Worst Films of 2019

His impulse to befoul anything that once reeked of whimsy is pathological and more than a little creepy.

I’ve been curious about Aniara, heard mixed reviews. Not worth watching?

glad to see some hate for Her Smell and the Wicks (one was all I could manage)

I see relatively few bad movies since I stopped reviewing em (my pre-selection is like a bloodhound's)

like if I saw the Noe and T*r*ntino films, i'd put em here

but no

echo in the canyon. like being forced to read every page of an issue of mojo. jakob dylan and beck are given more screen time than david crosby. even tom petty manages to be annoying.

I thought Aniara had some clever ideas but they were all leading to a sort of weirdly anti-humanistic POV with an ending that got a chuckle out of me but also basically invalidated everything that came before as pointless. Seductive, promising, ultimately a little sadistic to the viewer; didn't pay off at all.

all that may be a function of the poem it's based on:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aniara

Can’t agree with you at all about Jojo Rabbit, I thought it was great. Shazam was fun. John wick 3 was fun. The worst movies I saw this year were Serenity, IT Chaper 2, and yeah, Late Night.

Also yes Echo in the Canyon was a missed opportunity

echo in the canyon. like being forced to read every page of an issue of mojo. jakob dylan and beck are given more screen time than david crosby. even tom petty manages to be annoying.

― ingredience (map), Tuesday, December 3, 2019 9:18 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Roger Mcguinn's fucking hat

What was so objectionable about The Biggest Little Farm to put it on a worst of list?

fatuousness mostly. flimsiness as well. very quid/aggy.

Have absolutely no desire to see Jojo Rabbit or anything by Taika Waititi but It Chapter 2 is def on mine

i will not be seeing It pts 1/2/infinity, Late Night, Jojo, Downton, Echo in the Canyon or Joker. Thread is helpful.

What was so objectionable about The Biggest Little Farm to put it on a worst of list?

Speaking for myself -- as muttered on the Alamo Drafthouse thread, the SF one is my actual local theater, so I see a lot of films there. This meant I saw the trailer...a lot. It was annoying the first time I saw it; by the tenth time or whatever I was pondering how to burn the screen down.

I'd much recommend the poem Aniara, it's pretty incredible. And the film is quite clever in how it adapts it. Still don't really think it's enough, it doesn't really work.

Shazam, IT Chapter Two and Doctor Sleep were all terrible.

the arthouse elephant in the room:

An Elephant Sitting Still

a good 2018 film

The worst thing I saw this year, by a *huge* distance, was the Netflix movie Polar directed by Jonas Akerlund. Those of you who thought John Wick sucked should see what a bad movie really looks like.

Tbh though I don't think I saw anything bad in theaters this year!

bad astra

Her Smell
Biggest Little Farm
Them That Follow

these sound like made-up titles

Spiderman: Far From Home

worst movie i saw in the theater was the new child's play. second-worst was joker.

The bad guy in Shazam murdering his terrible family didn't bother me at all?

http://www.tcj.com/the-shame-of-shazam-its-present-debacle-and-abuse/

I left Shazam early. didn't think it was terrible, but I was bored and they hadn't even gotten to the final boss battle or w/e. felt like it hit its one note too hard too often.

Can't wait to finally see the Rock tear some people in half in the pseudo-sequel.

Walking Tall 2?

Tallest Walking

https://www.screengeek.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/dwayne-johnson-black-adam.jpg
https://comicvine1.cbsistatic.com/uploads/scale_small/0/8190/251820-193465-black-adam.jpg

Rock be nimble
Rock be quick
Rock rip off the bad guy's dick

lol

I will gladly defend Jojo Rabbit, Arctic, the Art of Self-Defense, John Wick 3 and especially the Dead Don't Die.

Right now worst for me is Hagazussa

Real talk, I never heard of Shazam until this thread, and for a short time I thought it was a remake of the Shaq genie movie but then I remembered that was Kazaam not Shazam

alright whiney you clearly wanna argue, so tell me what's good about mumblecore fight club

You talmbout Art of Self Defense?

What a weird thing to call Jojo Rabbit

What was I supposed to get out of that TCJ article other than the original Shazam was super goofy?

Right now worst for me is Hagazussa

― The Mandymoorian (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, December 6, 2019 10:16 AM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

explain yourself

Xpost a lot of text

v confusing that Mads starred in two different movies called Arctic and Polar this year

8 billion xposts wow holy fuck slow down y'all

Fun fact: the Shazam! film (aka the film about the DC superhero named Captain Marvel) was in theaters at the same time as the Captain Marvel film which, as I learned, may have created a great deal of confusion among those old enough to remember when the DC version was more casually referred to as Captain Marvel. I have to assume something about those overlapping releases was intentional but I don't know to what end.

Right now worst for me is Hagazussa

― The Mandymoorian (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, December 6, 2019 10:16 AM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

explain yourself

― american bradass (BradNelson), Friday, December 6, 2019 12:21 PM (six seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

idk, it's that Lars Von Trier shit where its an art film with all the the totally unnecessary blood and totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation cinema but its there to "make you think." Plus theres like tons of "folk horror" that's better with allegories and better with story and not just a laundry list of gross shit/weird vibes

I also have a natural aversion to anything in 2019 that treats human sexuality as something S O S E R I O U S. real will ferrell and rachel dratch in the hot tub vibes

Sounds like every slow Metal album from the last decade

haven't seen / don't care about Jojo but for a sense of the case against:

https://letterboxd.com/estheronfilm/film/jojo-rabbit/

There's totally a place for lolling at Nazis but that place is not tweecore

I will probably regret this in about 15 minutes

many xps, yes aka the antisocial network

other xp to djp: just that the film takes everything that made captain marvel/shazam great and roundfiles it in favor of sadism and marvel-meets-Big attitude

Sounds like every slow Metal album from the last decade

― éminence rose et jaune (Noodle Vague), Friday, December 6, 2019 10:32 AM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

damn, nv otm

i didn't get any of that from hagazussa whiney but this wouldn't be the first time i've talked about this film with someone and felt like they watched something different

HER SMELL is easily my favorite movie of the year, probably top 5 of the decade

i lasted about twenty minutes and then the person i was with simultaneously leaned in at the same time i did and we both said "wanna go?" more or less at once

Has everyone read the Wiki synopsis for Last Christmas already

Scenario I cannot ever imagine myself in, regardless of whatever came next:

Slides actual cash money toward a cashier. "One adult for Her Smell, please."

Who stands in line anymore

I'm waiting for Smell Her, personally.

Sir...

Thanks for the heads up on Last Christmas, Simon. I don't know how it took the Hallmark Channel so long to get one of their movies into an actual theater, but good on em.

I'm waiting for Smell Her

A sequel to Talk to Her?

Or Ben Hur.

Ben Hur break her any way you want her

yahoo headline:

Clint Eastwood's record-breaking movie flop

Unlike the breakout success of "Joker," the debate surrounding "Richard Jewell" did little to inspire interest among moviegoers.

it is truly some deeply astonishing shit to see one succeed while the other failed.

What’s the deal with Richard Jewell, is that a Batman thing too?

Richard Jewell is a renowned jewelry thief looking for one last score. Unfortunately, the job goes bad and he is pursued by veteran cop Olin Picks, who is three days from retirement.

That's when The Man With No Name shows up

Richard Jewell was so inspired by vajazzling that he created a similar line of genital adornments for men. Guess what the company was called. Just guess.

The Mule quietly made over $100 million in America last week, so I won't count this fucker out yet.

er last year

The new Michael Bay thing, 6 Underground, definitely belongs on this list. I'm not anti-Bay (I own Pain & Gain and respect the Criterion people for picking up on The Rock and Armageddon) but this thing is fucking garbage.

Richard Jewell crucially lacking Baby Yoda

I watched The Fanatic and it's not a "fun" bad movie. Deeply misanthropic.

seriously though, it's not too hard to figure out why a historical drama focused on a little remembered 90's catastrophe starring an unknown guy and titled "guy whose name you don't know" didn't clean up at the box office; the "it's the media stupid" subtext and imaginary honeypot journalist scandal probably muscled out the small sliver of the audience who would otherwise be curious enough to try it

I liked Aniara a lot, btw. Still plan on getting around to Hagazussa.