fuck cancer

Love to you and your wife, CP - and good luck to the clan calzino, too.

<3 <3 <3 cp

thanks everyone and echoing AF to you calzino, hope you are doing OK

sending love and best wishes to you and your wife, CP

and best wishes to all your family too, calz

Much love to all! x

Wishing you all the best, CP (and the calzinos too).

Good wishes to everybody dealing with this stuff <3

love to you & yr wife CP, and calzino

I'd better do this now while I'm in an OK mood.

my wife's been going downhill since around Christmas. she can hardly walk now and was frequently in pain through the night. she got prescribed valium on top of the morphine and about 10 other medications she has to take. it didn't help much so a GP came and doubled her morphine and more than doubled the valium. she pretty much slept for the next 2 days then was only awake for a couple of hours a day for the next couple of days after that. it still wasn't working and she was in pain all the time but now she was also having problems with her memory and some vision problems, which were almost like dementia at times. I started to panic that it was spreading to her brain because I'd seen this happen with my uncle 3 years ago just a couple of months before she was originally diagnosed. she was thinking the same thing, but it did start with the increased medication and I've since been reassured by a couple of doctors this is because of drugs, not brain mets.

anyway, despite them drugging her up she was still in pain all the time, it wasn't helping with that really, so I was lost for what to do, calling round various divisions of the NHS and the hospice, we had the emergency nurses out twice last week, then a GP came who seemed to know a bit more what he was doing, said the previous GP didn't know what to do (this is a bit of theme isn't it) so just upped everything but actually they should be changed her medication instead of just all sedation all the time. it was a bit too late though and she was in pain the next night as well, so on Monday I called the hospice and they said to bring her in. so she's been at the hospice since Monday. they are experimenting with different drugs to see if they can actually target the pain rather than just knocking her out. there's been some success with pregabalin and lorazepam. she's probably there for another week, barring miracles or if they still can't get it sorted by then. but I'm a bit relieved after what looked like a rapid downturn. it's not going to be good news but if they can get the pain under control at least that's something. but I think time is running out.

tbh I've been absolutely fucking exhausted the past couple of weeks, had a cold just to make everything worse. at least while she is at the hospice I know that if she wakes up in agony at 4am there is someone there to help her.

strength to you both cp

Nothing useful to say but I and lots of others here are wishing you some good amid all this.

sometimes life is so shit CP - all the best to you and your partner.

Really sorry CP - take the time to get some rest for yourself and know that she is in the right place atm.

thoughts are with you and your wife, CP.

for all the trouble they've caused people through their abuse ime, opiates frequently don't seem to cut the mustard when people are really suffering.

Wishing you and your wife the best, CP.

xp

tbf I think it was the valium that fucked her up more than the morphine.

of course now she's just on a different benzo but she's more lucid over the last couple of days. she still mixes up words and has double vision (although that's a side effect of pregabalin) but she can remember what we talked about 5 minutes ago

oh yes, of course. benzodiazepines can be very harsh also.

CP, I am so very sorry to hear this. Love to you both.

i'm sorry you have to go through this, you are doing yourself & your wife every credit

we'd also had a wheelchair on loan from the Red Cross, which we were supposed to give back in October. but tbh when you don't know how much time you have left, and they didn't contact us about it, we just didn't bother bringing it back. then a couple of weeks ago they rang us up saying where's the wheelchair and btw we now charge £15 a week for it, since November. I was prepared to have an argument because I was expecting them to try and charge me 3 months at £15 a week despite not bothering to tell us they were going to do this until now, but tbh they were ok about it when I took it back and I ended up giving them more money than they asked for.

but still though. £15 a week? I just bought a fucking wheelchair off Amazon last week for £100 to replace it (the NHS waiting list is apparently several weeks, do we even have several weeks) that looks basically the same as the one we had, except a bit lighter cos it's got an aluminium frame, that's 6 weeks at their rate. wtf. OK watch this one fall apart the first time we use it.

just saw this as I never look at ILE, much love to both of you

Thinking of you CP

Wishing you all the best CP, that's awful.

Just can't imagine making a phone call to say there is a £15 charge for a wheelchair.

Love to you both.

so sorry to read this CP, love to you both and stay strong :(

Just can't imagine making a phone call to say there is a £15 charge for a wheelchair.

Wait til you see how much people charge to repair them...

Sorry CP. Have been thinking of you both, if that's not too weird. Cancer and its various forms seem to be prominent in families I know right now. Some good stories, some less so.

Much love, CP.

This is based on a survey of one, but considering what you're saying, I'd enjoy as much as possible your time while she's lucid now.

Best to you and your wife. Strength.

My wife passed away on Sunday. I don't have much to say at the moment but I knew I would need to tell people at some point and I am trying to get things done, partly to keep myself busy I think so the grief doesn't completely overwhelm me.

thats so horrible to hear.

people are thinking of you, wishing you the best.

Noticed you had been away for a week or so, so sorry to hear the news.

Sorry to hear that CP.

I often think of you and what you're going through, CP. Wishing you strength – and peace.

Very sorry CP. Wishing you all the strength, and warmth from people around you.

Much love to you CP.

yeah, love to you cp, so sorry

Peace and strength, CP.

That's awful news, hugs to you cp

so sorry CP, best thoughts to everyone

Much love to you, man - take care of yourself, and let other people take care of you too.

Sending love and condolences, CP xxx

Condolences CP, <3

very sorry to hear that, CP. sending love and wishing you strength

very sorry to hear your news sir CP.
your story has been heartbreaking to follow, and all too rather familiar.
after the absolute chaos of the last few months, it's now time to really take care of yourself.
if you need to reach out vent/scream etc then by all means do so - my ilx email is still valid.
m. xx

Oh CP, so very sorry to hear this. What a long, grueling battle you both had. Hoping you find some peace in the months ahead.

I’m so very sorry. You did your utmost, and I hope that stays with you as the shock eases. Life is hard to make sense of but to be loved like that is the best anyone could hope for.

I am so sorry for you, CP.

Thinking of you, CP. I'm so very sorry for what both of you have had to endure.

love to you dear Colonel