Thomas Friedman, why don't you break up?

you don't say

footlights! curtain! genocide!

Tom Friedman and his traveling menagerie, touring the rust belt in his box truck, dazzling americans with his extensive collection of pet theories

omg his Bloomberg endorsement column is the laugh riot of the season! Five stars!

Don't miss the disclaimer! Greatest exit line since Some Like It Hot!

the only more expected thing than this would be Friedman endorsing a TED Talk for president

it's the first column of his i've all the way through in several years. a laugh a minute, seriously fucking hilarious.

"a moderate progressive with a heart of gold but the toughness of a rattlesnake"

and then the reveaal of the donation to Mrs Friedman's literacy museum

nothing sez "heart of gold" like "gift of gold"

bump

cuz Tom's fellow Bloombito supporters must read this

Was someone supporting Bloomberg on this messageboard?

Sanpaku doesn’t count

Effectively, we’d ‘reboot’ our society in two or perhaps more weeks from now. “The rejuvenating effect on spirits, and the economy, of knowing where there’s light at the end of this tunnel would be hard to overstate. Risk will not be zero, but the risk of some bad outcome for any of us on any given day is never zero.’’

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/22/opinion/coronavirus-economy.html

you go first, asshole

So, can we make lemonade out of this lemon — and not destroy our economy?

one for the annals

jesus h christ

lmao

A fantasy, you say? No, no. I’ll give you fantasy.

now what

https://i.imgur.com/LWjJ96H.png

quiz: identify the one good word in his opening paragraph:

In the last Democratic debate, Joe Biden declared that he would nominate a woman as his vice-presidential running mate. That felt right at the time. But times have changed. Biden needs to go much, much further: At the Democratic convention he needs to name not just his vice president, but his entire cabinet. And it needs to be a totally different kind of cabinet — a national unity cabinet — from Democrats on the Bernie Sanders left to Republicans on the Mitt Romney right. Why?

has the coronavirus made the world more or less flat?

That is a vmic Thomas Friedman Bold Idea (tm). It is strong, forthright, fresh and new, also unnecessary, unworkable and so self-important as to be faintly insane.

the important thing is that the GOP and republicans would really notice the pre-emptive compromise by Biden and the Democratic party, and realize that they, too, should act in a bi-partisan way from now on. we could look forward to a new era of total partnership between the parties, wow!

i never thought anything would get through to mitch mcconnell's cold heart, but i think a cabinet made up of half republicans and half democrats would really change him, i do!!

Tom is just as dumb when he works remotely

If I Told You My Idea Was a Robot That Harasses Chickens, You Wouldn’t Believe Me. But That’s My Best Idea. By Thomas Friedman pic.twitter.com/GVaJ2yoah4

— Hamilton Nolan (@hamiltonnolan) April 15, 2020

"It patrols the poultry house for dead birds" passes without comment

Buffalo Bill's most chilling line

If recent weeks have shown us anything, it’s that the world is not just flat. It’s fragile.

Can someone plz photoshop a pic of Friedman with a light bulb appearing in a thought bubble over his head?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EaJtI-cWsAAL_tj?format=jpg&name=900x900

wow

i'm gonna admit, this is headed toward so bad it's good territory

he dreamt a motto that was based off another motto, and then made a parody motto of that. then made that the headline

he's a goddamn genius

you can tell because of the way his hands are folded beneath his chin, true sign

i couldn't help it, sorry

Let's Change our Motto to __. It is Heading Toward __, and I fear it Becoming __.

any guesses?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eb240XTWoAA413C?format=jpg&name=small

A Chicken in Every Pot

Truck Fump

Make the Pie Bigger

A Big Fucking Deal

The Heart Rate Is Flat

I hate-read this post this morning. His stupidity is unfathomable.

end the suspense, mook! we need that slogan to phone-bank for Big Joe.

“Respect science, respect nature, respect each other.”

the catchphrase champion has done it again

what's the over/under on how long he spent thinking of that bumper sticker that will also win the election?

30 seconds?

America Is Already Great

Make America Greater Againer