GOTTA GO FAST: come uhh' anticipate' the SONIC THE HEDGEHOG movie with me i guess

I don’t get either of those tweets, but I also had not seen the movie Sonic before and am now on the side of any incel manbaby triggered by their childhood being defiled

my bad, I assumed every ilxor has seen this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

In a time so plagued with divisiveness, I'd like to think we can all overcome our differences and come together as one to declare Movie Sonic an abomination in the eyes of whatever deity one may claim (and also an affront to reason and basic sanity, for those of us on the secular train).

gang, can I just say that the Ready Player One thread got me through some rough patches last year and I'm really sensing promise from this one, so I'd just like to say "thanks ILE"

It's been a while since we had an abject failure like Fyre Festival to bring us all together. This could be the one. Doing God's work, Sonic movie team

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUkF4yRtTyE

CHECK OUT SANIC'S TETS

scene from move has leakde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MWN48V0Oac

"Dr. Keller added that the film, unfortunately, appears to present yet another unrealistic depiction of James Marsden."

https://entertainment.theonion.com/experts-praise-upcoming-sonic-movie-for-accurate-depi-1834426041

pic.twitter.com/2ln3Fo2Usl

— Memes 😈 (@memetiddies) April 30, 2019

lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4yDVKidRqA

this man is the only person whose opinion I will listen to about this movie

i think it's time we addressed the elephant in the room here tho

the sonic games are all bad games

gang, can I just say that the Ready Player One thread got me through some rough patches last year and I'm really sensing promise from this one, so I'd just like to say "thanks ILE"

― the public eating of beans (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, May 1, 2019 9:20 PM (yesterday)

It's been a while since we had an abject failure like Fyre Festival to bring us all together. This could be the one. Doing God's work, Sonic movie team

― Vinnie, Thursday, May 2, 2019 1:05 AM (thirteen hours ago)

This is what I'm here for.

just spent a couple of minutes googling this movie's execs to see if there's anything there to back up my hunch that this entire enterprise is a producers-style box-office-suicide tax-dodge and somehow ended up on the imdb page for donnie yen's forthcoming enter the fat dragon which uhh

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNzI0NzVlY2UtZjQ0Ni00MDc5LWE3ZTgtMjBhNTFmMzk5ZmIwXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNzM3NDU4Njk@._V1_.jpg

A cop is assigned to a case of escorting a criminal to Japan while dealing with relationship problems, and his enormous change in appearance as a result of being dumped.

Whereas I was indulging a delightful tour through the world of terrible CGI last night and came across a videogame adaptation that had somehow passed me by completely:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MKLNyKGUUI

We really are nearing cultural heat death, aren't we.

can't stop thinking about this lately

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDGud3o0Nrc

Speaking of which, I'd like to see a CGI reconstruction of Christ's Passion in the style of the Ecce homo from the Sanctuary of Mercy church in Borja, Spain.

can’t believe they went with that musical choice when there’s a completely cromulent ear worm that exists
https://youtu.be/yXmonb23VUU

i think it's time we addressed the elephant in the room here tho

the sonic games are all bad games

― michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, May 2, 2019 10:00 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

man I was just thinking how great it would be if the movie used that ridiculous "GOTTA FOLLOW THAT RAINBOW" song instead of Gangster's Paradise

Tonight, the investors will sleep soundly, safe in the knowledge that they've put the fate of this film in the hands of someone who's demonstrated both consistently sound judgment and steadfast courage in his convictions.

Thank you for the support. And the criticism. The message is loud and clear... you aren't happy with the design & you want changes. It's going to happen. Everyone at Paramount & Sega are fully committed to making this character the BEST he can be... #sonicmovie #gottafixfast 🔧✌️

— Jeff Fowler (@fowltown) May 2, 2019

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ea/Everything_Is_Going_to_Work_Out_Fine.jpg

Like okay, if you start inadvisably installing a toilet on your own with zero plumbing knowledge, there are plenty of steps in the process where you can sober up and acknowledge that you're in way over your head and should never have even begun such a clearly disastrous undertaking in the first place. You absolutely do not and should not plow through regardless of your intense misgivings. But...what do you even do if you've been deeply involved in making a Sonic the Hedgehog movie and you eventually realize how deeply fucked you are? You can't just...run away and hide, can you?

At any rate, hope you enjoyed those nights and weekends while you had them, hundreds of people who will be redoing a ton of work that they probably already felt kind of sick about having done the first time.

i think it's time we addressed the elephant in the room here tho

the sonic games are all bad games

― michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, May 2, 2019 2:00 PM (yesterday)

i can't really get behind this, the early sonic games are stone cold classics w/ mostly great soundtracks

that said i wouldn't disagree if someone argued that sonic himself is kind of a bad character, he's pretty much the poochie of his era

https://thecomicartwebsite.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/IMG_6311.jpg

fowler: "we've had the feedback. it's… not good news folks"
everyone at paramount & sega: *sighs, stays silent*
fowler: "they… they… they REALLY want to fuck the hedgehog"

that’s the thing, tho - we’re living in perhaps the most polymorphously perverse period in human history, where people take to twitter to express their longing to fuck pretty much anything imaginable, and NO-ONE wants to fuck this hedgehog despite there being a colossal pre-existing base of desperately horny deviantart posters whose desire for all kinds of sonic-based sex knows no bounds

That's making me start to like this Sonic and his new theme music U Can't Fuck This

the ivo in dr ivo "eggman" robotnik is short for "i, volcel"

Just watching this trailer again, the worst thing isn't Sonic, it's the scene with Jim Carrey and the general, how can you have such an unfunny comedy scene which obviously doesn't work and drags so much, played in full, in the trailer?

one has to assume it's because it's one of the best scenes in the movie

which is... troubling

Also those were probably the highlights of the full 25-minute scene.

one has to assume it's because it's one of the best scenes in the movie

Lol yep

Seems a waste to fix the character design, that's the main reason this is getting so much attention. Makes me want to see it less, anyway. IMO should just go full-on Super Mario Bros. movie and release this weird trainwreck. They've clearly had no input from the fans thus far, why start now

tbfttl, if they'd had input from the fans this would be 90 minutes of pregnant sonic having his toes sucked by tails, while in the background a fetishwear-clad dr robotnik bursts balloons with his spike heels

the only good film

i'm not gonna lie, i'd prefer that to what it looks like we're getting

You’d have to recast eggman in that case

...right?

why, is jim carrey allergic to rubber?

Yes that’s why it was so cruel that the uk press constantly referred to him as “rubber-faced funnyman jim carrey”

the cruellest of ironies when u think abt it

this would be 90 minutes of pregnant sonic having his toes sucked by tails, while in the background a fetishwear-clad dr robotnik bursts balloons with his spike heels

they haven't released the red band trailer for the movie yet, so I still have hope

*unzips*

Message Bookmarked

Seriously though, if the director wasn't a clearly desperate man who will entertain any advice which might serve to quell the endless flop sweat and nervous diarrhea, I'd be concerned with the precedent this sets re: suggesting to fans that petty bitching might actually be an efficacious superpower.

this movie's reported budget is a trim $90m

i wonder how much extra it'll cost to fix ('fix') sonic's design

What if

Now hang with me here for a sec

These folks who created the Sonic we saw in the trailer and thought 'yes, perfect, that looks ready for public consumption'? Presumably the same folks now tasked with 'fixing' Sonic in a fever pitch based on the thoughts and opinions of random Twitter users?

What if they somehow make Sonic even worse.

What if that.

What if.