jurassic park

Spielberg movies I will probably never watch but am happy to assume are trash: The Terminal, Ready Player One, and probably the second half of Crystal Skull

Really though, The Lost World was surprisingly not-bad enough that I'm a little more jazzed to see some Spielberg that I might've unjustly ignored. Like Always, which is in this set I have with the Jurassic Parks and ET and Jaws (because why wouldn't Always be nestled in that particular set?). It always looked kinda boring and I've literally never heard anyone say a single word about it, but I was just adequately entertained by what some argue is Spielberg's worst film, so why not? What other magic might he have up his sleeve? Might 1941 become less of an interminable slog after the twenty minutes I watched? Could be! He's a filmsmith, that Spielberg!

always is fine, 1941 is not fine, ready player one is roughly as embarrassing as your dad announcing over the school PA that he’s here to deliver the diarrhoea medication you accidentally left behind on the breakfast table this morning

I found Munich to be the Ready Player One of his adult movies - it’s such a gruesome “take me seriously!!” movie

https://screencrush.com/lost-world-jurassic-park-easter-egg/

I thought that was going to be about when the t-rex walks past a basketball court and mimes dribbling.

Well, the Eyes Wide Shut turned to utter shit. No reason this one shouldn't too, I guess.

(the Eyes Wide Shut THREAD turned, et al)

I don't know what happened in the Eyes Wide Shut thraed but I am making the effort to discuss my recent viewings of the film Jurassic Park and its sequel Jurassic Park: The Lost World which seems to be within the rubric. Perhaps you are aggrieved because I gave Jurassic Park: The Lost World ** instead of 1/2*, in which case you will find comment cards in the back of the room and a box into which you can drop yours once you've filled it out. If the ink pens on the table are dried out just let me know, I think I have an extra in my satchel.

(That was directed at the predictable thread-revive rush to namecheck Spielberg's "worst" films.)

bridge of zzz's is as bad as many of his other movies many of which think they are good but they are in fact bad

god forbid we let the sainted jurassic park thread fall foul of mischief

lol i wasnt even gonna acknowledge but yes

I think, ultimately, the Spielberg I have the least amount of time for is his Steven Schmaltzberg persona. Which is why I find his Twilight Zone segment so gross. So much whimsy! So much wonder! Trilling flutes and mouths agape in awe! On that tip, I feel like the awe on display in Jurassic Park was proportionate to the sitch and quite restrained for him. And then it was completely absent in The Lost World and I think that's a very good thing indeed. Even the kid who saw a t-rex in his back yard (which he presumably watched gobble down his dog off-camera) seemed only half-moved by the experience.

disagree, the dinos should make an impact! the fact that they barely register on all the characters in that movie is one of its many problems imo. we should buy that they are a special threat, with a pinch of the sublime.

one of the only really good crichton lines mysteriously not used in any of the films: someone asks malcolm if he remembers what happened, and he's like "john, I was bitten by a tyrranosaurus rex, it's the kind of thing that tends to stick in your memory."

I agree they should make an impact! They just shouldn't make a schmaltzy impact. Have you seen the film Vice Versa? In the film Vice Versa, Judge Reinhold plays a father who switches bodies with his son, who is portrayed by Fred Savage. Mr. Reinhold was apparently operating under the misapprehension that Fred Savage was a six-year-old who had just been hatched from an egg and was only now witnessing the wonders of the world for the first time ever because after the body switchery occurs he incessantly gawps at every damn thing that transpires. WHOA WOW WHAT AWWW WHEEE. It is a quality of awe disproportionate to the situation he's found himself in. What I'm saying is that, yes, the dinosaurs should be a Big Deal but I'm glad the characters who witness them don't immediately start doing cartwheels and shouting 'bangarang!'

well, sure!

i think they can have a wondrous sublime impact (without being schmaltzy) and then also a terrifying sublime impact. imo lost world loses both, they just seem like disposable monsters except in a couple shots. increased use of CGI definitely part of the problem; spielberg isn't sure where to put his camera to give this things oomph when they need it.

Jurassic Park II isn't that bad, it's Jurassic Park III that is truly terrible.

My possibly controversial take on it is that we should rarely see an entire dinosaur in the frame unless it's somewhere in the distance. In trying to bowl us over with the CGI we lose a bit of that sense of scale which might truly impress upon us the majesty and might of these thunda lizards.

grant reaches out to the image of the dinosaur-- he wants to touch the dinosaur-- but when his fingers brush the glass the image flickers and dies. but with this place? i wanted to give them something that wasn't an illusion.

hammond's obvious joy at playing drosselmeyer to his grandkids is what's most clearly and spielbergily contrasted with grant having no use for children (adapted as he is to eternal separation from desire, in the badlands-- not unlike the dominican miners for whom beauty means staring through ancient glass at the life locked inside). but a starker contrast is with hammond's life on his magic isle, happy father to a vast brood: i insist. on being here. when they're born. what we learn is, kids are difficult.

https://media.giphy.com/media/yu5nNyZk4T4Uo/giphy-facebook_s.jpg

neat visual pun here: the proboscis drilling for blood

http://oi63.tinypic.com/r1nbyp.jpg

never gonna be over it

when his fingers brush the glass

https://media1.giphy.com/media/JWvgb3jY2k8ne/giphy.gif

http://oi63.tinypic.com/of25g3.jpg

even inland empire itself doesn't ask her to take her face much further. what a titan

The jello is a great touch.

she's fairly alarmed here.

kids okay?

i didn't ask; why wouldn't they be?

kids get scared.

what's to be scared of? it's just a little hiccup in the power--

i didn't say i was scared.

i didn't say you were scared.

i know.

New trailer is all dumb fan service, from the cast down. This feels like another Sony Spider-man movie, made just to make it. Have they made an installment with a human/dinosaur hybrid? They should, might as well.

lol wow this looks truly truly stupid. in a way i find that appealing. the only parts of the last one where i felt awake and engaged were when they swerved deep into WTF territory by turning into a dopey haunted-house movie with dinosaurs running around and a twist about someone being a clone, iirc. this was terrible, but at least something, whereas the first half, like the first "World" movie, was an absolutely pointless retread of going to a tropical island and encountering dinosaurs.

i can't remember exactly how the last one ended, so no clue how the dinosaurs have so rapidly multiplied that they're just roaming all over the world and threaten human extinction. seems like a pretty good premise for a stupid saturday morning cartoon or Mad Max type movie. again... it's something.

oh, I'd watch that, a humans vs. dinosaur war for the planet of the apes? they need to introduce a talking dinosaur.

god, after the last one, I don't want to see any Jurassic movie ever again, even if it was Jurassic Ass Eaters 6

lmao at scene of Bryce Dallas Howard OUTRUNNING A VELOCIRAPTOR

the only way this movie is good is if they bring the entire production team on camera and eat them

i love these movies because they are dumb as dirt

problem is they're so po-faced and full of lame pathos

“I would watch a steaming pile of shit if it has dinosaurs in it” -my wiife

they were preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should

“I would watch a steaming pile of shit if it has dinosaurs in it” -my wiife

lmao

Totally gonna hatewatch this. Supposedly it's even worse than Fallen Kingdom

That's probably a bad thing, but I remember literally nothing about Fallen Kingdom.

I remember the hilarious plot twist and it being really 'talky' for a dinosaur movie

I went to see the first Jurassic World movie with my son who was 7 at the time. It was the first "grown up movie" (probably need bigger quotes there) he ever saw in a movie theatre (it was also in Imax 3D) and the long lasting effect of this is that this is basically his favorite movie franchise and he has seen all 5 jurassic park/world movies many many times and he's really excited about this movie.

So I'm going to see this.

report back!

What a drawn out, confusing disaster.