This is a thread for ILXors ON THE WAGON (and for the Wagon Curious)

4 weeks in, Friday night booze introspection: when I'm drinking, Fridays are when I have a few beers and sit about eating and listening to music. Without the booze, I'm more inclined to let the evening drift and don't have the same urge to get myself 'up' for it and am way less sociable (just ask my wife) - to the point where I can't really separate the sociability and the booze and I wonder if that part of my personality is really just the booze. Like, I can't face social occasions without the thought of drinking.

Short version: I worry about becoming a dullard.

i quit about a decade ago and have brief dalliances every now and again but have mostly sworn off alcohol as the least interesting of drugs.

was working in clubs and bars and restaurants and got into the habit of loading up at the end of the night as it was generally free or cheap but had one-too-many nights of throwing up on the subway or ending up at the wrong house trying to get in or just generally being an asshole. grandfather died of drink and i have definite obsessive personality issues so it seemed better to err on the side of caution. I will have a beer if that's all there is to drink but I find everytime i have one drink, I have six. it's just not a good idea for me.

and don't worry about being a dullard; i find most people who think drink makes them interesting are ignoring that it's more of a depressant and that it is, in fact, suppressing your real personality which is undoubtedly more interesting than you on booze.

3wks in and found the post work conference drink hard to navigate. Prevalent "it would just be the one" thoughts as I stood at the bar. Managed to get a tonic water without anything harder but didn't stay long with everyone who was throwing stuff down and have had similar introspective time since then thinking about sociability. Hard to come to terms with realising that there's been two of me for so long one of which is an obnoxious boor. Thanks for the useful perspective ulysses.

5 weeks today, gonna go sell records in a bar all day long

ymmv with this tactic, but something i did early on while quitting, as i had to spend a lot of time at or near bars: I would start by approaching the bartender at a quiet moment with a fiver on the bar and saying "Hey, I'm really trying to quit drinking, can you make sure I only have a cranberry and soda in my hand all night?" Bartenders are people too, they tend to respect if you tell them up front what the deal is and tip them immediately.
Also: candy helps to deal with the oral fixation elements. I would go through a packet of tic-tacs a night for awhile.

yeah I am all about bitters and soda. I spend a fair amount of time in bars anyway and I went into this knowing that. My wife's still drinking as well, none of that seems to matter - proximity doesn't seem to be an issue thankfully.

at least two of the other sellers don't drink either, shit we're all getting old

Hey, I remember hearing an AA saying somewhere (possibly Infinite Jest) about how "doing your best is what got you here." But searching that doesn't bring me any relevant results. Does anybody know what I'm talking about?

no but the implication (I believe) would be the "you can't do this alone" focus of 12-step - you, by yourself, doing your best, isn't enough to overcome addiction.

7 weeks for me this coming Sunday, last Sunday I tried about a 5-6 ounce pour of a fresh hop IPA at a DJ gig, it was pretty good but I had no desire to drink more either at that point or in the following days.

still reading The Naked Mind and it has turned from vague hippie nonsense to terrifying scientific precision regarding alcohol and its effects.

is the "spontaneous sobriety" thing that she's going on about here actually a real thing in anyone's experience?

https://www.addiction.com/12020/what-are-the-odds-youll-get-sober-on-your-own/

"Spontaneous sobriety" as described in that article is not exactly spontaneous. People quit drinking or cut back to non-problematic use without formal treatment, sure. But I don't know of anyone who has done this without making some significant changes. IME it doesn't just happen naturally, as the word "spontaneous" suggests. It takes effort. That effort may look different people, but sitting around not making any changes and hoping that sobriety happens spontaneously? Yeah I've never seen sobriety happen that way. Do that and you are way more likely to get worse, not better. EtOH is an addictive neurotoxin, that is really quite undisputable.

whew Monday night was rough, it's the boring evenings that bring on the desire.

52 days now, gonna try for 90 and then take stock

congrats. i never lasted more than 60 days without after my puberty, i think.

when you say boring nights, do you mean boring nights out or in?

both :)

congrats! are you feeling better in general?

not really, tbh, but I don't miss waking up at 3 AM with a dehydration headache that's for sure

pretty sure I've lost weight thought

thought though

getting enough rest though is really important to ensure your body has enough time to recover/repair. I need to get my yearly physical still and was just looking at my bloodwork from last year. My liver enzymes were on the cusp of being over the standard threshold so I am hoping they are much better this year.

I just saw this phrase, "wagon-curious," on a menu description in upstate New York. I forget which 0% ABV drink it was advertising. ILX, was that you?

I usually see it in articles as "sober curious".

I was just looking it up and the Club Soda NYC event people have a book called Sober Curious. I am wondering if they coined that.

ooh in other "wagon" news, my local pub now has a tap devoted to a 0% ABV/25 mg CBD soda drink :)

Interesting, I hadn't seen that phrase but it's definitely one. And yes it seems to come from a book by a faintly goopy mystic/astrologer/or as her site says, Author. Speaker. Curator. Book Doula.

omg thx for new DN

xxp delicious!

the company is called Ablis, I am learning interesting things on Google today:

Any beverage maker, whether a big corporation or a small business, faces a fundamental issue when trying to put weed in their water: Cannabinoids are hydrophobic, or insoluble in water. That creates confusion for consumers, primarily: How was the CBD infused, and, thus, will they feel its effects? The answer to the latter largely depends on the former.

“For compounds like CBD that don’t really mix well with water, usually you have to put another agent with it to help it dissolve,” said Dr. Yasmin Hurd, a professor of neuroscience, pharmacological sciences and psychiatry at New York City’s Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. “Different ways used by people or the pharmaceutical industry are being adapted by cannabinoid companies.”

https://www.chicagotribune.com/dining/ct-food-chicago-cbd-infused-drinks-0529-story.html

lol they are from Oregon of course

https://www.ablisbev.com/

well I'm not exactly off the wagon but I had a total of 5 beers over 3 days last weekend. nothing since Monday. still really enjoying ginger beers and lime Topo Chico. I spent a total of 9 weeks completely on-wagon, single 5-oz. beer pour excepted. Let's see how it goes moving forward for the last 30 days of the 90 I planned. I have a new Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale in the fridge that has been there since Monday, I am definitely gonna drink it this weekend :)

I’m something over six months on the uberwagon, maybe a year of greatly reduced drinky overall. I find abstinence less effortful than “cutting back” so I guess I will just keep going with this because I’m lazy like that.

don't you get that feeling of unbearable soberness after a couple of days on the wagon? after a week usually i am so sober and dried out that i see no sense to stay on the wagon anymore as it seems just so boring and useless.

nah I liked it! I sleep way better with super limited booze intake, for one.

I only feel the unbearable sobriety when around others who are drunk i.e. some good friends invited me to karaoke Sat night and they will be fully loaded. I’m like, “do I have to?” Late-night dance parties are another example. Otherwise, no.

Christ yes I am hating being around my closest friends drunk when Im sober, but its also becase when sober I just dont want to beb social/talk to anyone and they all wont stop yammering on.

still on

Major wagon benefit: waking up early on weekends with zero effort, feeling good after a good night's sleep.

It still feels strange that I'll have been up and puttering about quite a lot on a Sunday morning, thinking "oh I guess it is about lunchtime," then looking at the clock and seeing it is 10:30 a.m.

That prick of joy has not gotten old.

^^^ ha yes I love that feeling and often reward myself with the mid-morning weekend nap. We’ve earned it!

Was at a big bat mitzvah party last night and accidentally took a big swig of someone’s clear booze drink, thinking it was my club soda. It tasted great tbh and many neurons in my brain perked up at the taste. Mixed feelings about that.

Major wagon benefit: waking up early on weekends with zero effort, feeling good after a good night's sleep.

It still feels strange that I'll have been up and puttering about quite a lot on a Sunday morning, thinking "oh I guess it is about lunchtime," then looking at the clock and seeing it is 10:30 a.m.

That prick of joy has not gotten old.

Also even if you don’t have to wake up early, you can stay up late and not feel like shit when you wake up if you haven’t been drinking!! A night person doesn’t need to turn into a morning person to reap the benefits of teetotaling 😎

My point is that staying up late does not need to include substance abuse! Seems obvious but it’s easy to forget in adulthood.

^^^agree. If I was having drinks I either didn't have or didn't pay attention to "bedtime!" signals. Now I notice when I feel like going to bed and just. . . go to bed.

First 18 days of the new year without a drink. I felt noticeably great for the first two weeks; my diet has improved and I've been reading and exercising. I have that lovely feeling of being ready and able at the weekends too, which really is quite a thing. It's my birthday next weekend so I'll see how I go.

Are you wanting to stay on the wagon despite birthday or?

I'm pretty sanguine about it. I'm enjoying the periods of clarity (I did 6 weeks sober in September/October), while also enjoying exploring different beers when I get the chance.

Wagon in Time of COVID revive

I'm coming up on a year. It really isn't difficult at all anymore. A wistfulness once in a. while, but it isn't uncomfortable like a craving.

I 100% believe that the experience of cutting out EtOH and dealing with that discomfort, developing distress tolerance, learning new coping skill, etc. is the reason I am weathering the current storm with pretty much no distress.

How are others doing?

EtOH ?

It’s what teletubbies drink

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethanol

good boy

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b0/Ethanol-3D-balls.png/220px-Ethanol-3D-balls.png

this is probably one of those speak for yourself but not others kind of thing….

lol jimbo otm iow

same. Good to recognize it, no?

It has been for me. I had to rewire my brain.

I’m in the “I’ve had an SUD” camp, which is tbf pretty nu-skool

SMART Recovery is another AA alternative. CBT based approach.

SMART recovery is good, I got a lot out of it (including the motivation I needed to actually get something out of AA meetings, by "identifying not comparing"). They do discourage the use of labels like "alcoholic" and "addict" in their meetings.

I say "alcoholic" when I'm at AA, I say "addict" when I'm at DAA, I don't go to NA, and when I'm talking to normies I say "a sober person in long term recovery, and what that means for me is I haven't needed to drink or take drugs since (MM/DD/YYYY)"

...unless they're British normies, then I go with DD/MM/YYYY

I've had some pretty good non-drinking stints over the past few years but I'm still mostly running behind the wagon trying to keep up once in a while. One tactic that's helped me cut down when I'm out at bars is for every beer I drink I have to follow it up with a bitters and soda, which I've found to be better than NA beers and hop water for scratching that drinking itch. Some of my issue is that I will down any beverage in front of me pretty quickly, my bladder's capacity being the only thing that really slows me down. I always play it off as saying "I'm a thirsty guy" but it's probably more a compulsion issue than thirst (I'm also a very fast eater). Last night I went out to a show and felt like I was drinking a decent amount and when it came time to close my tab I was pleasantly surprised to see just 2 beers on it.