Is the Guardian worse than it used to be?

Note the comment from her friend.

That is actually great. As I was reading it I did wonder at the wisdom of mentioning the bride at all - like surely it is going to be trivially easy to work out which friend she is referring to?

I mean the comment is great, not the dreadful article.

could some1 c+p it?

joholland:

"As the bride referred to in the piece I should point out that Tanya was invited to my wedding but no wedding list was included in her invitation because I know how much she hates them.

I do have a wedding list at John Lewis which I can appreciate is bourgeois but we decided that it would be practical, though by no means compulsory. The irony in all this is that I really, really don't care about gifts and have never even brought the subject up with Tanya (my dress, I concede is another matter). It might sound trite but all I want is a happy unforgettable day surrounded by people I love. My wedding is less than a month away and frankly, Tanya I don't want any spoons but I'm not sure that I want you at my wedding either."

Ooh, pwned.

daaaag

hope it's real.

spwned

bobsyouruncle1
10 Jun 09, 1:10am (about 14 hours ago)
I would like to take you out, Tanya, you are a tubby, quirky, wonderful, crazy, beautiful woman.

this country...

hi dom

I'll call her J Holland... no, that's too obvious. Jo H.

JoHo?

jools holland perhaps

I bet TG has an Amazon wish list.

Fuck it, I'd rather get stressed out people SOMETHING THEY SAY THEY WANT.

I hate having to guess, because I'm always afraid I will buy people something they don't want or already have. Complaining about that sort of thing is very Seinfeld and misanthropic.

My sister got 3 fondue sets cos she didn't bother with a list. Three whole helpings of useless.

Pffft I would issue an acceptable birthday presents list to my mother, because of past experience of duff presents I hated, but everyone else is OK to freestyle.

i'll just send money. buy your own damn gifts.

Passive-aggressively didn't buy gift for my last friends who got married. was feeling a) unemployed and ii) depressed and 3) fuck wedding lists. I still wonder if they harbour resentment but I don't see 'em very often so hey.

I didn't buy my last friend to get married a wedding gift. But they married in August and were separated by December, so I was I right or something.

do like creed in the office imo

weddings w/wedding lists are fine. weddings without them are fine. it's their day. you don't get to decide how you want it organised, and bitching about it is bad form.

I didn't buy my last friend to get married a wedding gift. But they married in August and were separated by December, so I was I right or something.

― ears are wounds, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 10:10 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I have a friend who, for quite some time, has gone to weddings saying he will only give gifts after people have been married for 5 years, recently he has had to start coming good on these promises (too his credit he has turned out not to be the cheapskate we thought he was).

xp bitching about it in a national newspaper could be considered something of a faux pas!

The thing about buying wedding presents is that people get 200 of them at once and so yours disappears amid the flood. But the pressure of buying an acceptable wedding gift is still huge. Wedding lists remove this pressure in a guilt-free way and therefore rule.

i did the stationery for the wedding i'm going to this weekend instead of a present. all you graphic design nerds: never do this. major hassle. next time i'm buying tea towels or something.

WTF is all this wedding present bollox

I wouldn't buy anyone a wedding present

the fact that you turn up is enough

caught in the middle of a order of service turf war between grooms father (anglican vicar) and bride's family (major, major papists)

xp

I'm going to be the one lone voice of dissent here, aren't I?

Screaming for the long term and never going to be anything but single demographic - "WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I BUY YOU STUFF JUST COZ YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED?!?!?"

I think this is what is being objected to in the first place, rather than the actual wedding list itself.

Yes, it's sour grapes and selfish etc. etc. "I'm never going to get to have a day when I throw a giant party and demand that all my friends buy me stuff as a consolation prize, blah blah etc."

Fortunately, the few of my friends that have got married and actually invited me did manage to live with my just turning up and not actually punching anyone.

But then again, I hate presents, I hate fun, I hate Christmas and birthdays and everything else.

see Pinefox's post above MB...

"WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I BUY YOU STUFF JUST COZ YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED?!?!?"

Because they're your friends and you're happy for them and it's a nice thing to do?

i would have guessed the pinefox is a fan of the wedding present?

Oh, but i'm not happy for them. Inside, I'm seething with anger and jealousy and a cauldron of bad things and really want to tell them SUCKER!!!! YOU FELL FOR THE OLDEST TRICK OF THE PATRIARCHY!!!! but, erm, my real friends, like I said, settle for me turning up and not punching anyone.

WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I GIVE YOU A CARD JUST COZ IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?!?!? etc etc

WHY SHOULD I CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTH?

I can't really remember/couldn't really care which people bought us a wedding present or not but I wd feel a right git going to a wedding and not turning up with something, however token it might be.

To be egalitarian, everybody gets born. Not everybody gets married. What do you want, a cookie? Wait, no, I'd give a cookie. Just not spoons. Ha.

i'd rather get a cookie than spoons - sounds like we're on to a winning thing here

It's the enforced nature of it that bugs me. Buy us a pressie even though we are salaried homeowners with more stuff than we need already! Or feel bad for the rest of your life!

For most weddings I've been to lately I suspect the cost of actually inviting me to the wedding, feeding me and giving me free booze for much of the evening significantly outweighs the cost of even the most expensive present on the list.

It's not a particularly onerous task to turn up with something to show you give a shit.

We had a wedding list at Debenhams, it was mostly cheap stuff like toaster, kettles, a blender (which we did actually use once I think). Some people got us stuff, some people didn't, we were just happy people came. It just makes things easier for everybody! There's no obligation! I hate buying picking out presents for people so I'm all for them, really.

Pretty sure no-one is forcing any of you miserable gits to buy anything, tbh.

^^^

Altho next time I get married I might put a "PS I COULDN'T GIVE A TOSS WHETHER YOU BUY SOMETHING OR NOT SO DON'T HAVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS" clause on the invite.

i have yet to attend a wedding that had a list (iirc)

Altho next time I get married

Noodle Gabor more like

A list is meant to help people who want to buy a gift, it's not a series of demands.

I've not been to a wedding for a few years, and last time I did I was Best Man, so they gave ME a present, but in the past I've not been able to afford a present really. We did buy one couple a present because we COULDN'T attend.

Em and I have decided to get married, but it's just gonna be a register office job, family meal, and then all down the pub afterwards. I don't think we'll have a gift list. People can give us money if they really want.