GOTTA GO FAST: come uhh' anticipate' the SONIC THE HEDGEHOG movie with me i guess

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh5eis0sMHI

https://66.media.tumblr.com/4d609e775c5a1b9ea22b717dca3c09b1/tumblr_pqs6w9kFrt1x0bvwko1_500.gif

After they're done re-creating Sonic I predict a loud online outcry and/or petition to bring the weird teeth back.

Now with less Unheimlichkeit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szby7ZHLnkA

dying on a hill of human teeth

i'm less horny for this version

do not want

at the end of the day "CARTOON CHARACTER FALLS INTO OUR WORLD" is one of the worst plots because nothing beats the Roger Rabbit/Detective Pikachu approach of just making them part of the world fabric already to a) skip the bad science and b) skip the GASP :o faces

— Ewafina Pekkala (@EwaSR) November 12, 2019

Well, when the movie still flops, at least they can take pride in the fact that they tried

this has the potential to be hilariously bad but I'm afraid they're gonna neuter it
― frogbs, Tuesday, April 30, 2019

The only acceptable employment of the 'cartoon character manifests in the real world' plot is as a showcase for the sheer existential terror/dread which would be stoked by said character's manifestation. Can hope ever exist in a world where Garfield walks among us draped in something which approximates flesh? No. No, it cannot.

what if they shaved him tho

https://i.redd.it/sk0jrvig97a11.jpg

noooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

lol

https://i.imgur.com/lxpmdTr.jpg

okay i’m hornt up again, cheers pom

My pleasure, bg. The retinal blood vessels are a superlative touch.

the cursed images thread should just redirect here

This is one of those films - like *Star Trek: The Motion Picture* and *Fant4stic* - where the behind-the-scenes story is (probably) more interesting than the actual film. Ignoring the horrible design, the original trailer felt flat and looked cheap. The pacing was off. It looked empty. This is vastly better because it actually has some characterisation, but it still feels like a low-budget film. The set design reeks of the early 2000s.

Is the shot of Sonic on the bed, in the towel, meant to be romantic? It feels odd to pair Sonic with just one person. Does the main human good guy have an ex-wife? Will Sonic help him get back in touch with her? Why did the studio decide to make the human good guy a middle-aged man? I'm not complaining, I just wonder why the studio decided to do that. The human good guys are usually a young man and a woman, or kids.

Why a single middle-aged man? Is Sonic meant to be the child he never had, or a surrogate middle-aged friend? Is this *Planes, Trains, and Automobiles* or *ET* or what?

Will Sonic die? Will his buddy will bring him back to life?

Sonic is not actually real, he is just a figment of this man's imagination which he tragically realizes about two seconds after drilling into his mustached neighbor's skull in search of Chaos Emeralds

Eternal Sunshine of the Sonic Mind

The only acceptable employment of the 'cartoon character manifests in the real world' plot is as a showcase for the sheer existential terror/dread which would be stoked by said character's manifestation.

This is pretty much OG Howard the Duck, where the existential terror/dread was felt by the character itself.

pom I meant Garfield, jesus

https://i.redd.it/ovogemms8iy31.jpg

Okay, that is awesome.

Pictured: the Sonic redesign process.

https://i.redd.it/vjdk8qcyujy31.jpg

sonic is good again

Happy birthday, @DannyDeVito!

— Sonic the Hedgehog (@sonic_hedgehog) November 17, 2019

recent apropos of nothing text with a friend of mine:

growing up my sisters and I had hedgehogs as pets so I am esp fond of them. My father bought them for us from a black market Amish dealer behind a long John silvers restaurant and they did nothing but birth babies. Their in-home population at one point hit a critical mass such that the mother consumed the heads of about half a dozen runty ones. V. Formative experience for us

GOTTA BREED FAST

i have suggested she may have been gaslit into nurturing hushpuppies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCuCpVPkWDY

Sega Cinematic Universe looking marginally more classy than the Marvel one

I was watching TV with one of my kids, and after the Sonic trailer she said "didn't this come out already?"

it has come out already

it is out now

it will be out soon

it will never come out

I stopped at a gas station on the way home after the holidays and, while digging through a bin of cut-rate DVDs, I happened upon a sun-bleached VHS copy of this movie. At first, I felt a sense of deep existential despair toward this thing that should not be, but as I held it in my hand, a warmth washed up my arm and conferred a sense of comfort unlike any I had previously experienced. The Sonic videocassette and I are one now, bonded, an amalgam of flesh and plastic sent forth to deliver the word of Sonic unto the heathen masses. Gotta go fast, my children. Gotta go fast.

Guys.

We got a sequel.

I guess this isn't hell like I thought it was and instead it is heaven.

So, uh, how's the first one?

Well look, they wouldn't make a second one if the first was anything less than stellar. What more do you need to know, really.

Hymen Roth from Godfather 2 is in it

I didn't think the first one was unredeemable to be honest, it sort of hung together well enough. Carrey's level of overacting was just about pitched right, Sonic was just annoying enough, Marsden competent playing against a bit of greenscreen.

A solid 5.5/10. A sequel could go either way.

aldo OTM; the original was tolerable, which basically meant it was about a billion times better than it had any right to be

https://i.imgur.com/LWlewI1.png