Worst Films of 2019

i stopped watching the first one when the puppy gets killed and never went back

that's the heart though

the action is also beautifully choreographed imo but ymmv, sometimes the john wick movies are also too much for me even though i love them

The choreography + Keanu's manipulations of po-faced badassedness impressed me, but it's not a film I'll watch again.

anyways, is everybody okay with the idea that the cinematic reboot of noted ultra-wholesome 1940's comic book superhero turned early 80's Kids Power Hour saturday morning cartoon tentpole Captain Marvel (newly rechristened SHAZAM for reasons that merit their own movie) is comparably violent to Dude Killed My Dog 3?

In case you need a refresher, after Thaddeus Sivana, against the wizard Shazam’s protests, stole the Eye of Sin from the Rock of Eternity and became the new vessel for the Seven Deadly Sins, he traveled to Sivana Industries to confront his father and brother. Both of them had been emotionally abusive towards Thaddeus growing up, with his brother, Sid, blaming him for the accident that paralyzed their father. Now that he had the power to exact revenge, Thaddeus tossed Sid out the window and had the Seven Deadly Sins murder Mr. Sivana and everyone else in the room.

"Joker" was hot steaming garbage. I'm
still perplexed as to what a hit it's become - ok, not really.

"Her Smell" was insufferable.

xpost Leeeeeeet me guess without even bothering to check: Geoff Johns was involved in some capacity.

you win a pony
https://ew.com/books/2018/12/04/geoff-johns-shazam-bigger-spotlight-page-screen/

His impulse to befoul anything that once reeked of whimsy is pathological and more than a little creepy.

I’ve been curious about Aniara, heard mixed reviews. Not worth watching?

glad to see some hate for Her Smell and the Wicks (one was all I could manage)

I see relatively few bad movies since I stopped reviewing em (my pre-selection is like a bloodhound's)

like if I saw the Noe and T*r*ntino films, i'd put em here

but no

echo in the canyon. like being forced to read every page of an issue of mojo. jakob dylan and beck are given more screen time than david crosby. even tom petty manages to be annoying.

I thought Aniara had some clever ideas but they were all leading to a sort of weirdly anti-humanistic POV with an ending that got a chuckle out of me but also basically invalidated everything that came before as pointless. Seductive, promising, ultimately a little sadistic to the viewer; didn't pay off at all.

all that may be a function of the poem it's based on:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aniara

Can’t agree with you at all about Jojo Rabbit, I thought it was great. Shazam was fun. John wick 3 was fun. The worst movies I saw this year were Serenity, IT Chaper 2, and yeah, Late Night.

Also yes Echo in the Canyon was a missed opportunity

echo in the canyon. like being forced to read every page of an issue of mojo. jakob dylan and beck are given more screen time than david crosby. even tom petty manages to be annoying.

― ingredience (map), Tuesday, December 3, 2019 9:18 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Roger Mcguinn's fucking hat

What was so objectionable about The Biggest Little Farm to put it on a worst of list?

fatuousness mostly. flimsiness as well. very quid/aggy.

Have absolutely no desire to see Jojo Rabbit or anything by Taika Waititi but It Chapter 2 is def on mine

i will not be seeing It pts 1/2/infinity, Late Night, Jojo, Downton, Echo in the Canyon or Joker. Thread is helpful.

What was so objectionable about The Biggest Little Farm to put it on a worst of list?

Speaking for myself -- as muttered on the Alamo Drafthouse thread, the SF one is my actual local theater, so I see a lot of films there. This meant I saw the trailer...a lot. It was annoying the first time I saw it; by the tenth time or whatever I was pondering how to burn the screen down.

I'd much recommend the poem Aniara, it's pretty incredible. And the film is quite clever in how it adapts it. Still don't really think it's enough, it doesn't really work.

Shazam, IT Chapter Two and Doctor Sleep were all terrible.

the arthouse elephant in the room:

An Elephant Sitting Still

a good 2018 film

The worst thing I saw this year, by a *huge* distance, was the Netflix movie Polar directed by Jonas Akerlund. Those of you who thought John Wick sucked should see what a bad movie really looks like.

Tbh though I don't think I saw anything bad in theaters this year!

bad astra

Her Smell
Biggest Little Farm
Them That Follow

these sound like made-up titles

Spiderman: Far From Home

worst movie i saw in the theater was the new child's play. second-worst was joker.

The bad guy in Shazam murdering his terrible family didn't bother me at all?

http://www.tcj.com/the-shame-of-shazam-its-present-debacle-and-abuse/

I left Shazam early. didn't think it was terrible, but I was bored and they hadn't even gotten to the final boss battle or w/e. felt like it hit its one note too hard too often.

Can't wait to finally see the Rock tear some people in half in the pseudo-sequel.

Walking Tall 2?

Tallest Walking

https://www.screengeek.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/dwayne-johnson-black-adam.jpg
https://comicvine1.cbsistatic.com/uploads/scale_small/0/8190/251820-193465-black-adam.jpg

Rock be nimble
Rock be quick
Rock rip off the bad guy's dick

lol

I will gladly defend Jojo Rabbit, Arctic, the Art of Self-Defense, John Wick 3 and especially the Dead Don't Die.

Right now worst for me is Hagazussa

Real talk, I never heard of Shazam until this thread, and for a short time I thought it was a remake of the Shaq genie movie but then I remembered that was Kazaam not Shazam

alright whiney you clearly wanna argue, so tell me what's good about mumblecore fight club

You talmbout Art of Self Defense?

What a weird thing to call Jojo Rabbit

What was I supposed to get out of that TCJ article other than the original Shazam was super goofy?

Right now worst for me is Hagazussa

― The Mandymoorian (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, December 6, 2019 10:16 AM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

explain yourself

Xpost a lot of text

v confusing that Mads starred in two different movies called Arctic and Polar this year

haha yeah i don't like the biopic genre either but i thought it was weird / interesting / deeply depressing and r.z. doing her best wounded animal throughout was something else.

There were points I was caught up somewhere in between rolling my eyes and wiping mist away from them, which means it at least flirted with camp a few times.

xp back to whiney: i thought the filmmaking and the script for Art of Self Defense were so immediately, egregiously bad that I turned it off shortly after he went to the dojo.
i'm gonna take a crazy leap here and suggest the people who beat him up were from the dojo, no?

I really like Rocketman. Loads of fun.

richard jewell

obv

my friend had a screener and it’s like barely a movie

so smarmy and self-regarding that it had the unintended effect of making me believe jewell did it

"did you do it?"
"No"
"Did you do it?"
"No"
"Did you do it?"
"No"
"We think you did."
"Oh."

HER SMELL is easily my favorite movie of the year, probably top 5 of the decade

i lasted about twenty minutes and then the person i was with simultaneously leaned in at the same time i did and we both said "wanna go?" more or less at once

Has everyone read the Wiki synopsis for Last Christmas already

Scenario I cannot ever imagine myself in, regardless of whatever came next:

Slides actual cash money toward a cashier. "One adult for Her Smell, please."

Who stands in line anymore

I'm waiting for Smell Her, personally.

Sir...

Thanks for the heads up on Last Christmas, Simon. I don't know how it took the Hallmark Channel so long to get one of their movies into an actual theater, but good on em.

I'm waiting for Smell Her

A sequel to Talk to Her?

Or Ben Hur.

Ben Hur break her any way you want her

yahoo headline:

Clint Eastwood's record-breaking movie flop

Unlike the breakout success of "Joker," the debate surrounding "Richard Jewell" did little to inspire interest among moviegoers.

it is truly some deeply astonishing shit to see one succeed while the other failed.

What’s the deal with Richard Jewell, is that a Batman thing too?

Richard Jewell is a renowned jewelry thief looking for one last score. Unfortunately, the job goes bad and he is pursued by veteran cop Olin Picks, who is three days from retirement.

That's when The Man With No Name shows up

Richard Jewell was so inspired by vajazzling that he created a similar line of genital adornments for men. Guess what the company was called. Just guess.

The Mule quietly made over $100 million in America last week, so I won't count this fucker out yet.

er last year

The new Michael Bay thing, 6 Underground, definitely belongs on this list. I'm not anti-Bay (I own Pain & Gain and respect the Criterion people for picking up on The Rock and Armageddon) but this thing is fucking garbage.

Richard Jewell crucially lacking Baby Yoda

I watched The Fanatic and it's not a "fun" bad movie. Deeply misanthropic.

seriously though, it's not too hard to figure out why a historical drama focused on a little remembered 90's catastrophe starring an unknown guy and titled "guy whose name you don't know" didn't clean up at the box office; the "it's the media stupid" subtext and imaginary honeypot journalist scandal probably muscled out the small sliver of the audience who would otherwise be curious enough to try it

I liked Aniara a lot, btw. Still plan on getting around to Hagazussa.