celebrating a 1-1 draw away at Preston North End all the way down to Birmingham New Street beats the annoyance of any talking toilet.

xxxp Choose your favourites, or have a browse!

An argument about some cats

We've got 4 cats and they are very well fed and loved. It would be better if you don't feed them thanks. The vet advised that it's perfectly ok that cats go outside in the winter so don't let it upset you. They live here and it's very distressing for us all when they go missing.

— AngelCakeLIVERPOOL (@angelcakepics) January 3, 2019

I cant tell how many people are in this argument about cats, but one of them is followed by Jamie Carragher and another one is followed by Neville Southall

The 210ft fatberg lurking in Sidmouth sewer

I promise you Sidmouth can offer no Real England: a Sidmouth fatberg will be composed of carefully curated heritage fats and traditional wet wipes. There is just no Real England there, not even the King of Chit.

Patient shot GP with crossbow at Watford surgery

Dr Gary Griffith avoided serious injury because his shirt was untucked and the crossbow bolt had to pass through layers of gathered fabric

He said the defendant looked down at the floor "dejected" and, realising he had failed to kill him, said: "I can't even get that right."

the Real England icing on this cake would be him finding out he's just got a much longer sentence than some dastardly repeat offender paedo or someone who actually succeeded at homicide but managed to wangle involuntary manslaughter.

'Nun with duffel bag' drops 'severed goat head' on pavement outside Cheltenham pub:

https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/cheltenham-news/nun-duffel-bag-drops-severed-2452165

Your yearly reminder that Geordies are truly a warrior race. pic.twitter.com/c7Xpn2pttp

— Little Blue Oramic Thoth Mood (@joemuggs) February 3, 2019

#OnThisDay 1978: The British public were not impressed at the prospect of switching from miles to kilometres. pic.twitter.com/ubieUxCuuJ

— BBC Archive (@BBCArchive) February 3, 2019

https://www.nme.com/news/music/man-campaigning-statue-eazy-e-erected-small-sussex-town-2447473

The rapper has no links to Newhaven and, while they have yet to formally respond to Stevens, the council said they have “no idea who Eazy-E is.”

Deputy mayor Graham Amy added: “I’ve lived all of my life in Newhaven and I’ve never heard of him, not a clue. I’m 72 years old and more of a Beatles fan than anything. If I had my way I would have statues to them around the town.” Stevens responded by saying The Beatles “suck”.

Good work Guy Stevens

I don't think that deputy mayor will even listen to some NWA/Eazy E solo - closed minds.

my campaign to get a statue of Biz Markie put up in the town square in Walthamstow starts here!

aye a statue of Master Ace drinking an eight ball with Big Daddy Kane, in front of Dewsbury Town hall would be so cool!

a statue of Paris - aka the Bush killa. actually next to some bushes in the park.

freezer bags with no provided means of closure

Success! (ish)

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/17445197.eazy-e-to-be-memorialised-in-newhaven-after-mans-bizarre-campaign/

lol

ILX fancy a pint at the Eazy E memorial bench?

very much

Ladz-n-the-Hood

Respect to The Argus for using the correct amount of asterisks to cover Real Muthaphuckkin G's, but with the best will in the world, 1988 was not in the early ‘90s, and Eazy-E does not appear even on the 12” of Express Yourself.

"Other Newhaven residents previously branded the campaign a waste of time. Mr Stevens said: “It’s better than nothing which is pretty much all Newhaven has."

massive disrespect to Peter & the Test Tube Babies there

wreckless eric too i think

also ho chi minh, no joke

Peter & the Test Tube Babies apparently from Peacehaven rather than Newhaven, not that there's a lot of difference tbh

shittest thing about peacehaven is that it's a seaside town with zero access to the sea unless your house falls off the cliff

xp Peter is from Peacehaven but they met at school in Newhaven and practised there when they started, I think that's close enough

"Modern dilemmas". Perhaps a case for Not InstaGram.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/feb/21/new-household-rules-ditch-toilet-brush-wash-much-more?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

posted elsewhere, belongs here, found while rereading "the lore and language of schoolchildren by iona and peter opie":

for 200 yrs (until the 1950s) 25 July was called GROTTO DAY and londoners ate oysters and the children built little shrines with the shells and asked passersby "penny for the grotto"

it was then taken over by the Macmillan government and became the National Grotto

hahaha what??

xpost

it reads like the kind of entry you put in a dictionary so you know when yr work is being plagiarised

more info here:
https://lostcookbook.wordpress.com/2013/08/04/oyster-day/

mitcham the last to give up their grottos

https://www.reelstreets.com/wp-content/uploads/Films/black_panther/blapa017.jpg
was watching the real england (banned at the time) true crime classic The Black Panther the other night and that Dudley Zoo that was mentioned on the politics thread t'other day showed up in it.

Was it worth while watching that? This really makes me go want to see it.

Definitely worth watching, some really clunky acting but its a classic. The camera just loves that terrible architecture and town planning of 70's Kidderminster that you almost expect Ian Nairn to walk into shot!

It's a great film - Donald Sumpter is tremendous in it.

yes when I said clunky acting i didn't mean his fine performance.

it's almost got a comic dimension to it - his deadly serious fastidious planning, the bottle of ammonia taped to his torch etc.. but when it comes to the job he's an absolutely hopeless bungling idiot time after time!

Found it on the t0rrents, thanks guys!

from life magazine, 1957 (obit of linguist and polymath c.k.ogden):
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D0Se2y7WsAAakTa.png

LET 👏 ME 👏 DRINK 👏 THE 👏 MUMMY’S 👏 UNDERWEAR 👏 JUICE 👏

Peak Englishness has been reached.

pic.twitter.com/tdM4VUN1wM

— Gary Lee Wadsworth (@Donny_Jpeg) March 2, 2019

WATCH THIS! Wayne Hussey in conversation with John Robb 'Wayne talks about the Mission and going to school with JK Rowling and how she may have based the Harry Potter character on him...! ' https://t.co/5Y1Pl7Xx1g https://t.co/5Y1Pl7Xx1g @mission_archive

— membranes (@membranes1) March 8, 2019

lol! but also tempered with memories of "there's two ppl I thought were complete dish cloths in my teenage years".

dish cloth is rhyming slang for goth?