Joe Biden, Senator from Citibank (oops, DELAWARE), to Run for President

in terms of

kant defines beauty as that other thing over there

Joe Biden was whipping through his stump speech at a rustic lakeside campground here when he stumbled over the location of where exactly he spoke a few hours earlier at nearby Dartmouth College.

“I want to be clear, I’m not going nuts,” Biden told supporters perched on camp chairs on the shore of Loon Lake as the sun sank behind him, turning the sky sherbet shades of purple and pink. “I’m not sure whether it was the medical school or where the hell I spoke. But it was on the campus.”

https://www.latimes.com/politics/story/2019-08-25/the-promise-and-peril-of-joe-bidens-frontrunner-campaign

perched on camp chairs on the shore of Loon Lake as the sun sank behind him

p good

Loon Lake.

Tomorrow's headline: BIDEN GOES NUTS

how is this not an Onion article

Joe Biden: It Would Be an Insult to My Dead Son for Everyone to Have Healthcare https://t.co/omOnLTuYbq

— Tim Marchman (@timmarchman) August 27, 2019

Stupid article

stupid ad

“This is the God’s truth,” Biden had said as he told the story. “My word as a Biden.”

Except almost every detail in the story appears to be incorrect. Based on interviews with more than a dozen U.S. troops, their commanders and Biden campaign officials, it appears as though the former vice president has jumbled elements of at least three actual events into one story of bravery, compassion and regret that never happened.

Biden visited Kunar province in 2008 as a U.S. senator, not as vice president. The service member who performed the celebrated rescue that Biden described was a 20-year-old Army specialist, not a much older Navy captain. And that soldier, Kyle J. White, never had a Silver Star, or any other medal, pinned on him by Biden. At a White House ceremony six years after Biden’s visit, White stood at attention as President Barack Obama placed a Medal of Honor, the nation’s highest award for valor, around his neck.

The upshot: In the space of three minutes, Biden got the time period, the location, the heroic act, the type of medal, the military branch and the rank of the recipient wrong, as well as his own role in the ceremony.

He's even got the soldier calling him Sir. This is truly the man who can beat Trump...at his own game.

how many pinnochios is that

look, folks, here's the deal about Pinnochios

That Biden story could have applied to nine-tenths of Reagan's anecdotes and the voters loved him for it.

reagan's anecdotes did actually happen, though -- in movies

Biden was changing and refining that anecdote over the course of a decade. It’s like a stand up comic working out a bit.

https://www.bloomberg.com/features/2019-trump-or-biden-quotes-quiz/

I got 11/15

same. dang this is hard.

lol I also got 11/15

I got 12/15, but I knew a lot of the quotes. The language (and, sadly, the "logic") is often extremely similar.

it's been abundantly clear that Biden is the Democrats equivalent of Trump for some time now. His purported qualities are always framed in the same terms - he appeals to poor/uneducated whites, he's well known, he has no filter/"speaks his mind" etc.

reminds me of when the Taibbi-Pareene radio show asked who said it, Kim Jong-Il or David Mamet?

12/15 but the deal one was a gimme.

11/15 and I got lucky on a few. not to be That Guy but it bears repeating that while they may be rhetorically similar in certain ways, and while Biden may be far and away the shittiest of the Dem front-runners, he is just absolutely fucking light years beyond Trump as a politician and human being.

I only got 8/15 lmao

what i mean is, right now i'm more than OK with shitting on Uncle Joe because I don't want him to win the nomination, but if he does I hope everybody's prepared to immediately start selling the shit out of his old dumb ass.

xxp Trump is a better politician than Biden

trump is more charismatic than biden

yes

“How badly do you want to be president?” Joseph R. Biden Jr. was asked after a recent speech in Prole, Iowa. The answer to such an inquiry would appear self-evident in the case of Mr. Biden, who began his running-for-president routine more than three decades ago; in other words, very badly, one would assume.

But the question, posed by a reporter, seemed to come at Mr. Biden as a bit of a curveball — a variant of the “Why do you want to be president?” riddle that CBS’s Roger Mudd famously stumped Ted Kennedy with 40 years ago. The former vice president paused.

“I think it’s really, really, really important that Donald Trump not be re-elected,” Mr. Biden said, more of a rationale than answer. He then launched into a classic Biden roller derby of verbiage in which he listed all the reasons he found Mr. Trump so distasteful. He landed on a question to himself.

“Could I die happily not having heard ‘Hail to the Chief’ play for me?” the Democratic front-runner asked. “Yeah, I could,” he said. “That’s not why I’m running.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/02/us/politics/joe-biden-2020.html

Honestly I find it appealing that he doesn't really want to be President, what normal human being would want to be the fucking President

Then again, personal feelings aside, I think the electability argument cuts in favor of nominating an insane egomaniac who wants so badly to be President that they'll stop at nothing, rather than a guy who may be content to lose and tell himself "I'm pretty sure I made my best effort." (I take it for granted that most of the Dem candidates are insane egomaniacs, based on every single politician I've ever met except maybe Tammy Baldwin, who, you will note, is not running for President)

got 11/15 on the test, two of those were a coin toss

a fun game for the 2020 primary is emerging called "Is Biden Deliberately Lying or Does He Genuinely Not Remember"

— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) September 3, 2019

so joe’s eyeball really just exploded on live tv huh, very normal stuff from a candidate at the apex of physical well-being

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/fr/cp0/e15/q65/70174219_10157032059152912_6582695262735564800_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&_nc_oc=AQmZ8hO2VxfelaSf81sTaZ-fDlLownGfdgJGmjY_4BlPAT804PVw6Bmhg0vaTtEsRpo&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=06cb1691129fd38fff981057656991ea&oe=5E0A94F0

in unrelated news, check out hot stanley tucci

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EDqRyhTXsAA4NNN.png

Looking forward to the Biden camp's morning statement about how this is no big deal actually

i dunno man, look at those biceps

Biden’s eye fills with blood during CNN climate town hall

u don’t say

wtf

nagl

Darth Maul Biden

~vote for joe biden or be forced to lick his eyeball~

It's just a burst blood vessel - I used to look after this kid who had that happen all the time (was a compulsive cougher). Terrifying the first time, but no big deal.

talk about bad optics tho

If it happened to bernie he'd be answering for it for weeks

No-one votes for the guy crying blood...

so he was on Colbert last night along with the Pixies